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  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • The best reading is re-reading.
  • Outer order contributes to inner calm.
  • The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  • You manage what you measure.
  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they're fake, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« This Wednesday: tips for succeeding as a TV writer in Hollywood. | Main | This Saturday: a quotation from Raymond Carver. »

A reminder that nothing lasts forever.

I’m in Kansas City for my sister’s wedding this Saturday. I got here on Tuesday, and the bride-to-be arrived Wednesday. The Big Man and our girls arrive this afternoon.

It was strange. I realized that Wednesday night was probably the last night for a long, long time that the four of us – me, my sister, my mother, my father – would be alone together. After years and years in which that was our everyday pattern, now that’s really over. From now on, we’ll always be with various husbands and children, too. Which is fun and wonderful, but not the same.

Right now, it’s not remarkable at all (obviously) for the Big Man, the Big Girl, and the Little Girl and I to be hanging around our apartment.

That night was a reminder to me that although these cozy family days seem limitless, they aren’t.

Comments

My family has gone camping at the same campground every summer for 30 years or so (since before I was born!). I can remember when it would be my parents, brother and sister, myself and the dog all in one cozy tent on one campsite. Now it takes three adjacent campsites and a hotel room down the road to hold my folks, my siblings and their spouses, six nieces and nephews, two dogs and a rabbit. But we still go as a whole family every year.

Yes, cozy things don't last forever, but they can often be replaced by something equally meaningful, rather than just being lost in nostalgia-land. :)

Thanks for the reminder and for sharing. I'm 46 with three kids that are 7, 9, and 13 -- so your comments are real to me. I appreciate them.

And thanks for this blog -- I read your work regularly and really enjoy/appreciate what you're doing. I found you based on someone saving a link to you in ma.gnolia (a del.icio.us-like site).

Have fun at the wedding!
-kevin in NH

PS. I'm in the process of launching a blog myself and working on sharpening the idea/positioning -- so the site my name links to is still in a bit of a state of flux.

Congrats to your sister and have a wonderful day. I think it's neat that your original family is the same as your family now. Two paents and two daughters. In my case I did a flip flop. I grew up in a house of girls and now I live in a house of boys. In fact very interesting. My mother had daughters and with only one exception her daughters all had sons. You just never know what the chromosome gods are going to dole out. k

Recently my husband of 12 years came home from Afghanistan for 15 days of R&R. We've lived apart for 11 months. We won't see him again until February. 264 days. God Willing.

Those two weeks we spent together, just the four of us, were surreal. A family, a mother, a father, a brother and a sister just being together at home. Eating dinner at the same table, in the same time zone. Cheering together at a baseball game, standing with hands on hearts during the national anthem...

So many families were there with us. How many of them realized what a privilege it was for them just to be together?

Welcome back. Hopefully the off-and-on rain today was off during your sister's wedding (especially if it was an outdoor event).

I've felt that way a lot recently. As the youngest in my family, I have slowly seen those cozy days at Grandma and Grandpa's house begin to disappear. The innocence is gone, especially since I have vastly different views of the world in comparison to my family. It's not fun, but I still love my family and am glad to spend any time with them. Even if now they gang up on me, the crazy liberal, with their conservative political arguments.

Many times we forget the ones who stay with us the longest in life.

Whether good or bad times, we can rely on them.

I practice attitude of gratitude to get more in life. I also listen to soundwave music to increase my focus and visualization.

This pdt is creatd by Stephen Pierce and I want to share his story on why such a pdt is created:-
http://secretofunlimitedprosperity.com/19/attraction-accelerator-a-word-from-the-creator/

Cheers, Karen

This struck a chord because I was working on a post (linked) about how rock bands that I had worked with rarely had the ability to enjoy the moment and they were struggling with career development. It wasn't until years later that they had the perspective to look back at the amazing experiences they were having. Perspective about enjoying the moment must be one of the key elements for living a contented life.

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

9Rules

  • 9rules

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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