What Started Me Thinking

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

If you're in the mood to read recent studies about happiness...

BookstackOn the last day of each month, I include a list of happiness-related suggested reading.

As you've probably noticed, there has recently been an explosion of books applying science to the study of happiness. Quite fascinating.

Of course, one of the points of the Happiness Project is that I will read all these books and figure out what actually works in practice, so you don't have to plow through this reading yourself -- but here are some suggestions, if you want to forge ahead. It's great stuff.

Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Why the Meaningful Life is Closer Than You Think
Daniel Nettle, Happiness: The Science Behind Your Smile
David Lykken, Happiness: The Nature and Nurture of Joy and Contentment
Gregory Berns: Satisfaction: The Science of Finding True Fulfillment
Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less
Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness
Martin Seligman, Authentic Happiness
Kahneman, Diener, Schwartz, Well-Being: The Foundations of Hedonic Psychology

Comments

"How We Choose to Be Happy" by Foster and Hicks is also an interesting read. It's all about the choices we make.

Gretchen, seeing your suggested reading list reminds me that I've been meaning to thank you for leading me to "A Pattern Language" by Alexander et al. I thought I would turn to it as a reference book occasinally, but it's really fascinating and hard to put down. For me it's turning into one of those life-changing, turning-point kind of volumes. And it's something that I would never in a million years have picked up on my own. Thanks so much!

Gretchen:
I noticed that your October focus was to try Hypnosis - did you?

By the way, I'd add 'What Happy People Know: How the New Science of Happiness can Change your Life for the Better' by Baker and Stauth to your list.

Thanks for these additional suggestions, I'll check them out.

So glad to hear from another fan of A Pattern Language! I agree, it is an extraordinary book, not like anything else. It makes me so happy to have helped another reader find it.

Yes, I did try hypnosis. I went once, got a tape, still listening to it 4 or 5 days a week. I haven't decided yet whether I think it's working. Stay tuned!

You really should add Daniel Goleman's new book Social Intelligence to this list. Remarkably optimistic.

Great fun Gretchen, thanks for your comments! Other tips include to always Focus On How You Want To Feel, Avoid the Fault Finding Feel Goods and Live According To Your Aspirations, Not Your Inclinations.

We never feel better by focusing on how badly we feel.

See "How To Live A Happy Life - 101 Ways To Be Happier" for additional insights to live a happy, spiritually successful life.

Nice list. There's a video of Barry Schwartz online where he explains his theory why choice makes us miserable. And whether one agrees with it or not, like most TED talks, it's a great piece of ten-minute edutainment and inspiration:
http://www.ted.com/tedtalks/tedtalksplayer.cfm?key=b_schwartz&flashEnabled=1

Just came across this and immediately thought of this blog/project - thought you might be interested: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061126/ap_on_he_me/be_happy_1

Thanks for the pointer to the book The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. I'm only on p. 43, but it's a fascinating read, and packed with information that really makes you think.

There was a BBC series a couple of years ago called "Making Slough Happy". I didn't pay much attention at the time, but spotted the associated book - How to be Happy by Liz Hoggard - in the library this week. Haven't finished reading it as yet but I can certainly recommend it based on what I've read so far. (http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Be-Happy-Making-Slough/dp/0563493208/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/203-0117819-2485535?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1190065050&sr=8-1)

I am reading Johnathan Haidt's book right now, and it is off to a tremendous start. Very readable so far. Seligman's work I find useful overall, but he is not a writer by trade. I also enjoyed Happiness: Lessons from a New Science by Layard, lots of solid social psychology in there. Stumbling on Happiness was really interesting. Of course it has the somewhat sobering theme of social psychology that we are terrible at predicting what decisions and events will make us happy. The upside is that we, on average, are very good at manufacturing happiness after the fact, even when circumstances are grim.

Taking a great class right now at Harvard Extension.

The professor is Tal Ben-Shahar whose book, Happier, is the text book.

It's an online class, and I would recommend it to anyone in the world!

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.


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