What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

My Secrets of Adulthood -- each one changed my life, once I figured it out.

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Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Secrets of Adulthood.

What have I learned, with time and experience? Not much, I fear.

Here are my Secrets of Adulthood. Although these items may not seem particularly profound, each one was a revelation when I finally figured it out:

The days are long, but the years are short.

Someplace, keep an empty shelf.

Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.

It's okay to ask for help.

You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.

Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.

What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.

You don't have to be good at everything.

Soap and water removes most stains.

It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.

You know as much as most people.

Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.

Eat better, eat less, exercise more.

What's fun for other people may not be fun for you -- and vice versa.

People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.

Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.

If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.

No deposit, no return.


Comments

It's not what you know, it's *when* you know it.

My friend sent me some of your ideas on being happy and we both agree there is a lot of common sense to them! I think I'll definately remember about the house plants :) This is a great blog and I'm glad my friend introduced me to it. Thank you! Mel

Thanks for your blog. It is very inspirational.

I especially liked this secret, "Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch."

If more people did this I bet there would be a lot of happy IT people. ;-)

Thanks for your blog. It is very inspirational.

I especially liked this secret, "Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch."

If more people did this I bet there would be a lot of happy IT people. ;-)

I loooove Tip Day! All your blogs are awesome and this one is no exception. I agree with all of them.
Here's another one that has helped me out in adulthood--"It's better/easier to admit when I don't know the answer to something." For some reason, most of my life I have thought that it was better to provide some sort of answer when asked a question.
For example, my Big Man might ask "Is there a Brooks Brothers store in such and such mall?" Whether I know for sure or not, my previous response would've been like, "I think so b/c I think I remember seeing a sign that says such and such..." Wrong! He would much prefer that I say, "I don't know." What a relief! I don't have to know everything. Simply admitting that I don't know takes the onus off me and avoids the risk of getting it wrong, which would piss him off a lot if he went to that mall and didn't find the store there. Anyway, that's my big adult revelation and a liberating one at that.
Thanks for always having such useful info on your blog!

My favorite:

"Buy whatever you want in the grocery store. It's always cheaper than going out to eat."

And it's TRUE!

These are all great. Michelle I, your tip is spot on! And that example you give is classic.

One of my personal faves is, "Don't expect things to be different unless you do things differently." When I find myself on the verge of launching into a rant or getting stressed, I remind myself of this truth.

This one particularly resonates with me: "You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do." After beating myself up for over a decade for not having the willpower and mental discipline to like the career my parents dictate that I should have, I finally admitted that positive thinking will never make a size 13 foot fit into a size 5 shoe.

Here's a rule I learned the hard way: If one acts in a manner that is inconsistent with one's nature, one will fail.

Remember always Lincoln's favorite phrase:

This too shall pass.

Makes a lot of sense, whether your on top, on the bottom, or somewhere in between.

I said this to somebody else recently, but this realization changed *my* life:

I'd rather regret doing something than regret *not* doing something.

These are great to read, especially on a Friday morning. One tip I would add that I try to live by is (and this is especially good for those in their 20's just starting out as "adults") don't try to hard to be an adult. Don't worry about having a "perfect" home that looks like an adult home. Don't worry about having every dish done every morning before you go to work. And it's ok to still do crazy, silly things because you are never too old for those.

My mom said, "You're washable."
My dad said, "Too much of anything is bad for you."

"Pithy, clever comments are a pain in the ass."

I have been beating myself up for not succeeding in some difficult projects, but this line is totally inspiring me to work harder: "If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough." Thank you!

Boy! What's Ed's problem??

Here is another tip that I try to stick to even though it is sometimes hard for me to do so: "Do not postpone today's work until tomorrow".

your secret of Adulthood -- each one changed my life, once I figured it out is nice blog and its of great kind of information's.
your small kind of helps are of great worth.
so keep sharing your knowledge with all.
secrets of childhoods reminds me my childhood too.
thanks for the share.

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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