My Photo

My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

Featured by Typepad

StatCounter2


Sitemeter

HitTail.com

« The happiness of making a purchase--a real form of happiness or not? | Main | The happiness of going to a Barry Manilow concert. »

Tips for making phone calls that you don’t want to make.

Telephone_1Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Tips for making phone calls that you don’t want to make.

We’ve all had the experience of having to make phone calls that we dread making.
Here are some tips to get yourself through these calls as painlessly as possible:

The night before, make a list of the calls to be made, along with names, phone numbers, and any other necessary information.

If you’re making some kind of pitch or argument, rehearse in your mind what you want to say. Have an outline to make sure you hit the important points once the call begins.

If you want to set up appointments, have some convenient times in mind.

As soon as you get to your desk in the morning, pick up the phone and start dialing. No procrastinating, or you may never begin.

Stand up while you talk.

Smile and use a friendly tone.

If you have more than one call to make, don’t hang up the phone when the first call is over. Keep the phone at your ear and use your finger to disconnect the call.

Don’t let yourself be hungry, hot, cold, or in need of a bathroom when you’re calling.

Keep good records on when you called, whether you left a message or spoke to someone, and what was said.

If you leave a message, repeat your name and phone number twice, and also leave an email address as an alternative communication route. Keep your message as brief as possible. No chit-chat on voice-mail!

If you have bad news for someone, don’t shilly-shally with small talk.

Comments

Good topic - and surprisingly relevant to happiness. Phone calls are one of those deceptively simple tasks that can create an inordinate amount of angst when left undone.

Sometimes I also "dress" for important/nerve wracking calls as though it were in person. I do much better on the phone in a business suit and smart shoes than I do in my flannel jammies and bunny slippers.

I'm late in discovering it, but I love your project. Looking forward to seeing what it all turns into (in print).

Oy, how much do I hate talking on the phone? The phony-phone voice, the fact that I have to write myself a script beforehand, the nerves that bubble up for something as stupid as making an appointment. It's embarrassing, really: that such a little thing turns into such a major production. But I'm so glad that other people have similar issues. I love your project - such a worthwhile goal, happiness!

I have a hard time making calls from work to my doctors, partly because I'm not crazy about going to the doctor, partly because I feel a little guilty for making any personal calls from work. But there are some appointments I really need to make.

I feel motivated to make this one call tomorrow, one I've been putting off for months.

Thanks for this post!

i keep on calling but my lover in uk does not reply my always says i wil call but very much douts ful n possessive busy with his job n money suggest me

I have an idea to achieve happiness: write a self-indugent, vacuous book on the subject. Fill it with platitudes and common sense aphorisms that anyone but a complete fool would be thoroughly familiar with and then sell this self help idiocy for lots and lots of money. Then take a vacation. You won't have to travel South where the sun shines. Just stretch out and bask in the warmth of self congratulatory praise for deluding yourself into believing that what you've done is something intelligent and worthwhile.

PS A question: if you are "struggling to be Gretchen" who the hell are you right now?

I just want to tell you that I love this blog! I only found it a few days ago. I will be lining up for your book, believe me.

Is it just me or is Peter Barss comment make him seem like a jerk. Just because I take joy in reading this blog doesn't make me an idiot. There are many things that people forget day to day and we need people like Gretchen to remind us from time to time. It's sounds stupid but many people do need to be told to be happy. She is Gretchen but not the Gretchen that makes her completely happy. I have to tell myself to be well myself sometimes. Be real be you. Great blog. I'm an avid reader and not a dumb one either.

I hate making phone calls, even to make an appointment to cut my hair.

One thing I love about blogs is that if you find one that you don't like, you can just go on to the next.

I hate making phone calls, even to make an appointment to cut my hair.

One thing I love about blogs is that if you find one that you don't like, you can just go on to the next.

Thanks, mother in israel, for reminding me.
Let me make haste while the sun shines to do just that.

Post a comment

If you have a TypeKey or TypePad account, please Sign In

Check out my one-minute movie.

Want to get my monthly newsletter?

Your email address:


Powered by FeedBlitz

My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

My books

Google Search

  • Google Search
    Google

    WWW
    happiness-project.com

Technorati

Quantcast