Happiness and the Hamptons.

We were in East Hampton over the holiday weekend, for a wedding. We stayed with friends, and had a wonderful time at the wedding and during our stay, but I did notice that I found myself thinking a lot about money.

Maybe it's because July is the month when I'm focusing on the connection between money and happiness, but I think it also had a lot to do with the Hamptons themselves.

Why, I asked myself, was money so much more on my mind in that place than it usually is?

Partly, I think, it's because in New York, unless someone invites you over, you don't really know much about where they live. Even people who live in fancy buildings someitmes have unfancy apartments, and people who live in unfancy buildings sometimes have terrific apartments, and neighborhoods that seem utterly unresidential--a street of apparently abandoned warehouses, or in the middle of the fur-and-feather district--often hide apartment buildings that look like nothing on the outside but have great apartments.

But in the Hamptons, you can really see people's houses--of course, the most lavish houses are mostly hidden, but you can see a lot of gorgeous houses. And when you can see, you compare, you calculate, you covet.

But it was more than the houses...I honestly, truly, do not crave a house in the Hamptons, so I don't think that alone would have kept forcing the subject of money into my mind. So what was it? The rows of luxury stores that line the streets of the little village? The cars some people drive? I hate to shop for clothes, and I don't like cars...yet nevertheless, I felt a vague, nagging sense of...grabbiness. Of wanting something more.

I really don't like that feeling.

The wise thing to do is to conquer my desires, let go of my grabbiness, maintain a proper perspective. Not easy. At the very least, for now, I'll take the short-cut of avoiding the Hamptons for the forseeable future.

Comments

[Kass]

Being from Long Island, I can really relate to this entry. That feeling of "grabbiness" hits me every time I see a Louis Vuitton bag, Kate Spade bag or anything Coach (particularly because I love Coach). I don't care for Louis Vuitton but the concept of it as a status symbol never hesitates to remind me what I don't have or may never be able to attain.

[Jeff]

Good topic! This is a huge one for me. Envy seems to come very quickly for me, and it can be debilitating: how can I get enough money to buy that house/vacation/wardrobe/kitchen appliance. Frustration follows, followed closely by anger and self pity. How do you curb that? Reminding myself of the things I do have and am grateful for helps a little. But telling myself, well, those things wouldn’t make me happier anyway, doesn’t cut it. Because I do want some of those things (especially nice vacations for my family). What does seem to get me through those periods is focusing on what is in front of me that I love (family, writing) and reminding myself that the things I desire for my family and myself, the worthwhile things, will come with some work and some patience.

[Gale]

This is so true!!! I wouldn't say any better! And the East Hampton is not the most expensive area the Hamptons.