My Secrets of Adulthood -- each one changed my life, once I figured it out.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Secrets of Adulthood.

What have I learned, with time and experience? Not much, I fear.

Here are my Secrets of Adulthood. Although these items may not seem particularly profound, each one was a revelation when I finally figured it out:

The days are long, but the years are short.

Someplace, keep an empty shelf.

Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.

It's okay to ask for help.

You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.

Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.

What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.

You don't have to be good at everything.

Soap and water removes most stains.

It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.

You know as much as most people.

Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.

Eat better, eat less, exercise more.

What's fun for other people may not be fun for you -- and vice versa.

People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.

Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.

If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.

No deposit, no return.

Comments

[J Cauchy]

It's not what you know, it's *when* you know it.

[Mel]

My friend sent me some of your ideas on being happy and we both agree there is a lot of common sense to them! I think I'll definately remember about the house plants :) This is a great blog and I'm glad my friend introduced me to it. Thank you! Mel

[DW]

Thanks for your blog. It is very inspirational.

I especially liked this secret, "Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch."

If more people did this I bet there would be a lot of happy IT people. ;-)

[DW]

Thanks for your blog. It is very inspirational.

I especially liked this secret, "Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch."

If more people did this I bet there would be a lot of happy IT people. ;-)

[Michelle I]

I loooove Tip Day! All your blogs are awesome and this one is no exception. I agree with all of them.
Here's another one that has helped me out in adulthood--"It's better/easier to admit when I don't know the answer to something." For some reason, most of my life I have thought that it was better to provide some sort of answer when asked a question.
For example, my Big Man might ask "Is there a Brooks Brothers store in such and such mall?" Whether I know for sure or not, my previous response would've been like, "I think so b/c I think I remember seeing a sign that says such and such..." Wrong! He would much prefer that I say, "I don't know." What a relief! I don't have to know everything. Simply admitting that I don't know takes the onus off me and avoids the risk of getting it wrong, which would piss him off a lot if he went to that mall and didn't find the store there. Anyway, that's my big adult revelation and a liberating one at that.
Thanks for always having such useful info on your blog!

[Michael]

My favorite:

"Buy whatever you want in the grocery store. It's always cheaper than going out to eat."

And it's TRUE!

[JW]

These are all great. Michelle I, your tip is spot on! And that example you give is classic.

One of my personal faves is, "Don't expect things to be different unless you do things differently." When I find myself on the verge of launching into a rant or getting stressed, I remind myself of this truth.

[Cara]

This one particularly resonates with me: "You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do." After beating myself up for over a decade for not having the willpower and mental discipline to like the career my parents dictate that I should have, I finally admitted that positive thinking will never make a size 13 foot fit into a size 5 shoe.

[Joseph]

Here's a rule I learned the hard way: If one acts in a manner that is inconsistent with one's nature, one will fail.

[Chris Yeh]

Remember always Lincoln's favorite phrase:

This too shall pass.

Makes a lot of sense, whether your on top, on the bottom, or somewhere in between.

[TasterSpoon]

I said this to somebody else recently, but this realization changed *my* life:

I'd rather regret doing something than regret *not* doing something.

[MassDreams]

These are great to read, especially on a Friday morning. One tip I would add that I try to live by is (and this is especially good for those in their 20's just starting out as "adults") don't try to hard to be an adult. Don't worry about having a "perfect" home that looks like an adult home. Don't worry about having every dish done every morning before you go to work. And it's ok to still do crazy, silly things because you are never too old for those.

[caoin]

My mom said, "You're washable."
My dad said, "Too much of anything is bad for you."

[Ed]

"Pithy, clever comments are a pain in the ass."

[LS]

I have been beating myself up for not succeeding in some difficult projects, but this line is totally inspiring me to work harder: "If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough." Thank you!

[Just me]

Boy! What's Ed's problem??

[Aspiring Spirit]

Here is another tip that I try to stick to even though it is sometimes hard for me to do so: "Do not postpone today's work until tomorrow".

[Jude]

I'm not going to lie: I laughed out loud when I got to "Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of work". I can kill ANYTHING indoors, and I have a huge messy drawer of photos from 25 yrs of shooting at nothing that I love to dive around in.

[KH]

"Discover the power of calm... there is no rush." Calmness is truly powerful - try to start noticing it! =)

[tlc]

Anything that looks really easy is hard.
Anything that looks really hard is easy.

It is easier to move from good performance to great performance than it is to move from poor performance to good performance.

[Paula]

Don't be a slave to the telephone. Just because a phone rings does not mean it has to be answered and ALWAYS turn it off when taking a nap or meditating. If the call is really important they will leave a message and you can always call them back when YOU are ready to talk. Caller ID is also wonderful.

[West Palm Beach Joe]

here's a great tip for getting anything done.
it really works well on large, sometimes overwhelming projects that your having a hard time finishing...break it sown to 'steps' and every day complete at least 'one step', more if your 'in the mood'. Everyday you will get closer to the completion of your project.

[Rebekah]

My Dad says: Don't let the Bastards get you down.
My Mom says: A little tollerance goes a long way.

[Julie]

Parting advice from my mom when I left for college:
1. Never go to the grocery store hungry
2. Avoid buying clothes that are white or dryclean only (and especially white *and* dryclean only)
3. Save string
4. For each new thing you buy, you must get rid of something

I still don't really understand #3 (especially in conjunction with #4)

[Aaron]

There are transaction costs associated with almost everything. Just accept this as fact, and you'll stress a lot less.

[Debbie]

Never get on an airplane hungry.

[Maria]

There's a Jewish tradition to carry a slip of paper in each pocket. On one is written: The world was created for me, & on the other: I am but dust and ash.

[Schanen Yates Unser]

Curious if you've read the book, "How to Ruin Your Life" by Ben Stein? Classic, short and very funny read and full of 'how NOT to be happy' advice..

[Annaly Curzon]

Dive in. Even if you don't do it perfectly, you're making progress.

[Paula Williams]

My mom always said: "LIfe is too short to be unhappy."

[Sasa J]

Dream as though you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow.

[Suzie]

When you find a t-shirt or a pair of pants that fit perfectly, buy lots.

[Tracey]

The best secret of adulthood I ever learned came from my best friend's mother:

"It's none of your business what anyone else thinks of you."

This has served me in several VERY gossipy workplaces.

[Teri Pittman]

"Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch."

I call this one "Rebooting fixes many problems". It works for most electronics as well.

[Susan]

1. When in doubt, do without
2. Tomorrow always arrives, no matter how late you stay up
3. Marriage and children are not for everyone

[Mary Margaret]

Here's what I learned and taught my kids:

The Secret of Life is a good night's sleep.

[Ben]

Never post a letter in the evening (because by the following day you'll probably wish you had said something slightly different).

[KC]

Only worry about things you can do something about; if you can't do anything about it, stop worrying about it. If you CAN do something about it, do it, then stop worrying about it.