Tip: Don’t let the PERFECT be the enemy of the GOOD.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Tip for not letting the PERFECT be the enemy of the GOOD.

Voltaire is the great thinker responsible for the observation, “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”

I’ve found this precept to be extremely useful with my happiness project. Instead of pushing myself to an impossible “perfect,” and therefore getting nowhere, I accept “good.”

This sounds sensible enough, you’re thinking, but how does it actually work in real life? Here are some examples:

-- I floss sometimes. Not every day. Sometimes.

-- I don’t push myself in exercise. I have friends who, I suspect, secretly scoff at my mild work-out routines. But because they never exercise except to push themselves to the max, they never go, and I’ve been exercising consistently since high school.

-- I don’t call, I email. When I told someone about my April resolution to send my friends birthday emails, he said, “But you should call! A call is much better.” True, I admit. But I hate the phone, and I won’t call. But I will send an email.

-- I send out Valentine’s cards with the girls’ photo, instead of trying to mail cards in December. People seem to like getting a card for Valentine’s Day, and it’s so much easier to deal with the task once Christmas is over.

-- For everyday, at my dermatologist’s recommendation, I wear a sunscreen of SPF 15 or 30 on my face and neck. It’s light enough to put on easily, while creams with a higher SPF are so goopy that it’s tempting to skip putting them on. Better SPF 15 (which is 88% effective) than no SPF at all.

-- When I read magazines, I skim and skip. Otherwise old issues pile up everywhere and make me feel guilty and overwhelmed.

Comments

[Jennifer]

As an newsletter editor for a volunteer organization, I learned that "good enough is good enough"!

Funny, I am good at applying that to the volunteer part of my life but not the other parts. I will try this!

[Lee]

This is stellar advice. Very similar to what Joe Rich wrote in "Parenting: the long-journey," (I'm paraphrasing horribly) where he says to strive for "better" in lieu of "perfect." Perfect is too far away and too hard to reach. Better is right in front of you.

It's like that 80% rule that people talk about, where 80% of the value comes from 20% of the effort. How much effort do you waste on essentially meaningless things, in order to get them to 100%?

[Allison]

I was lucky to stumble on a book called "The Conscious Bride" when I was first engaged last Fall. It talks about the "quest for perfection" that can consume a bride as they plan their wedding... something that is generally a way for brides to find a sense of control as they grapple with the difficult emotions of getting married.

In my planning, I have limited my choices to two or three florist, caterers, photographers, etc. And I purposely avoid using the word "perfect" to describe anything about the event. All of which has helped me stay sane! It has also freed my thoughts to think more about my feelings and emotions, which has allowed me to be more connected with the experience.

Your blog is great! Thank you!

[Bob]

This is analagous to the terms used in cognitive pyschology - maximize and satisfice. Maximizers tend to search for the very best and belabor decisions. They are more likely to be disappointed. Satisficers spend less time making decisions and are happy with their choice regardless if some other 'better' outcome becomes apparent. Research shows satisficers are happier than maximizers.

[Michelle Potter]

Thank you for this tip! When I read it yesterday I thought, "Gosh, I never do that." But then today I was going through my reminders program getting rid of some unnecessary items and I started to get rid of a couple because "When that reminder comes up, I often don't get around to it anyway." But then I realized -- doing it SOMETIMES is much better than NEVER. So I left them in, thanks to you! :)

[kstyle]

Took me many years to get this and it's still a challenge but for me it's absolutely crucial to leave the perfect word out of my vocabulary. And you know I'm much more attracted to people who leave that word out also. k

[Monica Ricci]

This is SO often one of the things I help my clients with. Perfectionism is one of the biggest obstacles to action that I see. It's a fundamental mindset shift to "let go" the idea of perfection and accept "good enough". But it is really worth it!
~Monica

[Sandrine]

I love your blog! I agree with everything, Perfectionism is too stressful!
I could have written this post! Except for the floss bit; No cutting corners for me there! :)

[Ernesto Chaves]

Hi.
I like your idea, but watch out, your header says "report on what works and what doesn’t", i guess you mean what works and what doesn't for you. Just remember,happiness can mean a different thing for every single person of the world. And tips and theories are just that. Every human been must find his own true way to the true happiness. But i think i'll find reading your way very interesting.
Bye.

[Mal]

Good tips. Check out "The Joy of Laziness" for the laziest exercise routine. I don't think it applies to reading though. Would you read a magazine summary on happiness because Seligman's book is too long? Would you ask a friend about what might be the philosophical basis of happiness rather than reading Aristotle's NE? In these cases 'the good (or easy) becomes the enemy of the best'.

[nice_cup_of_tea]

Love this post and your project! Thanks

On my blog nice cup of tea I wrote today about this topic, telling the tale of the perfect suit :-) And referencing you...
http://nice-cup-of-tea.livejournal.com/330973.html

I also keep a list of 100 things that make me happy (without costing any money)
http://nice-cup-of-tea.livejournal.com/tag/favourite+things

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[Steve]

Great idea this book. We in AA and Al-Anon have the luxury of involvement in groups where encouragement to live these (similar) principles is the norm. Since our plight is often a life-or-death matter, we need something that absolutely works and thus we typically incorporate God/a Higher Power in all of this. There are some things we don't seem to be able to do on our own. In the end, nearly all of us realize that the God-factor is the prize we didn't know we were looking for.

[bella]

great post Gretchen. This has been my mantra for a while now, a supervisor said it a meeting a while back.

As a Queenslander (Australia), I do not advocate that anyone skimps on the SPF - especially if you are in a high UV exposure part of the world. Apply. Reapply. And Reapply some more :)

Don't forget to Slip! Slop! Slap! and Slide! :)

*Public Health Announcement Over*

[Lauren]

I just did a project on the most common and effective ingredients in sunscreen! Hopefully this will help...

To make sure you're being protected from skin damage, look at the active ingredient list on the bottle. A physical ingredient deflects and scatters the sun rays and a chemical ingredient absorbs the rays. The ideal sunscreen will have at least one physical and at least one chemical ingredient.

Two common physical ingredients are TITANIUM DIOXIDE or ZINC OXIDE.
The most common chemical ingredient is AVOBENZONE.

The higher the SPF, the better. Keep in mind, SPF only rates the protection against UVB rays (NOT UVA, the primary cause of skin cancer and wrinkles) so always check the active ingredient list. All of the ingredients mentioned above will protect from UVA rays.