This Wednesday: Tips...to make a good first impression.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day. 

This Wednesday:  Tips...to make a good first impression.

n      smile and lean toward others as they talk

n      if standing, keep your body fully facing the people you’re speaking with

n      ask questions and follow up on people’s remarks; and in doing so, focus on opinions and feelings, not just facts

n      don’t interrupt

n      compliment others

n      try to find common experiences or interests

n      mention some vulnerabilities and laugh at yourself

n      draw others out and encourage people to join the conversation

n      put energy in your voice

n      at least at the start, focus on positive comments, not criticisms or complaints

n      offer a variety of topics

n      share observations about everyday life

n      share your passions and interests

n      don’t dwell on the minutiae of your life, especially annoyances

n      remember: people give more weight to their early information (were you engaged, warm, distracted, pompous?) than to later information, so be your most charming at the beginning of the conversation

n      remember: most people are more eager to be found interesting, funny, or insightful than to be interested, amused, or informed by you

For a fascinating, highly practical book on this topic, read Ann Demarais and Valerie White's First Impressions.

Comments

[Remonster in Baghdad]

Well well, I am so glad to post on this site! Mr.Wolcott is an oft visited cyber-friend and he pointed me here. So...Hi! I will check in on you as I can and watch your progress in becoming happy(er)? We need all the happy people this planet can get.

Carpe Ciem/Cavaet Emptor

[Passing Shot]

I must also thank Wolcott for posting the link. This has become a daily visit, and has been added to my bookmarks. I wish you well in your journey, and I will try to be a "fellow traveller."

[dana hoey]

This list of 12 commandments is great. Be Dana. Such a hard lesson after an early adulthood of squishing myself into any and all uncomfortable contexts. Is it a challenge to do this? Or just a freaking waste of time? Hard to know.

Wednesday's tips reminds me of something the most fascinating, smart, likeable people share, which is palpable curiousity. I just love this quality, and the only thing standing in its way is self-consciousness. However, if the mind is directed in the way you suggest, towards LISTENING and asking questions among other things, the self-consciousness problem evaporates. Anyway, look forward to more help with happiness.

[Matthew Cornell]

Thanks for the nice list, and for the link to White's book. My favorites in this area are "Never eat alone" by Keith Ferrazzi and "How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less" by Nicholas Boothman.

[Patrick]

Thanks for posting this. I mentioned you on my blog

http://linkersjournal.blogspot.com/

which has observations and Tips on Social Networking in face to face situations and with internet technology.

[Blah]

This is a really cool site :)

[Blah]

I wish you well on your journey :) You look really pretty in the picture :)

[gina]

great blog and great tips too.
Will be back tomorrow

[Richard]

This definitely does not seem to have been intended for anybody but submissive girls, because it won't work for anybody else.

[some dude]

I believe that the most important thing is to be yourself. This allows you to seem less clumsy or nervous and more relaxed and confident. It is also advised to mirror the other person's mode.. but again within the scope of your own personality.

[nicole]

Actually Gina - if more men employed these techniques, imagine how much more pleasant meeting men would be!

[james]

being part of the family is inevitable all this tips are basic and should be available to everyone

[Mr.Clean]

50/50 as to whether or not to discuss money. Some women don't want to hear it, others just can't get enough of listening to a man talk about how much money he has. I notice these dating/party tips rarely touch on this subject! lol

[Griz]

Like some hot chick like you has these issues. Nice to see what not to do, what about what to do

[NrthOfTheBorder]

Learn to give and take when conversing with someone. In short, don't hog the conversation!

Men are particularly at fault: as if the world exists exclusively for their personal pleasure, accomplishments, interests, and so on, and on, and on.

It's surprising how few people are willing to share conversational space and treat it as mutual opportunity to tell and to hear, to say and to learn.