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My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« Are you eating enormous portions without even realizing it? | Main | Do you keep making the same vow over and over? »

This Wednesday: Tips for staying in control of holiday eating.

HolidaytreatsEvery Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday…Tips for staying in control of holiday eating.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my eating habits lately—probably because the holiday season is so full of temptation.

Here are some guidelines that I’ve been trying to follow, with various degrees of fidelity.

1. Wear snug-fitting clothes.

2. Buy food in small containers. Studies show that people give themselves larger portions out of larger boxes, so I don’t buy that economy box of pretzels.

3. Make tempting food inconvenient—put cookies in a hard-to-reach spot, set the freezer to a very cold temperature so it’s hard to spoon out ice cream, eat wrapped Hershey’s kisses instead of M & Ms.

4. Order the appetizer size.

5. Use smaller plates, bowls, and cutlery. I often use the Little Girl’s little plastic Disney Princess plates.

6. Dish food up in the kitchen, and don’t bring serving platters onto the table (except vegetables).

7. Pile my plate with everything I intend to eat, and don’t get seconds once that food is gone.

8. Keep serving sizes small: get a small frozen yoghurt instead of a large; get a single hamburger instead of a double.

9. Skip the add-ons: tell the waiter that I don’t want the side of fries, don’t add croutons or bacon to my salad. I feel like Sally from "When Harry Met Sally" as I quibble about how my food should be served, but oh well.

10. After dinner, signal myself that “Eating’s over”: brush my teeth, clean up the kitchen, turn out the lights.

11. Don’t allow myself to get too hungry or too full.

12. Realize that, with some things, I can’t have just a little bit. It’s far easier for me to skip cookies, bagels, and chocolate than it is to have a sensible portion.

13. Never eat hors d’oeuvres.

I've realized that although it seems festive and carefree to indulge in lots of treats, in the end, I feel guilty and overstuffed. Which doesn't make the holiday happier.

*
Today I came across the blog Positive Sharing, written by Alexander Kjerulf, a/k/a the "Chief Happiness Officer." He recently posted his book HAPPY HOUR IS 9 TO 5 on his blog--I haven't had time to take a look at the book yet, but his site has lots of great information about how to be happier at work. I can't wait to dive in and see what's there.

Comments

I love the too frozen to eat refrigerator idea for ice cream. I will have to remember that one. All good tips. k

I recently came across this common sense, low-fi approach to managing one's weight;

http://www.nosdiet.com/

D

I like you.

Hi Gretchen,

This doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your Wednesday post, but I thought I would share this. The Economist (my employer) has a cover story on happiness that I think you might find interesting. I've included a link to the editorial on the subject - http://www.economist.com/opinion/displayStory.cfm?Story_ID=E1_RQVDDPV

Enjoy!

You need a subscription to read the link, but fortunately, I do subscribe. I haven't received my copy of this issue yet, but a friend called to tell me that happiness is on the cover. That kind of news always makes me panic -- will everyone be tired of the subject of happiness by the time my book comes out? Oh well. I have to hope that it's a topic of perennial interest. Thanks for sending that along to me.

And thanks Audrey Hill for that succinct and very nice message!

Thank you again for interesting link to Alexander Kjerulf, a/k/a the "Chief Happiness Officer."

May the good energy and happiness spread in this holiday season and throughtout New 2007 Year to all who read this blog and especially to you Gretchen and your family! Your acts of sharing and kindness have spread far and made many people happy - I with my dear ones are in your debt.

I hope you will continue with this blog even when the year of the book is ended on 31.12 (or is it 12/31)!

I just found your blog ... via ... huh? I've lost it. Maybe kiddley.com? Anyway, I came to you by your Tips for Passing Time with Kids. (Great, BTW.)

When I investigated further and found this entry, I thought you'd want to know about Christine Kane's blog about "Nervous Food." -- http://christinekane.com/blog/?p=107

Thanks!

D, I do the No-S diet too. Though it's a little much to call it a "diet" - it's more a sensible set of habits that you can live with.

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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