What Started Me Thinking

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Today’s prosaic secret to happiness? Long underwear.

ColdA humbling fact about the happiness project is the many of the ideas that have made the biggest difference in my life are so...simple.

Take, for example, one of my Twelve Commandments: “Identify the problem.”

There have been so many instances where I’ve been unhappy with a situation, but didn’t take the trouble to analyze what was bothering me—and therefore, couldn’t take steps to fix it. Once I identified the problem, I saw the solution.

Here’s a humiliatingly obvious example.

I’m someone who is always, always cold. I’m often very uncomfortable in places that other people find perfectly warm. I have to be careful when I change the Little Girl’s diaper, because my hands are always icy cold. I’ve been known to wear a wool hat indoors.

One of the worst situations is a dinner where everyone is dressed up. The room is set to be a comfortable temperature for men wearing full suits, and I’m usually wearing a dress.

Finally, I thought – “Identify the problem.” I’m cold. How could I be warmer? Well, I could dress more warmly. How do I do that, if I’m wearing a sleeveless dress? I could wear a bodysuit. So I went to a lingerie store and bought a bodysuit (also fulfilling my resolution to “spent money to further my goals”). It’s astonishing how much warmth a bodysuit provides, without adding any bulk.

For the last week, New York City has been having a spell of extraordinarily cold weather. Instead of complaining (well, truth be told, in addition to complaining), I’ve taken steps to dress more warmly. I wear long underwear, two sets of socks, and my heaviest sweaters. This isn’t rocket science, but a few years ago, I doubt whether I would have thought to wear long underwear during a regular work day, no matter how cold it was. It just wouldn’t have occurred to me.

Every time I’ve managed to “identify the problem,” I’ve been able to arrive at least a partial solution. Why I need to make a special effort to notice a problem that’s bugging me, I don’t know—but following this rule has made a big difference.

Comments

Have you heard of Cuddl Duds? They're a brand of long underwear, but they aren't at all bulky like traditional long underwear is. I just found out about them from a friend, and they've significantly helped me with the cold weather!

I wear silk long underwear under work clothes-- got them from Lands End a few years ago. My coworker was shocked when I showed her how thin they are.

It's been cold in Philadelphia too!

How about those of us on the other end of the scale - always warmer than average? Especially in Houston (where it is very nice right now, but in about 2 months, it'll be hotter than a 2-dollar pistol).

The only solution I've been able to come up with is move to where it's cooler. On the other hand, my wife likes it here.

So, I guess I'm still on the "identify the problem" stage - is it the weather or my wife?

Dan

We so share the coldness gene. You should see me out in my garage studio trying to lampwork. I can barely walk I'm so layered with clothes including earmuffs. Check out the earmuffs on burrberry.com. They come in about 6 different burberry plaid combos and they are adorable. I always freeze at the movies where I can be found in long underwear, down coat, gloves and of course my "signature" ear muffs.I think I posted about the earmuffs on kstyle. k

I am very cold natured also and wear long underwear. One problem I have though is wearing long underpants with the low rise pants. Very awkward. The underpants come up to the waist and the pants around the hips. Not very sexy-looking, but warm. LOL

thicker pants too (moleskin) and flannel help.
I am guy, and laugh if you may but i found by far the best long underwear when skiing is ballet tights for men -they fit much better, are thin and warm and the foot adds an extra bit of comfort.

Dan, I'm in Houston too, so I'll let you in on the secret. The problem is neither Houston nor your wife -- the problem is that you go outside! This is why you have air conditioning in your house and car. Outside is just to have a pretty view when you look out your window. :D

I LOVE my CuddleDuds!! (and I'm always cold too, even living in Atlanta, so I have FINALLY learned to over-dress.
~Monica

I too am always cold when other people around me are warm and I too just made a wonderful purchase: an electric bedpad! The bedpad was a bit pricy, but the amount of enjoyment and comfort I got out of it the first 3 nights was already worth the money. A queen-sized pad comes with two controllers so the person on the other side can turn their portion off.

Yes. Exactly! I re-discovered long underweary last week when I went East for a family visit.

Okay, am I the only one who has ever taken cayenne capsules to get warm? It works! go to your local 'health food' store, 'Whole Foods'- whatever- and as for cayenne capsules. Take a couple and drink a lot of water and you'll be surprised how warm you feel in just a short time. Cayenne is actually great for improving circulation, high in Vitamin C, supports healing of ulcers, and more! Fabulous!

This is such a great commandment. I often find myself stunned by how simple the resolution to a problem is, once I've gotten around to thinking about it for two minutes!

"My office chair isn't comfortable. Hey! The seatback adjusts!" (This one took me more than 4 years.)

"I have two burnt-out lightbulbs in the ceiling and my smoke alarms haven't been up for months. Hey! Maybe I need a stepladder!"

"I have a terrible time getting up in the morning. I really need to be in bed by 10:45. Hey! Maybe I shouldn't watch any TV after 10 p.m.!"

Et cetera.

Long underwear and snowboots have been great for me too -- walking the dog in the freezing cold is fun now!

Love your blog!

The first thing that came to mind was: Have you had your thyroid checked? And don't just rely on the tests your doctor will prescribe - they aren't reliabe for most people. The best book on the subject, bar non, is "Living Well with Hypothyrodism: What your Doctor Doesn't Tell You...That You Need to Know" by Mary J. Shomon. It may well save your life down the road, as a properly functioning thyroid is so crucial to good health.

Sometimes being alot colder than others can indicate a need for medical evaluation. For instance,there might be an iron deficiency or a thyroid problem--both which can be corrected.

My birth mother was always cold even when everyone else was facing the fan just to be able to breathe.It was low blood pressure.She lived to be 92 but it was what killed her in the end.One side advantage of low blood pressure seems to be never losing one's cool.Tuula

Perhaps the temperature in the room should be raised so that the women are warm enough. The men can always remove their jackets. Now there's a problem.

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.


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