My attempt to be friendly backfires.

I’m trying to be friendlier in the anonymous interactions of daily life. So, while standing in a very slow-moving line at Kinkos, I decided to strike up a conversation with the two other people waiting. In a friendly, we’re-all-in-this-together way, I said, “You know, if they actually had good service here, I’d be in Kinkos every day.”

Well, my experience proved again the power of one of Life’s True Rules: emphasize the positive. My foray in friendliness did energize the other people, but with dire consequences. They both talked in a very nice way to me, but they both became distinctly unfriendly--or more accurately, enraged--with the clerks. Apparently, until I pointed out how long we’d been in line, the three of us had waited with a kind of dreamy patience. But when I focused their attention, I unleashed a horrible wrath.

Next time, I’ll talk about the weather.

Comments

[Elizabeth Craft]

You're right that we should all emphasize the positive, but it's SO MUCH easier to talk to strangers about something negative, right? And let's face it, the service at Kinkos DOES suck.

[Mark F]

Lately I've made the habit of complimenting service people behind the counter when they have great energy or are particularly friendly.

[mehmet aydalga]

i would try to meet you,if you let me...

[Michael Boss]

As Neil Young sings, "don't let it bring you down, it's only castles burning...".

My problem with engaging with a stranger who starts a conversation with a negative is that I immediately think, "Uh, oh...a 'kevetcher'. Back away slowly and avoid direct eye contact, or they will slowly suck the life force out of you." The insufferably perky are easier to deal with in random encounters than the complainers (even if the complaint is valid).

The exception is when someone uses humor to make their point. Say, glancing at their watch and observing, "gosh, is it time for the Rapture yet, cause it seems like I've been standing here since half past the end times." Needless to say, that particular bit of wit could be offensive depending on the audience, but snarky still beats cranky in my book.