What Started Me Thinking

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Tips for making phone calls that you don’t want to make.

Telephone_1Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Tips for making phone calls that you don’t want to make.

We’ve all had the experience of having to make phone calls that we dread making.
Here are some tips to get yourself through these calls as painlessly as possible:

The night before, make a list of the calls to be made, along with names, phone numbers, and any other necessary information.

If you’re making some kind of pitch or argument, rehearse in your mind what you want to say. Have an outline to make sure you hit the important points once the call begins.

If you want to set up appointments, have some convenient times in mind.

As soon as you get to your desk in the morning, pick up the phone and start dialing. No procrastinating, or you may never begin.

Stand up while you talk.

Smile and use a friendly tone.

If you have more than one call to make, don’t hang up the phone when the first call is over. Keep the phone at your ear and use your finger to disconnect the call.

Don’t let yourself be hungry, hot, cold, or in need of a bathroom when you’re calling.

Keep good records on when you called, whether you left a message or spoke to someone, and what was said.

If you leave a message, repeat your name and phone number twice, and also leave an email address as an alternative communication route. Keep your message as brief as possible. No chit-chat on voice-mail!

If you have bad news for someone, don’t shilly-shally with small talk.

Comments

Good topic - and surprisingly relevant to happiness. Phone calls are one of those deceptively simple tasks that can create an inordinate amount of angst when left undone.

Sometimes I also "dress" for important/nerve wracking calls as though it were in person. I do much better on the phone in a business suit and smart shoes than I do in my flannel jammies and bunny slippers.

I'm late in discovering it, but I love your project. Looking forward to seeing what it all turns into (in print).

Oy, how much do I hate talking on the phone? The phony-phone voice, the fact that I have to write myself a script beforehand, the nerves that bubble up for something as stupid as making an appointment. It's embarrassing, really: that such a little thing turns into such a major production. But I'm so glad that other people have similar issues. I love your project - such a worthwhile goal, happiness!

I have a hard time making calls from work to my doctors, partly because I'm not crazy about going to the doctor, partly because I feel a little guilty for making any personal calls from work. But there are some appointments I really need to make.

I feel motivated to make this one call tomorrow, one I've been putting off for months.

Thanks for this post!

i keep on calling but my lover in uk does not reply my always says i wil call but very much douts ful n possessive busy with his job n money suggest me

I have an idea to achieve happiness: write a self-indugent, vacuous book on the subject. Fill it with platitudes and common sense aphorisms that anyone but a complete fool would be thoroughly familiar with and then sell this self help idiocy for lots and lots of money. Then take a vacation. You won't have to travel South where the sun shines. Just stretch out and bask in the warmth of self congratulatory praise for deluding yourself into believing that what you've done is something intelligent and worthwhile.

PS A question: if you are "struggling to be Gretchen" who the hell are you right now?

I just want to tell you that I love this blog! I only found it a few days ago. I will be lining up for your book, believe me.

Is it just me or is Peter Barss comment make him seem like a jerk. Just because I take joy in reading this blog doesn't make me an idiot. There are many things that people forget day to day and we need people like Gretchen to remind us from time to time. It's sounds stupid but many people do need to be told to be happy. She is Gretchen but not the Gretchen that makes her completely happy. I have to tell myself to be well myself sometimes. Be real be you. Great blog. I'm an avid reader and not a dumb one either.

I hate making phone calls, even to make an appointment to cut my hair.

One thing I love about blogs is that if you find one that you don't like, you can just go on to the next.

I hate making phone calls, even to make an appointment to cut my hair.

One thing I love about blogs is that if you find one that you don't like, you can just go on to the next.

Thanks, mother in israel, for reminding me.
Let me make haste while the sun shines to do just that.

Thanks for this information. I thought I was alone in having difficulty making phone calls, even ones that are for my benefit.

I like this site.

I have such a dread of making phone calls, even to people I love. I kid myself that writing is more personal. It's not a fear, it's just something I hate and stress over. Thanks, I thought I was the only one on earth. Good luck on your book, can't wait to read it. Lonniej56

Love this entry - I procrastinate phone calls like MAD - even though its a key part of my job!!!

Thanks as ever Gretchen!

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.


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