In which a visit to the Indian Consulate gives me a chance to practice some principles.

This morning I had a good opportunity to put my happiness-project principles to work.

I need a visa for a trip to India next month, so I went to the Indian Consulate with my paperwork. I took my number and sat down to wait my turn. I’d forgotten to bring much to read—in violation of one of Life’s True Rules: “Always have plenty to read”—so I had little to occupy my attention.

My first impulse was to figure out every single way in which time was being wasted. Why wasn’t a person working the line, to help people figure out if their paperwork was ready for processing? If that woman knew her number was 78, why was she still sitting far across the room as Mr. 77 was finishing up? And why did so many people leave the things they needed—their passports, their money, their photos—at the bottom of their purses and knapsacks, instead of having everything organized and ready to go?

I indulged in these kinds of thoughts for a few minutes, then realized what I was doing. One of my resolutions is to “find an area of refuge” in my mind; that is, to dwell on serene thoughts instead of brooding and fussing.

So I dragged my mind out of irritation, and tried to follow another resolution: “turn complaints into gratitude.” So I thought about how grateful I was: that the room had chairs, so I didn’t have to stand; that the Internet had allowed me to download the forms I needed in a flash; that the line was moving fast; that the Indian Consulate was so convenient to my apartment, just a nice walk; that I could pick up my visa in as little as an hour, if I wanted to wait.

Instead of picking apart the system, I just enjoyed the little mini-dramas of the room. I eavesdropped on two women who were going on exotic trips. I watched a couple fussing over their baby. I had a nice conversation with the woman sitting next to me, who told me all about my destination of Udaipur (and also told me how to pronounce it correctly).

Could I have kept up this attitude for two hours? I doubt it. But it made my forty-five minute wait much more pleasant.

Comments

[Hester]

Your story really rings a bell with me - I am always the person thinking, "I could organise this FAR more efficiently" and wriggling in my chair with impatience... I will try to be zen and in the moment next time this happens!

[Gretchen Rubin]

I love Salman Rushdie, so will definitely look for the story. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm going to Chennai for a wedding, then Udaipur. Should be wonderful, I'm very excited.

[Ariane from NeatLiving.Net]

What a FABULOUS "reframe"! I'll have to try that bcecause I do the same thing!!!

I can always see how things could be more efficient. When I need to reframe in situations like that, sometimes I try to imagine all the possible reasons for the chaos so that I can bring out my compassionate side. so I'll think things like, I wonder if someone called in sick, I hope they are okay. Or maybe they had to leave because they had a sick child.

I do the same thing in traffic, it so easy to get angry when people do stupid things...so I imagine that the person going really slow in the fast lane must have gotten a ticket or been in an accident recently. Or maybe they had their license suspended and they are scared to get stopped again. I imagine they have sick children. If someone is driving fast and crazy, I imagine they must be getting home to a sick loved one or worse have to ge tto the hospital. I know it's a bit morbid...but from there I start to feel gratitude for all the ways my life is ok!

Have a wonderful trip to India!!! What better place to visit while working on the Happiness Project??

[Bebek]

"Come what may, Time and the Hour runs through the roughest day."
MacBeth

[emilie]

Weird timing: I just posted a piece on how to air travel with babies (& keeping your dignity) particularly on international flights. Check in if you're bringing the girls...

[Gretchen Rubin]

Happily for me, this trip is just for adults. That's one way I can make a possibly tough airline trip easier: just remind myself, I might have been travelling with children. But I will check out your site for future reference. Thanks!

[meatbrain]

I am reminded of a story my ex-wife emailed me a few weeks ago, about my youngest son getting his driver's license. Names have been changed to protect the comedian...

"We went into the license bureau and it was set up in this massive room with rows of chairs facing an L shaped counter where the bureaucrats worked and scolded people. There were about 70 people waiting in those chairs and it appeared they had been there for eons. We had to check in and get a number. Kurtis's number was 1 so we figured that there were 100 total numbers and he was the start over. Sure enough in a few minutes they called 75.... So we waited and waited and more people came. When they called 100 - Kurtis got all excited. Then they called 1. Kurtis jumped up from his chair - held his number over his head and announced in his loudest and best drama taught voice - I AM NUMBER 1! There was a shocked moment of silence and then a hearty laugh from everyone in the room, including the bureaucrats. The woman who helped us was so much friendlier than she had been to previous customers and she chatted with Kurtis about his plans for the future. When the woman who took his picture handed it to him she told him that he had given her a laugh and brightened her day. For better or worse, he was encouraged."

[nandita]

Hi!
I live in Mumbai, India. If there is any info you need on your travel, I shall be glad to help.
Regards
N

[Gautam Chaudhury]

Hi,
I am located in orissa, I am ready to help.pl contact,
Gautam Chaudhury
babuni47@yahoo.com