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  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • The best reading is re-reading.
  • Outer order contributes to inner calm.
  • The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  • You manage what you measure.
  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they're fake, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« This Sunday: a quote from Marilynne Robinson. | Main | If you're in the mood to read recent studies about happiness... »

Happiness, sleep, and daylight savings time.

Everywhere I’ve gone today, I’ve noticed that people have been exceptionally cheery, patient, and courteous.

When I dropped the Big Girl off at school, I noticed that many more parents than usual were already there when the door opened to let the children inside—instead of making a mad rush to get there on time.

Why? I think I know.

Daylight_savingsDaylight Savings Time.

Everyone in New York City, everyone, had an extra hour of sleep before starting their week this morning. And it shows. People are feeling better. And no wonder -- an estimated 63% of American adults fail to get eight hours of sleep a night. Eight hours sounds like a lot, doesn't it? But that's the recommended amount.

I’ve certainly realized that for myself, getting enough sleep is a critical element of happiness.

At first, I thought sleep just mattered for my comfort: not having to drag myself out of bed, not losing steam in the middle of the afternoon.

But now I see that getting enough sleep, or not, has far greater consequences.

First, if I don’t get enough sleep, I try to stay in bed a little longer in the morning. If I get up at 6:45 a.m., we all have a calm, relaxed morning; if I get up at 6:55 a.m., we all have a frantic, chaotic morning. And a bad morning sets a course for a bad day.

If I don’t get enough sleep, I’m more likely to lose my temper, to be snappish. That’s unpleasant for everyone. Plus, I feel guilty for behaving that way, which makes me all the more ill-tempered. So I behave even worse.

Another bad effect of being sleepy is that it makes me feel less like exercising. As studies have demonstrated over and over, exercise is extraordinarily important to happiness. So I don’t want to do anything that keeps me from going to the gym.

And even though you'd think that sitting in front of a laptop, typing, isn't a very ennervating way to spend your day, it takes a suprising amount of energy. When I don't get enough sleep, I find myself putting my head down on my desk like a little kid in grade school.

The problem is that it takes a lot of discipline not to stay up too late. Those last hours of the day are precious to all of us. TV addicts use TiVO to squeeze in one more show. Work-a-holics want to finish just a few more emails. Parents relish the peace and quiet after the kids are asleep. Foodies grab a late-night snack. Readers want to finish just one more chapter.

I’ve finally figured out some ways to help myself go to sleep earlier.

First, I try to get ready for bed (brush my teeth, take out my contact lenses, wash my face) before I’m actually ready to turn out the light. I realized that, paradoxically, I was often staying up too late because I was too tired to get ready for bed. Also, putting on my glasses has an effect like putting the cover on the parrot’s cage. It cues me to go to sleep.

I also try to be smart about what I’m doing before bedtime. I can't do anything that actively engages my brain.

I can’t work on email. I can’t read happiness research, which requires me to think analytically. I can’t read anything that’s too engaging. Last week it took me hours to get to sleep for two nights in a row. When I tried to “identify the problem,” I figured out the culprit: my book. I was so intensely engaged by the dozens of fascinating arguments in Judith Rich Harris's The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do that I couldn’t turn my brain off, even after I put the book down.

One thing that does put me in a soporific mood is to walk around the apartment, tidying up. Putting things in order is very calming; having myself organized for the next day helps clear my mind; and doing something physical makes me aware of being tired. I look forward to lying down and stretching out. If I’ve been reading or watching TV in bed for an hour before turning out the light, I don’t get the same feeling of luxurious comfort.

Sleep is important to general health, which is very important to happiness. Getting enough sleep also helps keep the immune system active and even might be, some studies suggest, a critical aspect of weight control.

I'm determined not to squander that extra hour, but instead, to keep getting to bed on time every night. Maybe I'll even be an hour ahead by the time "spring forward" comes in six months.

*
Like getting enough sleep, I’ve learned that clearing clutter gives a big happiness boost.

This month, Atlantic Monthly’s “Word Fugitives” column published people’s suggestions for a term for dedicated clutter-clearers like me, a term to stand as the opposite of “pack rat.” I thought they were hilarious: a wouldchuck, yield mouse, let-gopher, heave-homemaker.


Comments

Along those lines, I just read a fascinating article in the LA Times about the importance of sleep to health.

http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-sleep9oct09,0,3650596.story?coll=la-home-headlines

I really enjoy reading your posts, and I hope they don't end on 12/31!

I totally agree, tho too much sleep doesn't work either. Actually I find myself working harder havin slept 6 hours than after 8 hours of sleep. Fact is that I just seem to be lazier sleeping longer (especially longer than 8 hours).
Anywayz, I read this article the other day about energy and happiness you might find interesting: http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/10/optimist_cures_.html

P.S. We just started a blog about happiness...drop by if you feel like it ;)

hehe comments yay i am evil muhahahahahahahahahahah not really i just felt like leaving some random comment hehe

Gretchen

Thanks for bringing sleep to the attention of your readers. A refreshing night's sleep can be a big problem for the bed partner of a snorer. Snoring can be a relationship deal breaker as well forcing couples into separate bedrooms. Second hand snoring can be a health hazard as well.

For the snorer, a new study has shown that loud snoring itself can have devastating consequences. An article published in March, 2008 stated that loud snorers had 40% greater odds of having high blood pressure, 34 % greater odds of having a heart attack and 67 % greater odds of having a stroke than people who did not snore.

Snoring is also very common in a disease called obstructive sleep apnea which is related to heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, depression and even ED.

As strange as it seems, dentistry can play a major role in recognizing and treating both snoring and sleep apnea. Dental devices that reposition the lower jaw in a forward position keep the airway open at night.

More information on this can be found at www.quietsleep.com and www.snoringisntsexy.com.

Dr. Barsh

Gretchen

Thanks for bringing sleep to the attention of your readers. A refreshing night's sleep can be a big problem for the bed partner of a snorer. Snoring can be a relationship deal breaker as well forcing couples into separate bedrooms. Second hand snoring can be a health hazard as well.

For the snorer, a new study has shown that loud snoring itself can have devastating consequences. An article published in March, 2008 stated that loud snorers had 40% greater odds of having high blood pressure, 34 % greater odds of having a heart attack and 67 % greater odds of having a stroke than people who did not snore.

Snoring is also very common in a disease called obstructive sleep apnea which is related to heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, depression and even ED.

As strange as it seems, dentistry can play a major role in recognizing and treating both snoring and sleep apnea. Dental devices that reposition the lower jaw in a forward position keep the airway open at night.

More information on this can be found at www.quietsleep.com and www.snoringisntsexy.com.

Dr. Barsh

If the totem animal for people who hoard stuff is the pack rat, then the one for clutter clearers should be the cuckoo! It does build its own nest but lays its eggs in other birds' nests--obviously because it prefers a clutter-free environment. :)

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

9Rules

  • 9rules

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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