What Started Me Thinking

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Are you a satisficer or a maximizer?

Last night, at dinner with some friends, we talked about whether we were satisficers or maximizers.

Satisficers (yes, satisfice is a word, I checked) are those who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high; but as soon as they find the car, the hotel, or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied.

Maximizers want to make the optimal decision. So even if they see a bicycle or a photographer that would seem to meet their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, so they know they’re making the best possible choice.

Most people are a mix of both approaches. For example, one friend was a satisficer about renting an apartment, but a maximizer about buying an apartment. As a consequence, he and his wife are renting an apartment now, because they had to move, and they're still searching for the perfect apartment to buy.

In a fascinating book, The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz argues that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers must spend a lot more time and energy to reach a decision, and they’re often anxious about whether they are, in fact, making the best choice.

My mother is a good example of what I’d call a “happy limited maximizer.” In certain distinct categories, she’s a maximizer, and she loves the very process of investigating every possibility. My sister is getting married next year, and I know that my mother would love nothing more than to see her try on practically every possible wedding dress, just for the fun of it. But too often maximizers find the research process exhausting—yet can’t let themselves “settle” for anything but the best.

The difference between the two approaches may be one reason some people find a big city like New York overwhelming. If you’re a maximizer, and you live in New York, you could spend months surveying your options for bedroom furniture or even wooden hangers. In a smaller city, like Kansas City, even the most zealous maximizer can size up the available options pretty quickly.

In almost every category, I’m a satisficer, and until I read the Schwartz book, I felt guilty about the fact that often I make decisions without doing more research. For example, when I wanted to start a weight-training program, I didn’t study the options at all. A friend of mine told me she loved her trainer and regime, and I just got the number and called. In law school, one friend interviewed with something like fifty law firms before she decided where she wanted to go as a summer associate; I think I interviewed with six. And we ended up at the same firm (which I found both reassuring and vindicating).

It’s one of Life’s True Rules: let someone else do the research.

Comments

How interesting. I'm a combo of both. If I'm purchasing something I consider to be a "major" purchase (electronics, cars, major appliances, etc) I'll research the heck of it. I'm definitely a maximizer in that department.
But for most things, I'd say I'm a satisficer, I make pretty quick decisions and that works for me. ~Monica

I definitely want to read The Paradox Of Choice! I read a fantastic book titled Learned Optimism by Martin E.P. Seligman where the last chapter sums up his belief that our culture now with it's vast array of overwhelming choices is the cause of massive depression problems. Very interesting concept. He introduced me first to the word "satisfice"! ;)

I just went to buy The Paradox Of Choice on Amazon and sure enough, Martin Seligman (mentioned above) is quoted on the back cover! Small literary world!

I really like your blog and have been reading it for the past couple weeks.

What an interesting topic! I'm fascinated. I think I have a tendency toward maximizing that goes very well with my overly analytical personality. Your post helped me understand how anyone could not like a city like New York or large menus at a restaurant.

However I cannot agree with your last sentence because of course I LOVE research. So let it be me!

ist time reader

Thanks for the vocab! Now I just need to master the art of saying "satisficer" with a straight face.

Also, my two cents: I've moved (rather quickly) from being a maxmizer to a deliberate satisficer over the past year, and it really does beget happiness. I try not to weigh simply costs (the time) versus the gain (the benefits of a better choice), but also the uncertainty involved. Do I really know that this is a better choice? Do I have a clue? It would scare my parents to hear it, but that came in handy when choosing a college!

I just hope my doctor is a maximizer...

I'm a maximizer that wishes he could be a satisficer.

Or more precisely, I'm a maximizer with my own money, and a satisficer with other people's money.

Just wanted to thank you for your site. I'm a middle school teacher teaching special education (past 18 years LAUSD). Your tips have made this group of students (and their teacher) happier than our life circumstances would lead anyone to believe. I'm a satisficer!

Interesting. I have realized that I have been maximiser, specially being in the field of financial analysis. I try to analyze all the options which sometimes paralyze me. I realized that being satisficer would simplify my life, but have been hard time being one. But now I am going to try harder to be a satisficer.

Being a maximiser has definitely affected my happiness - I've always done it across the board; work, relationships, you name it. My Dad luckily always told me that "Any decision is better than no decision at all", and that's helped me move forward despite my natural tendencies.

Seems like there are lots of parallels between this concept and "don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good."

And there is certainly something to be said for the value of time - the more time you invest in researching various decisions, the less time you have to invest in areas of your life that make you happy. Is maximizing in one area worth the minimizing in another? Sometimes it is, but often it's not. At least to me.

I'm a maxintuiter*. I love the research process (for anything, really; I'm an academic at heart) but although I will take into account the various qualities to narrow things down, I'm really waiting for the inner click - which may not in fact happen with the choice that seems objectively "best".

*made-up word

Interesting! I'm sending my uber-maximizing hubby this post, Gretchen. Sometimes he needs to tone down his massive research, but he loves the process -- and the satisfaction of knowing he made the BEST choice considering all criteria, options, price, blahblahblah.

Great info.

There's great satisfaction in being a maximizer. I remember shopping for a suit with my wife. We went all over a very large mall and ultimately came back to the first store where I tried on a suit and bought it there. My satisficer wife thought it pointless to expend that much time and energy, but I was only satisfied when I knew it was the best suit for the price in the mall. I question Barry Schwartz's argument that satisficers tend to be happier. If I buy a car or a vacuum cleaner, my extensive research leads me to purchasing decisions that I can claim (with authority) are the best I could make. The approach eliminates later regret over bad purchase decisions and the methodology transfers to better results with other kinds of decisions.

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.


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Life Remix   9 Rules