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My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« Feeling unappreciated? Taken for granted? Happiness and the desire for praise, appreciation, and gold stars. | Main | Are you looking for a way to eliminate problems and annoyances? »

This Wednesday: Ten hilarious tips for writing from Mark Twain.

Twain2_2Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Tips for writing from Mark Twain.

Novelist James Fenimore Cooper is out of fashion now (unless he’s sprung back into fashion without my noticing, entirely possible), but his novels, like the The Deerslayer and The Last of the Mohicans, were highly praised in their time. Mark Twain disagreed with that praise.

You can’t get the full hilarious effect of Twain’s essay Fenimore Cooper’s Literary Offences unless you read the whole thing, but we can all learn from his rules for writing. Here are some of my favorites from his list.

Mark Twain divides his rules into large rules and little rules—all violated by James Fenimore Cooper:

Large rules:
1. A tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere.

2. The episodes of a tale shall be necessary parts of the tale, and shall help develop it.

3. The personages in a tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that always the reader shall be able to tell the corpses from the others.

4. The personages in a tale, both dead and alive, shall exhibit a sufficient excuse for being there.

5. When the personages of a tale deal in conversation, the talk shall sound like human talk, and be talk such as human beings would be likely to talk in the given circumstances, and have a discoverable meaning, also a discoverable purpose, and a show of relevancy, and remain in the neighborhood of the subject in hand, and be interesting to the reader, and help out the tale, and stop when the people cannot think of anything more to say.

6. The personages of a tale shall confine themselves to possibilities and let miracles alone; or, if they venture a miracle, the author must so plausibly set it forth as to make it look possible and reasonable.

Little rules:
7. An author should say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it.

8. Use the right word, not its second cousin.

9. Eschew surplusage.

10. Not omit necessary details.

I’ve never read anything by James Fenimore Cooper, and having read this essay, I certainly never will, but I’ve read Fenimore Cooper’s Literary Offences countless times, and it makes me laugh out loud each time.

*
I just discovered the aptly named blog, The Juggle, a Wall Street Journal blog about juggling work and family life. Sometimes it makes me feel more stressed to read about "the juggle," but sometimes I find it soothing to be reminded that everyone is struggling with the same issues -- and to get some tips about how to handle the juggle better.

Comments

You can get free access to that Wall Street Journal article with a netpass from http://www.congoo.com

"Novelist James Fenimore Cooper is out of fashion now (unless he’s sprung back into fashion without me noticing..."

Mind a grammatical correction?

"Me" should be "my"...

Enjoy your blog so very much!!!

Oops! Always particularly embarassing to make a grammatical mistake when you're writing about writing...off to fix it.

If you like WSJ's Juggle column, check out www.jugglezine.com. Thought-provoking articles about any number of topics.

I loved the Cooper books. His style was, to say the least, unorthodox. But the stories, great.

Larry P

Oh, Mark Twain. He was an awesome guy. Wish I could've been alive then to meet him.

Good article. Sometimes though I think that Twain was a bit miffed over Cooper's popularity. He certainly isn't waxing on as to why Cooper was so popular, he's just waning as to why he shouldn't be.
FYI, here's my presentation of Twain's "War Prayer."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuEaJQEU9bU
It's only three minutes long. Hope you "enjoy" it.
John

Well, maybe I'll read a Fenimore Cooper novel one of these days. They were certainly popular at one time -- or maybe they'll just seem funny, seen through Twain's eyes.

Can you correct mistakes on typepad? I'm thinking about starting a blog but want to be able to add and subtract from the posts. Does Typepad support this feature? I tried asking them directly but got a much FULLER anwser, which of course doesn't anwser anything.

Erica

I just noticed that you did correct your mistake. Fabulous! So never mind the question and keep up the good work.

Gold Star for you!

Erica

Hi there,

I'm linking to your site today. Thanks for the essay. Great stuff.

Erica -- you mean, does Typepad let you go back to previous posts and change them, whether by adding or deleting material? If that's the question, then YES. You can go back to any post very easily and make whatever changes you like. Sounds like you got too much information when you asked Typepad a question -- I will say that one of the reasons I LOVE Typepad is that their customer support is terrific. Because zoikes, I need it. I was sending in a question every day when I was starting this blog.

That Twain take down of Cooper is one of Twain's most underappreciated gems.

I first read it in high school, fell about the place laughing, and to this day snicker when I pass the Deerslayer on bookstore shelves.

That was exactly my question and am very excited to hear that is possible. I am seriously considering Typepad and the good review helps. I too usually prefer too much information but sometimes the yes/no answer is all you need. Thanks for the info, keep up the good work.

Erica

Twains, Tom and Huck are great Americans, but Coopers, Hawkeye is a great American hero. He may even be the greatest.

"does Typepad let you go back to previous posts and change them, whether by adding or deleting material?"

Just curious, but is there *any* blog system out there that *doesn't* allow you to do that?

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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