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My Twelve Commandments

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • The best reading is re-reading.
  • Outer order contributes to inner calm.
  • The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  • You manage what you measure.
  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they're fake, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« This Wednesday: tips for boosting your energy level. | Main | What makes a birthday happy? »

My second podcast! On being a more light-hearted parent.

This is podcast #2, about being a more light-hearted parent. I have to say that this is an area that I've been working on A LOT during this year, and it has really paid off. There's a lighter, happier atmosphere in our house, and I'm happier because I'm not acting like such a harridan (most of the time).

Some readers reported that the volume on my first podcast was so low that they couldn't hear it. I think I've figured out how to fix that, but let me know if it's still a problem.

Enjoy!

Download HP-02-061213.mp3

December 13, 2006 |

Comments

Hi Gretchen,

I just discovered your blog and I can't wait to dive in and get to know you and more about your happiness project. I started blogging about 5 months ago about design and creative living and I have been fascinated to discover how much happier I am just by the process of blogging. I'm going to list you on my "morning coffee visits" because I think your blog will be so interesting and inspiring to my readers. I love this. k

Posted by: kstyle | December 13, 2006 at 08:19 PM

>I think I've figured out how to fix that, but let me know if it's still a problem.

I had a problem with the volume of the previous audio but the new mp3 file is fine.

Posted by: Alison Chaiken | December 14, 2006 at 12:09 AM

Hi Gretchen,

I really enjoy your blog each day...keep up the great work!

I'm not sure if you've got this far in learning about podcasts, but have you looked into the process for publishing the podcast so that a person can subscribe to it through the iTunes application?

Thanks, Tom

Posted by: Tom | December 14, 2006 at 08:42 AM

I really appreciate your blog. Great second podcast. While I'm not a parent, I think these tips hold true for a lot of other social interactions! Thanks again - this may actually be my favorite blog. And I spend way too much time reading blogs! :-)

Posted by: Jessica | December 14, 2006 at 01:35 PM

Excellent Podcast Gretchen! My energy has been so low and I've been reacting in C form with my son. Your podcast reminded me that I want to be thoughtful and intelligent even when I'm tired.

Thank You and Merry Chistmas,
Lawrence

Posted by: chaoticcricket | December 26, 2006 at 05:46 PM

Hi Gretchen: Just got caught up with your blog. Had to say it has helped me. Thanks!
Been going through a particulary bad patch -5 funerals in 7 weeks! A couple of your statements have helped me a lot - "don't keep score", "learn to frame a response in the affirmative" and "no more junk food." That last didn't help with the funerals, but I like it!
Thanks,
John

Posted by: John Campbell | January 03, 2007 at 09:39 AM

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

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What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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