The Happiness Project: I'm sending emails asking friends for their birthdays.

THE HAPPINESS PROJECT is the memoir of the year I spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier – happily, it was a #1 New York Times bestseller. As one of the hundreds of experiments I've conducted, I started this blog. Here, I recount my daily adventures in pursuit of happiness. –

Gretchen Rubin

Twelve Personal Commandments

Four Splendid Truths

First: To be happier, you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
Second: One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
Third: The days are long, but the years are short. (click the link to see my one-minute movie)
Fourth: You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy.

30-Second
TV Commercial

What Started Me Thinking

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
"Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
“A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
“Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
“Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
Sartre: "Hell is other people."
Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

I'm sending emails asking friends for their birthdays.

Each month of the Happiness Project has a special focus, and April’s focus is FRIENDS.

So I’m sending emails asking friends for their birth dates. I’ve never been good at remembering friends’ birthdays—or to be more accurate, I never remember any friend’s birthday (except the friend whose birthday falls the day after mine).

Once I get my list filled in, I’m going to try using an internet site to send me prompts, or if that doesn’t work, pencil the dates in my trusty filofax.

But I’ve already benefited. Gathering those dates obliged me to email a lot of people I hadn’t been in touch with for a while, and I got nice responses back from many of them.

Sending out “happy birthday” messages means I’ll connect with every friend at least once a year. That sounds so meager, but the fact is, it would be an improvement.

Posted April 20, 2006

Comments

Gretchen, try using Birthday Alarm.com... It is soooo handy for reminding you of your friends' birthdays and anniversaries! ~Monica

Posted by: Monica Ricci | June 13, 2006 at 05:55 PM

want friends

Posted by: kevin njinke njila | December 19, 2006 at 02:37 PM

Please give me your birthdate again, I need to log it in?

Sandra

Posted by: SANDRA | February 20, 2007 at 08:00 PM

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Gretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.