Do you neglect to do what makes you happy?

As I was packing for our vacation, I asked myself: what do I really love to do? And the answer was obvious: I really love to read.

But even though I love to read, I often don’t make time for it, or instead of reading what I want, I lavish my reading time on books that I “ought” or “need” to read.

My friends who are editors, writers, and agents talk about this problem; you seek a kind of work because you love to read, and thereafter, you almost never pick up a book for pleasure.

So one of my happiness-project goals is to “read better.” I’m taking the time to read what attracts me, as well as ancient philosophers and modern scientists on the subject of happiness.

As a consequence of this goal, I resisted the temptation to cram my duffel bag full of duty-reading for the vacation. Instead, I took several substantial novels.

And once again, I was swept up in my intense, passionate love of books. I was struck, too, by the phenomenon of proximity: whenever I read several books in a short time, I see common themes arise in interesting ways.

The larger lesson of my happiness-in-reading experience is that it reminds me how easy it is to neglect the things that make us happiest. A friend told me that he loved to fish as a child; that he now lived a block from a fishing stream; that his wife had bought him a rod for his birthday. And yet he hadn’t found time to go fishing since he moved. This is craziness! Make time for it.

My happiness-project scoring sheet includes two entries: “read better” and “follow up my curiosities.” Because I now give myself credit for reading something for fun, I’m much better about doing it (I’ll do anything for a gold star).

Of course, a big part of the fun of the Happiness Project is that what I want to read and what I ought to read are usually the same. For example, this month’s theme is memento mori , or "Remember you must die" (I'm trying to think of a better phrase, but no luck so far), and I’ve been very interested in reading memoirs by people who survived catastrophe, divorce, illness, a child born with a disability, and the like. I checked out a big stack from the library just this morning.

Also, a sense of accomplishment is an important element of happiness. When unpacking last night, I made a stack of the novels I read while we were away, and I got a real jolt of pleasure by seeing the good reading that I’d done. In the past, I would have barely registered the emotion, but these days I’m trying to pause to revel in any flash of happiness.

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For a while, I've been meaning to mention a great blog, Never Eat Alone. Lots of interesting material there on strengthening business and personal relationships. I had a special fondness for it because the author, Keith Ferrazzi, was at Yale when I was there, and then when I visited today, he has a post featuring words of wisdom from my former wonderful boss, Justice O'Connor. Check it out.

Comments

[meatbrain]

Read the latest half dozen entries in the Never Eat Alone blog, and added it to my Google Reader account. Thanks!

[Self Help]

Good post and all your post are very interesting, keep going. I have found your blog here. http://curtrosengren.typepad.com/occupationaladventure/2006/06/the_happiness_p.html/

[Monogram Momma]

How honored I feel that you stopped by my blog and left me your calling card. I Love your blog and I can't wait for you to publish your book. You have such important messages and are so inspiring! So today I'm going to do something creative, as that's what truly makes me happy. Y

[Monica Ricci]

I love to read too, but just as you said, I find that I am only reading business books these days. The thing it, I don't mind it. I really don't feel drawn to read fiction anymore. Not that I wouldn't enjoy it. I just don't seem that interested in it. I'd much rather read something by Jack Canfield or Wayne Dyer or someone like that. Plus, I do a lot of internet reading, and I enjoy that. That's more like reading for information rather than entertainment though. ~Monica

[Cara]

Great post! I neglect doing what makes me happy as well. I have a hard time sitting down with good fiction and losing myself in stories without feeling guilty. Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it some leftover Puritanical mindset that we don't deserve to be happy? I know I often feel that way many, many times.