The happiness of making a purchase--a real form of happiness or not?

This morning I read the New York Times article, “The Voices in My Head Say ‘Buy It!’ Why Argue?”

The piece discusses how the brain activity of “tightwads” differs from that of “spendthrifts.” No surprise—turns out that spendthrifts respond with more pleasure to the prospect of spending money, and tightwads respond with more pain.

I took particular interest in this topic, because I don’t think the happiness experts have paid enough attention to the pleasure of buying.

When discussing the relationship between money and happiness, happiness experts generally emphasize that because of the “hedonic treadmill,” we adapt to whatever we’ve bought, and any particular purchase ceases to bring us much additional happiness.

So, if you move to a bigger house or buy a new pair of boots—in time, you become accustomed to your new possession, and you’re no happier than you were before.

I think that this analysis oversimplifies things a bit…and it also overlooks the fact that many people make purchases for the jolt of happiness they get from the very act of purchasing.

Now, you might say—that’s not true happiness; true happiness comes from flow/being in the moment/doing good for others/pleasure isn’t the same thing as happiness/…etc., etc. Fair enough. But from what I’ve observed, I think that many people get a feeling that looks a lot like happiness from buying stuff.

I also think that the pleasure of buying is distinct from the pleasure of possessing.

That’s why some people have closets filled with clothes that still have their tags.

That’s one reason it’s fun to be a grandparent. You see a silly rainbow crazy straw in the drugstore, and for some reason, you just want to buy it. You’d have no excuse—except that it’s perfect for your grandchild!

And some people buy lots of gifts not so much out of generosity, but because they love the excuse to buy.

So to say that hedonic adaptation means that “money can’t make you happy” ignores the fact that a boost in happiness can come right at the moment of acquisition.

Of course, the happiness that comes from buying is fleeting. And maybe it's not a very laudable kind of happiness. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not real—or that it doesn’t shape people’s behavior.

I rarely get this feeling, myself. I’m usually hit by dread and buyer’s remorse when I spend. Perhaps that’s why I really notice other people’s enthusiasm.

This issue touches on the question of does money buy happiness? And that’s a very complicated subject. But I believe that the answer, in a nutshell, is this: It depends.

It depends on the kind of person you are. (Do you have a passion for collecting art or for renting movies?)
It depends on how you spend your money. (Is your money buying cocaine or college?)
It depends on how much money you have relative to the people around you, and relative to your own experience. (Are you richer or poorer than most of your friends and family? do you have more or less than you did in the past?)

That’s not a simple answer—but, as Albert Einstein remarked, “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.”

Comments

[Monica Ricci]

This is sooooo part of my world. Many people end up with an over-accumulation of stuff from what I call "sport shopping". There are many reasons for it -- loneliness, boredom, an emotional void, a compulsive disorder, addiction to a "buying rush" or any number of other reasons. Whatever the cause, these people often become clients because they need help dealing with their stuff and the chaos their buying habit creates.

My goal is to help them re-invent their relationship with shopping so they're able to be more deliberate and thoughtful when then enter into it each time, and are able to think past the moment of purchase.
~Monica (sorry to be so windy!)

[Donna]

Very interesting! I do love slow, careful, deliberate shopping. It's almost as much fun as the actual purchase, debating what I could buy. That's why I love internet shopping sometimes, because I can really drag that out. Occasionally if I decide to treat myself to something, I will take a few weeks filling mock shopping carts, trying to decide what I really want. And waiting for it to ship draws out that pleasure even further.

[chris]

Once my salary allowed to buy (most of) the stuff I "wanted", I noticed that the feeling of "I can if I really want to" gives me just as much pleasure as really buying.

IMO happiness that comes from doing things like buying (or loosing weight or doing intensive sports or... or... or...) is problematic in that you will have to repeat the act to recreate the feeling. And sometimes repeating is not enough - it needs to be increased to get the same level of satisfaction again.

[Inihtar]

I think the idea of shopping for pleasure/happiness is more a western idea than a universal one. Having lived in a developing country, I can say with reasonable certainty that the concept of buying something you don't particularly need so it can bring temporary happiness is not very prevalent among the less westernized there--even if they have enough money. And so, not much of a cause for displeasure either, if they can't afford it. Whereas in Western societies, those who can't afford to shop for pleasure, but can meet their basic needs, still feel like they lack something.

[Sara in Austin]

Something else to consider is the happiness that comes from shopping. For many of us, it's similar to a visit to a museum or a treasure hunt. The browsing, however, is distinct from the buying. (I can spend hours in a store, put some stuff in my basket, and then walk out empty handed.)

[peter vajda]

It's also a matter of "who's buying." If it's consciously or unconsciously controlled by my emotionally and spiritually immature, needy, deficient-feeling, little self, searching for something "out there" to provide happiness, to "fill me up", that's one thing. If buying is a function of one's emotionally and spiritually mature self, that's another. The intentionality and the subsequent energy of the buying experience, differ on the basis of "who's buying".
The difference between "having" and "happy" is one of the most difficult lessons for folks in Western culture to learn.

[Sharyn]

Money is just money. It's a tool. It can buy unhappiness, too.