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My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« Pretend you're in jail. | Main | Remember to cut people slack: a reminder about the fundamental attribution error. »

This Wednesday: Tips for getting more reading done.

Bookstack_1Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Tips for getting more reading done.

One of my resolutions is to “read more.”

Reading is essential to my work. It's an important part to my social life. And far more important, reading is my favorite thing to do, by a long shot. I’m not a well-rounded person.

A friend once told me, “My idea of a good weekend day is when I’m outside with my kids for two hours before lunch and two hours after lunch.” I answered, “My idea of a good weekend day is when we all lie around reading in our pajamas until the mid-afternoon.”

But reading takes time, and there aren’t many days when I can loll around with a book for hours. Here are some tips for getting more reading done.

1. Quit reading. I used to pride myself on finishing every book I started. No more. Life is short.

2. Use TiVO. It’s amazing how much more efficient it is to watch TV shows on TiVO. You skip the commercials and control when you watch.

3. Skim. Especially when reading newspapers and magazines, often I get as much from skimming as I do by a leisurely reading. And I skip almost all stories about crime or celebrities (though I must confess I read every word written about the Brooke Astor scandal).

4. Read books you enjoy. When I’m reading a book I love—for example, I just re-read Muriel Spark’s brilliant The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie—I’m astonished by how much time I find to read during my day. Which is another reason to stop reading a book I dislike.

5. Get calm. I have a sticky note posted in our bedroom that says, “Quiet mind.” It’s sometimes hard for me to settle down with a book; I keep wanting to jump up and take care of some nagging task. But that’s no way to read.

6. Any book is better than no book. Sometimes I feel like I should be reading one book when I actually feel like reading something entirely different. Say, Frances Hodgson Burnett’s T. Tembarom instead of Kahneman, Diener, and Schwartz’s Well-Being: The Foundations of Hedonic Psychology. But now I let myself read what I want, within reason, because otherwise I end up reading much less.

7. Limit time spent watching televised sports. Reclaim some of these hours.

8. Always have something to read. Never go anywhere empty-handed.

9. Maintain a big stack. I find that I read much more when I have a pile waiting for me.

And here are some thoughts on readings from a few great readers from the past:


Randall Jarrell: “Read at whim! Read at whim!”

Henry David Thoreau: “Read the best books first, otherwise you’ll find you do not have time.”

Samuel Johnson: “What we read with inclination makes a much stronger impression. If we read without inclination, half the mind is employed in fixing the attention; so there is but one half to be employed on what we read.”


*
Aargh, my email was hijacked today by some spammer. I only know because I keep getting "message undeliverable" notices. If you recently got an email from me about a weight-loss drug, I'm sorry!

Comments

I download and listen to audiobooks. That way you can keep moving and do things things as you listen. And it helps pass the time as I exercise or ride my bike. Audiobooks.com is a good service.

Enjoy your blog!

Whoops, sorry. I meant audible.com.

Good tips.

Life is short.

I've combined [3.skim + 7. less televised sports] by just looking at the headline page of www.news.google.com a few times per day. Then I click through to any stories (including sports or celebrity gossip) which catch my eye. Thus eliminating the need to read newspapers, listen to TV news or radio news.


I've also taken out a subscription to the Guardian Weekly newspaper (a left-wing bias admittedly) and hence take my newspaper reading in one weekly burst.

I do cheat a bit on what I've just written and watch a bit of TV news if there's been a story where I think I need to see some vision.

Now, if I could just cut down on my 8 hours per week reading blogs online, I could read several more books.

Wonderful tips! I love reading and can lose myself for a whole day in a good story. What do you do, however, when your spouse thinks that reading is a huge waste of time? That's the nagging bit that often makes me stop reading all too soon.

The best way for me to increase my reading is to cut down on typical morning activities including (paradoxically) (1) reading the newspaper and (2) checking email. I think these are low-value, immediate-gratification kinds of reading activities compared with reading books.

Also, I find that a little time investment pays off when it comes to having good things to read. I've started paying more attention to book reviews so that I know what to look for at the library or bookstore. I dread not having anything good lined up!

“My idea of a good weekend day is when we all lie around reading in our pajamas until the mid-afternoon.” - and I thought me and my partner were the only ones... :) Good to know there are more folks like us. Enjoy our blog!

I just stumbled across your blog and it looks like good stuff. I wanted to comment on your #8 - I've been doing that for literally as long as I can remember! Not specifically for reading, though, though I love to read: I do that more to not have stretches of interminable boredom, stuck in traffic or in a boring class (college student) or whatnot. Great tip!

On #2 and #7: you can save even more time for reading if you lose the television habit altogether!

Have all you bibliophiles out there tried Library Thing yet? Ah, tis a lifesaver for us! And it's free up to 200 books and el-cheapo for more. Makes that "now, do I own that book by Gretchen Rubin or did I check it out from the library?" musing obsolete. It's fast and addictive, too, what fun!

www.librarything.com

"Kahneman, Diener, and Schwartz’s Well-Being: The Foundations of Hedonic Psychology." Yeah I had problems with that one as well! You want to read it because it's the key text in happiness. But reading it makes you unhappy! Sort out that paradox.

You quote Henry David Thoreau: “Read the best books first, otherwise you’ll find you do not have time.” And then you read Harry Potter? How do you justify this?

Thanks boys84d8ebc3189d84460d5f321d96a55704

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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