My Photo

My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

Featured by Typepad

StatCounter2


Sitemeter

HitTail.com

« Would I tire of the view and the light? | Main | In which I continue to fight my bosom enemy. (One of them.) »

This Wednesday: Tips for holiday shopping.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Tips for holiday shopping.

Yes, I know, I should have posted this list about four weeks ago. After each Christmas, I remember all the tips that I should've used to make my shopping easier. By the time the next Christmas rolls around, I've forgotten all my hard-won lessons. But not this time. I'm making a list, and checking it twice next December.

Here are my tips for holiday shopping--the ones I managed to follow did make my life a lot easier.

1. Keep a list. Starting in September, start keeping a written list of gift ideas.

2. Ask for suggestions. We all love the thrill of buying that perfect, unexpected gift. But it's such a rare pleasure; so often, surprise gifts don't work. It's okay to ask people what they'd like to get.

3. Ask questions. When people suggest gifts for themselves, make sure you know exactly what you'll be looking for. My father asked for socks. It wasn't until I was in a department store that I realized I didn't know much about his sock preferences. I knew he didn't want a pattern, but what length? what texture? thin or thick?

4. Make a call. If you're planning to make a special trip to pick up a particular item, it really pays to call first to make sure the store carries it.

5. Encourage collections. If people collect something, you can always buy the perfect gift. My mother buys me a Christmas ornament from an Alice in Wonderland series (this year: the Jabberwocky). The only trick is keeping track.

6. Carry your list. That list you've been working on for months? Don't leave it in your desk at the office.

Comments

As an agoraphobic, I avoid stores, so online shopping has made my life much easier. I did purchase some stocking stuffers at Target, but beyond that, I did all my shopping online. My kids each have a wish list in Amazon, but I ignore those--they're for people without imaginations (e.g., their fathers). I get my kids what I know they'll love but they didn't ask for. I hate receiving presents, so I only get one or two from my mother (who isn't retrainable about not giving me presents). I give the kids money to select presents for each other, and they enjoy that. I only purchase presents for my kids and my mother, so this system works for me.

If you keep a planner/journal/notebook of some kind, you can keep a running list all year of gift ideas. You can do this for yourself, too, so when other people follow tip 2, "ask for suggestions", you don't have to say, "uh...I can't think of anything...ask me later!"

Not a bad idea to keep year 'round, no? It will work for birthdays too!

Not only is it ok to ask, you can still ask and surprise them by asking several months in advance.

I take this a step further and ask right AFTER Christmas. Yay PDAs :-)

If you like to give surprise presents, ask someone close to the recipient. S/he can often wheedle ideas out of the person without being as obvious.

Post a comment

If you have a TypeKey or TypePad account, please Sign In

Check out my one-minute movie.

Want to get my monthly newsletter?

Your email address:


Powered by FeedBlitz

My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

My books

Google Search

  • Google Search
    Google

    WWW
    happiness-project.com

Technorati

Quantcast