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My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« This Saturday: a quotation from Bob Dylan. | Main | Can money buy some happiness? In my case, YES. »

What I learned from "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain."

Yesterday I finished my five-day intensive Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain course. Zoikes, what an astonishing process.

Here is my pre-instruction portrait.Drawselfpreup

This self-portrait is so astoundingly bad that when we put up our pre-instruction and post-instruction portraits, people in the class jokingly asked if I’d really been trying, or if I was just aiming to have the most dramatic improvement. The crazy thing is that I was trying as hard as I could to do a good job.

Here is my post-instruction self-portrait. (Unfortunately, I can't get rid of the glare, so it's a bit hard to see.)

Drawself

Drawself2

It doesn't really look like me, but it looks like a real drawing of a person. My instructor Brian Bomeisler gave me a huge amount of help, and without that my drawings would have been far different. But nevertheless – I still can’t quite believe I did these.

Drawchair

Drawroom

What a thrill!

Apart from the drawing, the class boosted my happiness in several ways: it put me in touch with new people and ideas; it gave me an adventure outside of my usual routine; by taking me out of my routine, it heightened my appreciation for my usual routine; it gave me the sense of “growth” so important to happiness; it gave me a sense of freedom to realize that I could decide to do something like this and carry it through.

Also – and I didn’t expect this – the class helped me to recognize what I’m actually interested in learning. Before this class, I thought of “art” as a vast subject in which I had an undeveloped but real interest. I wanted to learn something, but I didn’t know quite what.

Now I see more clearly what I’d like to learn.

I’d like to learn how to sketch. I like the idea of setting up to do a full drawing, but I know that I won’t. There are so many things I want to do with my available time; I know I won’t do this kind of drawing. My initial reaction was to deny this truth, try to convince myself that I’d keep up with my new skills, then I thought – nope. I’m not going to make myself feel guilty about this.

Instead, I’d like to learn how to make quick sketches. And as it happens, the Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain program offers a one-day sketching course, so I’ll sign up for that this summer.

Also – and this makes perfect sense when I consider that I devoted an entire month of the Happiness Project to “Focus on books” – I realized that I really want to learn about graphic design. Page lay-out, fonts, cover design, the visual presentation of information…these things fascinate me.

That’s why I was ecstatic to discover the incomparable work of Edward Tufte. That’s why I bought Chip Kidd’s fantastic Book One. That’s why I’m telling everyone about one of the most brilliant books I’ve ever read, Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud (and why I’m reading his Making Comics, even though I don’t even like comics).

I’ve always been fascinated by how readers’ understanding of information can be shaped by presentation. In Power Money Fame Sex: A User’s Guide, I used tip lists, boxes, font changes, boxed quotations, photographs, all sorts of elements to make my information memorable.

In the forty chapters of Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill and Forty Ways to Look at JFK, I used straight narrative, and also the Q-and-A form, a timeline, a map, photographs, arguing both sides of questions, quizzes, and other methods to make my arguments in succinct and provocative ways. This sound tiresomely experimental, but actually, I think it did allow me to impart a huge amount about Churchill and Kennedy in relatively short works – and in an intriguing way.

So again I ask myself: why was it so hard to recognize my passions? Why am I only seeing this interest clearly now? Why couldn’t I see the clues in the books I loved, in the books I WROTE?

Oh, well. Now I know. I’m off to do some research on graphic design…any suggestions?

*
There’s an interesting new site, Insighta (oh, light dawns, I just got that pun…), that’s like a Digg with a focus on issues related to personal development. A great resource if you have a special interest in these subjects.

Comments

Beautiful, I admire people who are open try new experiences and acquire new skills. This matches up with my 'hiearchy of happiness' where the highest level is wisdom and part of wisdom is creativity...see it here...

http://www.reddeerblog.com/2007/04/hierarchy-of-happiness.html

thanks for your insights..

Eduardo
Truthteller site

For learning about graphic design, I highly recommend The Non-Designers Design Book, by Robin Williams. Subtitle: Design and Typographic Principles for the Visual Novice.

Wow, I am blown away by your post. And Gretchen there is soooo much out there to support your new passion. How do I know this? Well because I became a self taught graphic designer and now web designer for the same reason. I fell in love with graphic design. Now years later I do it all. It's part of my total passion for design. But like you I did not know this was a passion until much later in my educational career. So first I have tons of links and resources to share.Just let me know what you need. Second when you delve into design programs like Freehand and or Illustrator, not to mention Photoshop I guarantee you will be amazed at the world now open to you. And what better way to express this new interest than through your blog. The icons that you use to introduce your posts can be designed by you. The look, banner and everything else can be designed by you. On Kstyle I do it all. From the banner designs which I change frequently ( yes I know I am a bit obsessed by this) to the website that I am working on now to present my glass and jewelry designs. There is a wonderful series of books out there called the Non-designer series which really helped me in the begining.http://www.amazon.com/Non-Designers-Design-Book-Robin-Williams/dp/0321193857/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b/002-6681680-2542442 The internet is also an amzing source with tons of tutorial sites where I basically learned photoshop. Then of course there are your local adult ed classes which often have quite a repetoire of design related classes.I am ao excited for you. This is such a fun passion. k

Hi Gretchen,

You might be interested in Nigel Holmes' work. He does illustration and graphic design and some of his work is on his website: http://www.nigelholmes.com/home.htm. Highly recommended.

HAHAHAHA. That's what I have to say about your pre-instruction picture. (I probably can't do any better.) I only laugh because it's so "bad" compared to how amazing your post-instruction picture looks. Awesome improvement Gretchen.

If you're interested in sketches, check out this guy: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=EclecticAsylumArt

Apparently he'll have some how-to sketching videos soon.

Just wanted to say that you made incredible progress! I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed the experience. Isn't it neat how learning one new thing can open up ten more doors? Good luck on your continued self-education!

I LOVE Robin Williams, and should have recommended her book, can't believe I forgot it. An outstanding resource. But now I want to go back and re-read her book, and get her other books, now that I recognize more clearly what I'm looking for. I'm a bit overwhelmed by the thought of how much information is out there, just waiting to be absorbed -- exciting, but also intimidating. Redesigning my blog banner! It took me a long time to figure out how to post a photo! But I can take it slow...Now I'm off to check out some of these links.

If you're researching the profession, http://www.aiga.org is as good a place to start as any. Congrats on your courageous drawing experience!

check out www.dannygregory.com who used drawing to get back to happiness after his wife was paralysed in an accident

Hi Gretchen -- you should be very proud of your drawings! I also took a drawing class a few years back and was amazed and how "learnable" the skills are. It's not as mysterious as you might think.

A great resource for learning about graphic design is Before and After Magazine. It's actually an online magazine available in PDF format. www.bamagazine.com

I'd been putting off subscribing to Before & After because I thought the price was a little steep, but then I had a happy accident: If you sign up for a free user account at Pantone.com (which I did when I ordered some things from them) and then click on "Tips and Tecniques" on the Pantone website, there is a whole collection of useful articles, including a ton of back issues of Before and After Magazine, available for free download.

That discovery made me very happy! I'm not a graphic designer but I'm very interested in learning about it.

Great job! I took this class as a foundation course in my graphic design extension program. It was great to see your work.

i think it looks like you.
If you want to learn how to sketch, get a moleskine or similar small sketchbook - carry it with you everywhere, and sketch, sketch sketch.
Also check out the art students league or go to artrenewal.org and look for approved atliers.
also, start copying master drawings and sketches (no tracing!) its live long learning process remember what the great hokasia said about drawing ;)

Wow Gretchen. I've been a professional artists for years and taught art, which is why I'm incredibly amazed with your sketching. It takes people years to make that kind of progress. Did a light just go off?

Dear Gretchen,
I love your drawings and your enthusiasm and hope you are still sketching (highly recommend Danny Gregory's Creative License book by the way)
I've just started teaching Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain in the UK - I am doing it under license from Brian Bomeisler in NY. I am currently putting together my website and I wondered if you would mind me either putting a link to this page here or putting a screengrab of your comments as I think you say so beautifully what the benefits of the course are and I think it's really helpful for someone thinking about doing the course to hear first hand from someone who has done. Let me know what you think - thank you for considering it and good luck with the drawing! ANNA

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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