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If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • The best reading is re-reading.
  • Outer order contributes to inner calm.
  • The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  • You manage what you measure.
  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they're fake, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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Comments

Amazon.com really deserves the success they've received. They have been very innovative.
Sounds like the help for the negative side of "hedonic adaption" is very conscious gratitude, and maybe it would help with "negativity bias", too.

Amazon.com makes me happy too. The only time Amazon made me unhappy was when I looked through the extensive lists of items I purchased from them and realized how much I've spent there each year. Lately, I've tried purchasing groceries a few times. Amazon has bulk items, free shipping on orders over $25, fast-enough service, and you don't have to pay a membership fee or travel to a store. Considering all of that, the prices are good enough too.

I look forward to reading your blog every day--thanks for doing this. Judy

Alas, I've just had a very bad interaction with Amazon.com. Up until that point, I practically sang their praises to everyone I could. They have amazing service until something goes wrong and then everything unravels. The dilemma I have now is where to go if I can't use my wonderful Amazon? It is going to take me a while to find a worthy replacement but after the abysmal "customer service" experience that I just had, I HAVE to find a replacement.

I have been delighted by the inexpensive used books available on Amazon. But, I know what you mean about the negative reviews. If people are going to write reviews, I wish they would review the quality of the book in the context of what it is trying to accomplish, and not by one's fickle expectations. So often I read negative reviews like "I thought this book would be about... but it is really about... so I'm giving it one star." If it doesn't meet one's expectations, that doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad book. Taking the time to write a thoughtful review will be a help to others considering the book.

Gretchen, I'm so glad to hear about someone else enjoying Cloud Atlas. It's one of my favorites, although all of Mitchell's work is stunning. If you're enjoying Cloud Atlas, you might also try Michael Cunningham's Specimen Days. Cunningham's a New Yorker, so the flavor is different, but the structure is quite similar. Specimen Days draws on some of Whitman's affirmative poetry (e.g., "For every atom belonging to me, as good belongs to you") for one of its narrative threads, and I love seeing how those lines reverberate throughout the history (and future) that Specimen Days offers.

Hi Gretchen,
I feel the same way about Flickr that you feel about amazon. It is a breathtaking and addictive site. I truly savor my visits there where such creativity resides. And on another note I would love to have a link on your blog. It would feel like such a nice connection. I'm not good at asking but I'm trying to get better about this. I did ask for links in a birthday post and was so surprised by the positive reaction. I love the connection part of blogging. For me I think it is at the heart of why I do it. Thank you and I have so enjoyed The Happiness Project. k

Gretchen, I love the term Hedonic adaptation! It is precisely what I was describing today when working with a client in her condo. Thanks for giving me a term I can use!
~Monica

Ok, I'm off to buy Specimen Days from Amazon. That's the only Michael Cunningham book I haven't read, so pleased to get to that at last. And then I will review them both!

Ha! Kstyle beat me to it. Flickr is my Amazon, too. I feel very strongly about hedonistic adaptation and fight it regularly. Isn't it why "French Women Don't get Fat?"

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

9Rules

  • 9rules

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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