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If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • The best reading is re-reading.
  • Outer order contributes to inner calm.
  • The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  • You manage what you measure.
  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they're fake, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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This Wednesday: Tips...to get good sleep.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Tips to get good sleep.

There’s a lot of advice out there about getting good sleep; here are tips that work for me:

Good habits for good sleep:
1. Exercise most days, even if it’s just to take a walk.
2. No caffeine after 7:00 p.m.
3. An hour before bedtime, avoid doing any kind of work that takes alert thinking. Addressing envelopes—okay. Analyzing an article—nope.
4. Adjust your bedroom temperature to be slightly chilly.
5. Keep your bedroom dark. Studies show that even the tiny light from a digital alarm clock can disrupt a sleep cycle. We have about six devices in our room that glow bright green; it’s like sleeping in a mad scientist’s lab. The Big Man's new pet, a Roomba (yes, he loves his robot vacuum), gives out so much light that I have to cover it with a pillow before bed.
6. Keep the bedroom as tidy as possible. It’s not restful to fight through chaos into bed.

If sleep won’t come:
1. Breathe deeply and slowly until you can’t stand it anymore.
2. If your mind is racing (you’re planning a trip, a move, Christmas shopping; you’re worried about a medical diagnosis), write down what’s on your mind. This technique really works for me.
3. Slather yourself with body lotion. It feels good and also, if you’re having trouble sleeping because you’re hot, it cools you down.
4. If your feet are cold, put on socks.
5. Stretch your whole body.
6. Have a warm drink. Some people claim that warm milk contains melatonin and trytophan and so helps induce sleep, but in fact, a glass of milk doesn’t contain enough to have any effect. But it’s still a soothing drink. My nighttime favorite: 1/3 mug of milk, add boiling water, one packet of Equal, and a dash of vanilla. A real nursery treat.
7. Yawn.
8. Stretch your toes up and down several times.
9. Tell yourself, “I have to get up now.” Imagine that you just hit the snooze alarm and in a minute, you’re going to be marching through the morning routine. Often this is an exhausting enough prospect to make me fall asleep.

Re-frame:
Re-frame your sleeplessness as a welcome opportunity to snatch some extra time out of your day. I get up and tackle mundane chores, like paying bills, organizing books, or tidying up. Then I start the day with a wonderful feeling of having accomplished something even before 6:45 am.

Comments

sleep: it seems the new thing to obsess about and i, for one, am deeply grateful as i am struggling with it. what keeps us up at night--the contemporary "to be or not to be." sometimes i feel anxiety peaks at night, and i am working on a few solutions (the caffeine suggestion is a great one, hard to hew to). the deeper question is how to relieve the anxiety, and understand it. is happiness/sleep a chicken/egg problem. seems that way. when i've slept well i can feel invincible.

#9 has always been my favorite trick -- I'm trying to teach it to my nine-year-old now -- but #5 doesn't work for me. Dark rooms give me nightmares, which interrupt sleep cycles even more :/

Cheese helps me sooth down before bed :) same with toast.

Routine I find helps, have the same routine for going to bed. Plus constant sleep times, try to always go to and get out of bed at the same time each day. Easier said than done :P

No caffeine at all -- that is a key element of getting good sleep. Give it a try, and you'll be amazed at how much more energy you have throughout the day.

I just found this blog and I absolutely love it. Thanks so much for your insight and human-ness.

on sleep, I struggled with insomnia for some time after my grandmother died and I had to move out of my apartment while they de-molded it. The thing that did the trick, finally, was not worrying about not sleeping. I finally got myself a good book and when I woke up in the night, I would just read until I could fall asleep again. I only had insomnia a couple of time after I started reading and *accepting* that I just wasn't going to sleep through the night.

Thank you for valuable information.

♥i cant get to sleep no matter what i do i need like pills or sumthing please i need more help than this.♥

To sleep properly your room should be quiet, dark, and you need to quiet your mind [most people]. I sleep with soft earplugs for years [I cut off about 1/4-1/3 inch of the 'wider' end so it doesn’t press too hard, is softer, and doesn't go in your ear that far]. I have double blinds in my room. When traveling I carry clips to hold curtains together and keep light out. I bring stickers to cover LED’s and other light sources or just unplug stuff. When booking a cruise ship -- get inside room -- it's perfectly dark, cheaper, and I sleep fantastic! Lastly... you need to quiet your mind -- that is the hardest for many people. Stop thinking about daily, future and past issues by reciting in your mind a mantra that works for you! I keep on repeating "I'm happy and falling asleep" over and over... soon you'll fall asleep! Voila!

Thanks alot for the information. Really appreciate it. I've Subscribed to your RSS feed for Further updated. I'm trying to teach it to my nine-year-old now -- but #5 doesn't work for me. Dark rooms give me nightmares, which interrupt sleep cycles even more :/

Best Regards,
Debra@Panic Away

I often have trouble falling asleep, because I am thinking, thinking, thinking. I've found that listening to a relaxation CD helps me quiet my mind. A CD of nature sounds is okay, but my favorite is Meditainment Rest & Sleep. I even used this CD with my 7-year-old grandson, and it helped him fall asleep as well.

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

9Rules

  • 9rules

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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