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My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« Struggling to "Be Gretchen" -- the new and improved version. | Main | I love the feeling that something exciting is going on, even if it doesn't affect me. »

Five tips for cutting calories without dieting—in fact, without really noticing.

AppledietEvery Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Five tips for cutting calories without dieting—in fact, without really noticing.

Most people would like to lose a few pounds, but no one likes to diet. Here are some tips that I’ve been following to cut calories out of my diet without feeling deprived.

1. I eat as many fruits and non-starchy vegetables as I want. No limits.

2. I put tempting food in an inconvenient spot. Research shows that people are far more likely to eat food if it’s easily accessible. In one study, a cafeteria with an ice-cream cooler opened its glass lid on some days, and left it closed on other days. Nothing else changed -- but when the lid was already open, 30% of diners bought ice cream, and when it was closed, only 14% bought ice cream. And the only difference was whether they had to open the lid!

3. I use smaller plates and utensils—sounds ridiculous, but research shows that these affect portion size. I often use the Little Girl's plastic Cinderella plates (though I can’t say I’ve gone as far as to use her little fork and spoon).

4. When I’m filling my plate, I put all the food I plan to eat on my plate at once, and I don’t allow myself seconds. This has made a huge difference in the way I eat. My previous habit was to take three lady-like helpings that probably added up to much more than one enormous serving.

5. I used to pick off other people’s plates constantly. No more. One bite of a grilled-cheese sandwich has 68 calories. Four French fries have 42 calories. A bite here, and a bite there, and I’ve eaten more calories than if I’d ordered dessert.

These are fairly easy, mild ways to cut calories. Next Wednesday, I’m going to list the more Spartan and controversial rules I follow.

If you like this approach—eating in a way that means you don’t have to diet—there are three excellent books that together make a great eating plan: Brian Wansink’s Mindless Eating, Lisa Young’s The Portion Teller, and Rolls and Barnett's Volumetrics.

*
Ririan Project is a blog with a lot of great material on "personal development." I dislike that phrase, and every substitute I could think of, but can't come up with anything better. Lots of numbered tip list for fans of tip lists (like me).

Comments

Hi, i inveted a diet that works with me. Its good for people that dont like to eat green vegetables.

Our university, Claremont Graduate University, is just announcing the world's first Doctorate program in Happiness, set to begin this fall.

http://www.cgu.edu/pages/4546.asp?ItemID=977

Just came from my bookclub where we discussed book, "french women don't get fat" so your post today hit home. I love using tricks and for me the best is to keep the food inaccessible or even better not in my freezer or cupboard. But the french do seem to have a handle on the whole concept. And in line with your post about self control they clearly get that depriving yourself only leads to more trouble. Lots of "food" for thought. k

Great tips! My personal food philosophy: eat less, but eat better. If you eat really good, real, flavorful food, you'll need less to feel satisfied!

Don't forget, drink more water.

We take the rule on tempting food to another level and just leave it in the store. Unless we're catering a party, we just don't buy chocolate, cakes and cookies.

I've been working to a 4 step plan since the start of the year.

1) Healthy snacks at work.
2) No more take-outs and pub lunches (well, max 1 per week).
3) Half the amount of sugar in coffee (saves me around 300 cals/day).
4) Limit alcohol on "school nights".

Lost 18lbs so far, though I undid some of that on holiday the last two weeks!

The diet, or I should rather call it, healthier food tips, I started using from January to loose some winter weight:
1)No sugar in my drinks- I thought I can't survive but it took me few days to get used to it.
2)Few cups of green tea a day- there are so many kinds to choose from, that You simply can't get bored
3)More, more, more fiber- vegetables, fruits, nuts
4)Walking few kilometeres a day- to work, from work

What else can I add- it WORKS!

Yes -- in the end, it all boils down to "eat better, eat less, exercise more." So easy to say, so hard to put into practice!

Great tips! I have Mindless Eating coming up next in my audio book queue. I do the fruit thing-I take at least 3 pieces of fruit to work with me every day. I also make use of the new 100 calorie packs. They're great snacks. I love your blog, btw, and am looking forward to your upcoming book.

If you are accustomed to eating second helpings, then cutting them out reduces the calories in half for those meals. Often, seconds are eaten to be sociable, when others are still eating, or because something just tasted so good, or you didn't get to try a dish the first time. I've noticed that skinny people tend not to eat seconds!

Thanks for the information.

good tips, but #2 made me smile ... i usually don’t by sweets/fatty snacks so not to have the tempting stuff in the house, and that seems to be a good trick for me. but there are days where i will run two blocks down the street at 11 p.m for a handful of wine gums. no place can be inconvenient enough for some cravings.

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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