Face it: you have no free time.

The other day, I was waxing poetic to a friend about the joys of clearing out closets, and she sighed, “I know, my closets are a mess, and I’m dying to get them cleaned out. As soon as I have some free time, I’m going to get started.”

The fact is – she doesn’t have any free time.

I suffer from this illusion as much as anyone. I fantasize about the summer looming long and empty, with ample time for me to undertake all sorts of projects that I can’t do during “the year.” I think I’ll get a lot done at night after the girls go to bed. I imagine that as soon as I’m done with my book proposal/my manuscript/book publicity, I’ll have a glut of leisure.

But for a lot of people, including me, that kind of open time just isn’t going to present itself.

The fact that I have no “free time,” however, doesn’t mean that I can’t “free up some time.” I need to set priorities and make time for the things I want to do.

Only since the Happiness Project have I kicked the bad habit of putting off things I didn’t want to do, with the excuse that I’d do them when I had free time -- priorities like weight-training, doctors’ appointments, starting a blog, organizing all my wonderful happiness quotations in a book.

These days, I often go to the extreme of making an entry in my calendar, like “research Disneyworld” or “clean out coat closet.” Otherwise, I never find the time.

I might have thought that making time for these "free time" priorities would make me feel overwhelmed by a crowded schedule. Actually, it makes me feel more relaxed, because I see that I can tackle the tasks that I know should be done. As the list shrinks a bit, I feel like my life is in better shape.

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There are so many aspects to happiness in my view: diet, exercise, relationships, romance, parenting, creativity, efficiency, spirituality, order, learning, work....the list goes on. When I poke around the internet, there is SO MUCH that interests me that sometimes I just turn away and pick up a book. Yesterday I was checking out the "self-improvement" zone, and came across Today is That Day and ended up spending a lot of time there.

Comments

[Today is that Day]

Gretchen,

I appreciate you stopping by the site as well as letting your readers know about it. It has really become a "labor of love" for me, and I truly enjoy writing content that helps people to think and to make some positive changes in their lives.

You are a welcome guest anytime!

- Aaron

[Gretchen Rubin]

Thank you! May we both have a million readers -- and help make everyone happier.

[Yvonne]

Gretchen, what you are talking about -- scheduling in important priorities -- is one of Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. You probably would get a lot out of the whole book.

[julietred]

I really enjoy your exploaration of happiness and look forward to reading your posts. But something changed a few weeks ago and now all the type on your site is underlined. I mean every single type element. It's just too hard to read. I browse about 20 or 30 sites a day and it's usually the same ones and yours is the only one to have this problem. I just wanted to post and let you know. I view your site from the Mac OS using either Safari 2.0.4 or Firefox 2.0.3. I hope the info helps.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Thanks so much for letting me know about the underlining. I emailed Typepad about it, but I need to follow up more vigorously. I appreciate the heads-up...off I go to customer support.

[Mugs]

I always seem to find time for my 'to do' list when I'm frantically busy and wonder around aimlessly when I'm not. Off I go to schedule the ironing into Outlook Calendar. Great post, again.

[Greg Robson]

A wonderful insight Gretchen: so often we say "I'll do that when I have an hour spare", or "I'll do that after dinner".

Something we often fail to realise is how much we can accomplish in the small moments of time. Sometimes the 5 minutes you have spare before you leave the house are not a cue to get into work early, but an opportunity to tidy up a pile of clothes or file some papers. Those moments combined give a wonderful return if they are invested wisely.

[Kathleen Mulcahy]

Most likely, I am the eldest member of regular blog readers here. I enjoy reading not only the blog but also the comments where I can find insights into my own thirty/twentysomething children. It takes a lot to come out of the *grey-haired closet* but today's post has made me do it to say what I always say to my kids when they complain they *didn't have the time*. I think you'll find it fits in quite well here with you thoughtful, reflective, intelligent contributors ---- You have the same 24 hours in your day as Mother Theresa had in hers...I say this with great respect for her and for all of you trying to be conscious in your daily lives!

[Marc]

The whole idea of "free time" is simply priorities. We all get 24 hours, period. I talk to lots of people who say things like "I'd love to exercise, but I don't have the time!" Then I ask how much time they spend in front of the TV set. We all get the same time budget, it's how we decide to spend it.

[Li Wei]

Our tendency to over-estimate of time is mentioned in Brian Tracey's Eat That Frog (if I remember right), and his solution was to 'unschedule'. You're right about prioritisation; it lets us control the demands on our time, but I think the unschedule also helps tighten the our perception of how much time we actually have.
By the way I have been reading your blog for a while and it's one of the more thoughtful blogs out there. :)

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, I think everyone is right that we DO have the time -- especially if we realize that we can make use of small bits of time, that we can tackle big jobs one step at a time, and remember that even the greatest achievements were completed by people who had the same 24 hours.

[Alex Fayle]

As I've gone through my own unscheduling transformation, I've come to realize that everything we do is a choice.

If we don't have time for certain activities, it is because of a choice to do other ones.

Too many of us go through life half asleep, without making our choices consciously.

[randy]

what is it with women in nyc? they're SO busy anytime you want to spend time with them they've got to pull out their calendars and pencil you in. it makes me sick. maybe if you weren't so self-absorbed in your pursuit of the "best you" things would go a little better?

disgusted...

[randy]

i don't have these time-management crises like you all do.

[Jen]

I discovered you via Typepad's Blog of the Day, and I'm so happy they featured you! You're definitely going on my Netvibes homepage. I wanted to share that if you really have researching Disneyworld on your to-do list, check out All Ears Net, a fabulous unofficial Disney info site. I also swear by the book The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World. The new editions come out in August. Thanks so much for sharing your insights - they come at just the right time for me.