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My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« Thoughts on someone else's happiness project--a bike-based project. | Main | Does watching TV make us happy? »

A quiz—are you at risk of dropping out of your new exercise program?

Hamster_1Every Wednesday is Tip Day (or occasionally quiz day).
This Wednesday: A quiz—are you at risk of dropping out of your new exercise program?

Exercise is a key component of happiness. If you want to boost your happiness, one of your top priorities should be adding exercise to your day. I take a yoga class twice a week and a strength-training session twice a week, and I know that my regiment contributes a lot to my happiness.

I asked my two instructors if, when a new person approached them, they could detect whether that person was likely to stick with the program or drop out.

They both agreed that there are warning signs. So take this quiz. If one of the statements below sounds like the kind of thing you’d say, beware. You may need to make a special effort to stick to a program.

Check off any statement that sounds like it could have come out of your mouth:

“This time, I’m really going to stick to it! I mean it, I’m totally, 100% committed!”

“I’m potentially thinking that maybe I might join this class.”

“Well, afternoons don’t work. And I can’t do mornings. I can come Tuesdays at noon, but not this Tuesday. Or next Tuesday...”

“I’ll squeeze it in at lunchtime. I can just run out between meetings.”

“I have to start tomorrow. No delay!”

Nevertheless, both instructors agreed, people often surprise them. They seem like they might not stick to it, but then they hang in there.

Six months is an important milestone; if you can keep up a new program for six months, it becomes part of your normal routine.

Also, you’ll probably have better luck maintaining an exercise program if you focus on the benefits you’ll get in mood, energy, and focus. If you tell yourself that you’re only exercising to lose weight, you’re more apt to drop out.

If you've having trouble finding a program that works for you, buy a pedometer and aim for 10,000-12,000 steps a day.

Comments

Gasp! I'm totally #3.

The hamster picture is hilarious.

My downfall has been making very aggressive exercise plans, figuring that if I hit 75% of them I'll still be in okay shape. But just missing any of them makes me feel guilty and plan to "go even bigger" next time, and my plans grow and grow until they're overwhelming and unappetizing and I drop out altogether.

I'm (only just) discovering that I'm more likely to fully execute a workout plan if it's reasonable or even *less* than I think I "ought" to do. Because then I know that if I miss I'm really dropping the ball - and I really make them a priority. (And if I want to ramp it up gradually later, at least I'll be in the habit of fulfilling my plans. This is my theory, anyway.)

I don't think I need to take the above quiz to know if I'm at risk to drop new exercise program or not. Just give me 3 months, the longest time I can stick to an exercise program... then I'll do a complete 180 degrees backflip, go ballistic and completely REFUSE to do any at all... It's happened times and times again... Don't know why... But I keep crossing my fingers...here's to hoping.

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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