The Happiness Project: This Wednesday: Tips...for handling mail.

My Twelve Commandments

1. Be Gretchen.
2. Let it go.
3. Act as I would feel.
4. Do it now.
5. Be polite and be fair.
6. Enjoy the process.
7. Spend out.
8. Identify the problem.
9. Lighten up.
10. Do what ought to be done.
11. No calculation.
12. There is only love.

Secrets of Adulthood.

By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
It's nice to have plenty of money.
Most decisions don't require extensive research.
Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
If you can't find something, clean up.
The days are long, but the years are short.
Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
It's okay to ask for help.
You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
You don't have to be good at everything.
Soap and water removes most stains.
It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
You know as much as most people.
Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

December: The way of perfection.
November: Take the extra step.
October: Try hypnosis.
September: Write a novel.
August: Contemplate the heavens.
July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
June: Eat a peach.
May: Laugh out loud.
April: Remember birthdays.
March: Start a blog.
February: Sing in the morning.
January: Clear my closets.

Happiness theories I reject.

Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
Sartre: "Hell is other people."
Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

StatCounter2

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Tips…for handling mail.

You come home to a glowering stack of mail. What next? Everyone’s routine will be slightly different, but here’s the system that, after much trial and error, I devised for myself.

1. The first and KEY step to handling mail: I stand next to a wastebasket and toss junk-mail the minute I identify it.

2. I put magazines in the magazine drawer. Most people display magazines on coffee tables or in special magazine racks. I’ve never understood this. Magazines always look messy. I keep them out of sight.

3. I open bills and throw away everything but the parts I need. I’ve been considering automating my bills, but some friends have had bad experiences, so I’m holding off for now.

4. I put those bills in my correspondence drawer, where I keep stamps, envelopes, an address stamp, and my checkbook. Once a week or so, I watch a Friends re-run and pay them.

5. I put invitations in a special pile to take to my office, along with anything else that needs to be noted on my calendar or that requires a phone call.

6. In my office, I have an “Upcoming Events and Invitations” folder. There I put invitations, directions, tickets, emailed plane tickets, reminder notices, any information related to an upcoming event. I write “yes” on an invitation after I’ve rsvp’d, so I know I’ve responded.

7. A lot of people like to put invitations on their refrigerator, keep theater tickets tacked to a cork board in the hallway, put notices on their kitchen counters. To me, this is visual clutter. I have no cork board, keep my fridge bare, and make a daily sweep of papers off the counters. Clean surfaces create a calm mind.

8. I open the Big Man’s mail, too. If it’s something he needs to read, I leave it on the counter where he puts his wallet and keys each night. After he ignores his mail for two or three days, I chase him around the house until he deals with it.

9. I don’t know what people are “officially” supposed to keep, so this is just what works for me: I only keep bank and credit card statements, and I doubt very much that I even need to keep those, but I find them handy. If you’re keeping big piles of receipts, ask yourself: have I ever used this? How easily could I get a duplicate, if I did need it? Keep as little as possible.

What started me thinking.

"Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
"Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
“A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
“For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
“Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
“All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
“I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
“Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
“How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

Comments

Oh boy, I really need to print this post out! Thanks Gretchen!

Posted by: Alison Tuck | June 21, 2006 at 08:16 AM

Gretchen, I couldn't have written a better post on handling mail myself! As for what to keep... I'm neither an accountant nor an attorney, so I always advise my clients to consult their service professionals if they feel unsure. Typically I recommend you keep tax-related receipts and supporting documents for seven years, and your actual tax RETURNS you should keep indefinitely.

If you just have a regular job and you don't work from home, your utility bills can be shredded once they post to your account because you're not writing them off.

Your credit card bills keep for a year and bank statements for seven. Cancelled checks, keep seven years.

HOWEVER, the exceptions to these rules are if the item purchased has been used for a home improvement project, or can prove a large purchase that was used as a tax deduction -- then you should consider it tax info and keep it seven years or as long as you own the item.

Personal stuff to keep indefinitely: Birth certificates, marriage and divorce papers, copies of loans paid off, car titles, powers of attorney, wills & trusts, among others. ~Monica

Posted by: Monica Ricci | June 21, 2006 at 08:34 PM

Useful tool: Russell and Hazel has these fabulous new mini-binders and every insert you could possibly need to stay organized (mini-paper folders, mini-lined paper, mini-date set, etc.) I keep one on my kitchen counter (sorry, Gretchen) as a date book and general organizer (pages in the back for house-related phone numbers, folders for keeping track of random gift cards and business cards that would otherwise end up lost in the chasm of my purse, etc.). I also carry one back and forth to work every day with whatever's on my immediate agenda (bills that need to be paid, stamps, etc.) and then every night I swap out the old and put in the new. The things that carry over, stay in there until they're handled-- which encourages me to be prompt!

Posted by: Sarah Fain | June 22, 2006 at 08:54 PM

Sarah's comment reminds me of a great piece of advice someone gave me--that you should try to make your organizational tools as attractive as possible. Spend a little more if you can, to get the more attractive and sturdy products. It's a lot more fun to use things you like, and the secret to any organizational scheme is actually following through with it. I'm off to check out Russell and Hazel now.

Posted by: Gretchen Rubin | June 22, 2006 at 10:43 PM

Thank you very much for the suggestions. My husband and I stopped keeping bank statements and credit card statements about a year ago. With banks and credit card companines having statements available on line for viewing or downloading we have never needed anything we were not able to find on line. Also by downloading statements it is much easier to search and find the needed item. A note regarding Monica's comment of things to keep indefinately, these items should absolutely be kept in a safe deposit box. Keep a copy of everything in your safe deposit box in a file folder at home so you know, before making the trip to the bank, that the needed item is there. Also, never carry your social security card in your wallet with you. We never need to present our SS card for identification while doing routine errands. If your wallet is lost or stolen you will need your SS card to get a new drivers license, you need a photo id to get a copy of your SS card or birth certificate, you cannot begin to replace any lost items without the SS card.

Posted by: gateway63376 | June 30, 2006 at 09:31 AM

Great post! I use a lot of the ideas you present, and you have given me a couple of new ideas I can use to prevent clutter. I think it is really important to deal with mail right away and not create an "unopened mail pile" and I would like to share my method:

-Tax-related mail and receipts go into a hanging file folder in my home office desk to use when I prepare my taxes.

-Mail and receipts for warranties go into a file for the item with the warranty and manual.

-Investment-related documents: I hold onto trade confirmations and monthly statements. When I get a quarterly or yearly statement, I shred the individual or monthly statements.

-All the rest of the mail: Yup, toss or shred that junk mail immediately. For receipts, bank and credit card statements, I keep 3 month's worth in hanging folders in my home office desk, one month per folder. Each month, I shred the oldest receipts and statements in one of the three hanging files.

All my financial institutions have online statements so if I needed to get this information later, it's there for me. I've never had to go more than three months back to refer to this kind of documentation, though.

I have tried automating bill payments and have had some problems as well, so I use another method that doesn't involve a stamp: I pay bills online myself (not automatic payments). I have recurring bills set up in my personal finance software and it prompts me to pay the bills. I pay directly through the payee's website because doing so is free and I avoid paying a fee to BillPay or some other service. If I will be away from my computer for a few days, every payee's site allows for setting up a payment to be made on a later date so I'll select the appropriate date to pay the bill.

What a delight to have come across this blog - it's bookmark-worthy and I look forward to reading on!

Posted by: Shelley | June 30, 2006 at 09:52 AM

Speaking of beautiful organization tools -- check out this site: http://justorganizeyourstuff.com/

I can't afford it myself, but it looks really beautiful. :)

Posted by: Ali | July 22, 2006 at 12:05 AM

What are your reasons that it's bad to do automated bills? I haven't had any troubles but this worries me now.

Posted by: Miss HB | January 24, 2007 at 09:09 PM

Instead of standing beside a waste basket when you're processing mail and getting rid of papers, how about standing beside a recycling bin? Almost all household paper can be recycled. No point in sending it to a landfill. Shred any paper or labels that contain identifying info. Recycle that, too.

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