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My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« Today’s prosaic secret to happiness? Long underwear. | Main | In which I learn a new and useful happiness term: mis-en-place. »

Eight tips for sparking your creativity.

PaintEvery Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Eight tips for sparking your creativity.

I’ve read a lot of advice about how to spark creativity. Everyone’s creativity takes a different form, however, so the advice that works varies a lot from person to person.

For example, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be efficient and productive. One of my struggles is to allow myself to spend time on activities that don’t pay off in some direct way. Creativity often involves play, digression, exploration, experimentation, and failed attempts; it doesn’t always look productive.

These are the strategies that work best for me:

1. Taking notes. I have a compulsion to take notes as I read. I write down quotations and bits of information that catch my interest. In fact, all my book projects have really been ways to justify taking the notes that I most wanted to take. I used to fight the urge to take notes that weren’t related to a specific project, but no longer. All this note-taking is time-consuming, but in the end, highly satisfying. Along the same lines, I…

2. Follow my interests. Why do I keep reading more and more about St. Therese of Lisieux? I’m not sure, but I’m not stopping myself. Instead of staying focused on what I “ought” to be doing, I allow myself to wander—by buying an odd book, poking around the internet, or exploring an unusual place.

3. Allow myself the “fun of failure.” This catchphrase has made a HUGE difference to me. I’m very ambitious and want to succeed at everything I try, and that makes me very anxious—which isn’t a creative frame of mind. Telling myself that I can enjoy the “fun of failure” has made me more light-hearted about taking risks. For example, I failed in something this very afternoon. I have a shocked, slightly sick feeling, but I keep repeating to myself, "Hey, it's the fun of failure!" I think it's helping.

4. Buy supplies. I don’t like making purchases—especially when they seem purposeless—but in keeping with my resolution to “enjoy a modest splurge,” I encourage myself to make an occasional creativity-supporting purchase. A few months ago, I bought a beautiful set of magic markers and an oversized pad of drawing paper. For some reason, I just craved them. And indeed, when I got home, I sat down for a spell of…

5. Idea-mapping. This is a process of writing down ideas in a way that helps you see new relationships and possibilities. I begin with a symbol or word in the center, and then map out my associations with that word—using single words and colored pens to keep the ideas vivid and clear. I’ve done this lately when I get stuck on a happiness question. By mapping out my ideas, I get a new kind of insight into my own thoughts.

6. Read random magazines. Every once in a while, I pick up several magazines that I would never ordinarily read. It’s surprisingly interesting and useful. And I love the feeling of possibility that I get whenever I browse in one of those stores that carries 500 different magazines.

7. Gather ideas. I was fascinated to read in Twyla Tharp's Creative Habit that when she has a new project, she starts a cardboard file box to collect all the materials that inspired her—everything from a toy to a CD to a photograph. The first thing she puts in is a slip of paper with a stated goal for the project—something like “keep it simple” or “something perfect” or “tell a story.” “Everything is raw material,” she writes. “Everything is relevant. Everything is usable. Everything feeds into my creativity. But without proper preparation, I cannot see it, retain it, and use it.” I gather my ideas with my notes, but some people's ideas couldn't be distilled in a computer document.

8. Keep a scrap-book. Okay, I haven’t done this yet, but will start RIGHT NOW. A friend once told me, “Whatever activities you enjoyed when you were ten years old, you’d probably enjoy now.” Throughout my childhood, I spent hundreds of hours on scrapbooks. And I have some great, colorful happiness material that I’d love to pull out of a file and arrange in a book. Why have I procrastinated? I bought a suitable book a year ago (see #3), but just haven’t started it yet. Off I go, this minute --



Comments

Thank you, Gretchen! This post gets printed out and stuck on my newly conceived "inspiration board." I saw Tharp's box idea a while back, clipped the article, and stuck it in a drawer somewhere, hence forgetting all about it. I love all these ideas. Keep up the good work!

that is a great list. i try to help my kids remember #3 all the time. it is ok to fail. it's just another way that doesn't work.

I like #3 a lot. I took a Sumi-E class over the weekend. My dragonflies look like ink blots and my fish are looking rather avant-garde, but the teacher got us over the "blank page" block.

As for #8. My biggest complaint about scrapbooks is that they are less scrap then photo album. I think people worry to much about what they look like that they tend to dread working on them. Worry less about die cuts and brads, more about timeliness and juxtaposing ideas.

I've just started checking out sites like
http://www.inspiremethursday.com/ and http://www.illustrationfriday.com/, and I'm participating in http://www.bealivebelievebeyou.com/create/
in order to make sure to carve time out for creativity.

Some thoughts to pass on:

1. You're not supposed to be able to do everything perfectly. That's what the learning process is for, and it generally involves some failure. Often a lot of failure. This is GOOD.

2. "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron seems to really help some people be more creative. The morning pages are especially good, I think.

3. I don't make scrapbooks, per se, but I do gather bits and pieces of life into composition notebooks. When I go on a trip, I pick up whatever strikes my fancy and slap it down and tape it in. Yes - tape. I'll wait for the gasp of horror at it's non-archival quality. OK, there we go. It's a way to keep the stuff from piling up and I can enjoy it more readily. Composition notebooks are cheap. The committment level is pretty low, which appeals to me.

When I teach creativity classes, getting people to just DO seems to be the hardest thing. Just DO and enjoy!

I love "the fun of failing" -- it reminded me of one of my current mantras: "it's ok to fail in obscurity" (from Jason Fried's presentation last year at SXSW). I find if you can cultivate that sort of attitude, even with a serious project, you can have a lot more fun with it (and it often turns into a more creative work, because you say "why not?").

Re: Point # 3

I don't do New Years Resolutions, I do "Theme Years," and one year my theme was "Doing Things I Was Bad At."

I did karaoke when asked, I took a pottery class (always sucked at it in high school), participated in sports I was terrible at...

It was a great year. Because you do things expecting to be awful, your expectations are so low, they're astonishingly stress-free and relaxing and you take more chances, because what's the difference. And if by fluke you do something well it's a huge bonus. Plus people enjoy your company because, frankly, everybody likes a friend they can outshine now and then.

I did the following year doing "Things I Was Afraid Of," and that's a whole additional story - but also a great theme.

I don't have a theme for this year - need one. Ideas?

I'm so glad to hear that other people have found "the fun of failure" useful. It's hard to let go of the idea of reaching for perfection, and it's hard to be bad at something -- but we're right! It's a necessary stage! I tried Morning Pages and thought they were great, but couldn't keep up the work. Also, I can't read my handwriting so it all seemed like a waste (though I know the process of writing is what's important, not the re-reading). I LOVE the idea of the theme year. A friend of mine has themes like that -- "Dark 03" "Travel 04" "Network 05" etc. And my sister did that for a while "Hot Body 2002" "Hot Wheels 2003" (like me, she was afraid to drive, but got over it). Doing things you were afraid of -- zoikes. I incorporated that into the Happiness Project, but didn't devote the year to that. Very brave. Did it make you happy? for this year, I recommend the theme of "Happier." Now I'm off to check out those creativity sites...

#3b) Jump in, regardless of that fear of failure. :)

I'm hosting a quickie Valentine's Day card PIF (pay it forward) over on my blog. I officially invite you to come and play.

Great post Gretchen. Creativity for me is like the glass I work. Some days it just seems to flow so readily and easily and others the resistance is palpable. Maybe tuning in to the creativity is the key. k

Regarding your strategy #5 (Idea-mapping), there is a fun website called Bubblus (http://www.bubbl.us/) which helps you easily draw, print, and save idea maps.

Regarding your strategy #5 (Idea-mapping), there is a fun website called Bubblus (http://www.bubbl.us/) which helps you easily draw, print, and save idea maps.

To avoid losing "great ideas" for future, unwritten books or projects:

(1) when I'm reading something, I mark interesting quotes with a pencil; on the last blank page I keep in an index that just lists the page numbers I've marked something so that one day I can go back and find it easily

(2) when I overhear wacky things or have clever ideas, I write them down on separate pieces of paper, for eventual filing .... the trick is to write each thing on a separate piece, otherwise it gets lost amidst errand lists, stray phone numbers, etc.

I love your blog. I decided to stop after reading many of your posts to let you know. Awesome work! Thank you.

I appreciate all of the ideas about creativity I have read within. I take a lot of notes, from my reading,and they are critical to enhancing the generation of ideas. But for me, creativity is a mindset, independent of notes or reading. Most of my truly creative thoughts come from listening; to music I love, an active appreciation for beauty, nature, intense dialogues, and the need for truth. Often, I listen to music and view great works of art. I observe leaves responding to the wind. I gaze at cloud formations. I notice the gradations of colors and shades in the light at different times of the day. I note the play of children. I have observed the incredible range of expressions and attitudes that people express. Creativity may well be no more that seeing, what is, but for the first time. I am not attemping to devalue the methods or processes that lead to insight,I employ them myself, only merely to suggest their true import. I kindly offer these thoughts for your consideration.

I love your thoughts on creativity! I had heard of the vision board, where you cut out and paste pictures just because you like them, and then look for what keeps showing up. This is great to do with friends. Just grab a bunch of mags. and they will support you in your vision!

I also think this article is great for spurring creativity by stopping the beat up on ourselves:
http://www.successtelevision.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=166&Itemid=29

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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