What Started Me Thinking

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

This Saturday: a quotation from Schopenhauer, and a parable.

Schopenhauer“Whatever fate befalls you, do not give way to great rejoicings or great lamentation; partly because all things are full of change, and your fortune may turn at any moment; partly because men are so apt to be deceived in their judgment as to what is good or bad for them.” --Schopenhauer.

*
FarmThe same point is made in an Eastern parable that my mother often quotes.

One day, an old farmer discovered that his horse had run away. "Terrible!" his neighbors said sympathetically. "How do you know?" asked the farmer.

The next morning the farmer's horse returned with two wild horses. "Wonderful!" the neighbors said. "How do you know?" asked the farmer.

The next morning the farmer's son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown off, and broke his leg. "Terrible!" his neighbors said. "How do you know?" asked the farmer.

The next morning, soldiers came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. "Wonderful!" said the neighbors. "How do you know?" asked the farmer.

Comments

That is a Chinese proverb called "塞翁失馬,焉知非福?" Literally translated to "Mr.Tsai lost his horse. Who knew it wasn't a blessing?" The story came from the 2nd century BC philosophical classic "Huainanzi", one of the earliest Chinese textbook.

The moral of the story is that life is unexpectable. Blessing and misfortune are intertwine. We should not be frustrated at time of misfortune because luck will turn around, and we should not place too much importance on unexpected blessings because extreme pleasure is often followed by sorrow.

I think it is very similar to the english idioms "a blessing in disguise".

I thought many readers of this blog would enjoy this: http://www.ted.com/tedtalks/tedtalksplayer.cfm?key=c_honore

M

The Chinese parable also appears in a wonderful recent children's book, "Zen Shorts."

There are surface meanings and deeper meanings to events...our level of emotional maturity and spiritual awareness inform how we see, or fail to see, the deeper meanings of life's events.

When we are not conscious, we react instinctively, habitually, robotically; when we are conscious, we are aware, discerning, responding to life's events from a place of higher intelligence, and self-reflection, allowing our intuition, inner guidance, truthfulness, and wisdom to guide us.

Very true about blessings in disguise. We all (read that as *ME*)need to remember that things outside of our control are not necessarily *lost*.

I can completely identify with your post and believe I am on a personal journey to understand this better.

The Schopenhauer quote is very much like the teachings of the old Stoics. I highly recommend Seneca's "Letters to a Young Stoic" and "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius (Yeah, the Emperor guy from "Gladiator")

The chinese parable is told in a collection of spiritual fables put together by a Catholic priest who works in India, named Anthony de Mello. The book is called "The Song of the Bird", my copy is printed in 1988, published by GUJARAT SAHITYA PRAKASH ANAND, Gujarat, 388 001, India.
I love this book, I think you would love it too. The little fables capture many of the concepts of happiness that you are exploring.

Thanks for sharing all your work and links!

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On this blog, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.


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