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My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« Who knew? There are two kinds of stress: distress and eustress. | Main | A reminder that nothing lasts forever. »

This Wednesday: tips for succeeding as a TV writer in Hollywood.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Tips for succeeding as a TV writer in Hollywood.

My sister is getting married on Saturday, so in her honor, I’m posting a list of her tips about trying to make a successful career of TV writing. She didn’t actually formulate these as tips, but every once in a while over the last few years, she’s dropped one of these truisms—which I find so interesting that I’ve remembered them all.

1. “Every stereotype about L.A. is more true than you can possibly imagine.”
My sister once went into a meeting to pitch a TV shows about a bunch of teenagers at a boarding school where they’re trained to use magical powers. The executives at the meeting said, “We love it! We absolutely love it! But what about changing the teens to adults, and setting it on Wall Street?” Just like you read about.

2. “People succeed in groups.”
We all know the uncomfortable, competitive feelings that you can get when friends score a success—it can even feel like that their success makes your own success less likely. My sister’s motto is “People succeed in groups,” so good career news for a friend is good for her, too. Not only is this line true, it makes you a much nicer person.

3. “Good news comes right away; bad news never comes.”
This rule applies when you’re waiting to hear whether people liked an idea, a proposal, a draft, etc. If you don’t hear back pretty quick, they didn’t like it.

4. “You have to live in L.A. for three years before anything much happens.”
People told my sister this when she moved out there, and indeed, after she’d been there for three years, her career really picked up speed. This is largely because relationships are so important in L.A., and it takes about three years to work up a serious network.

5. “In a meeting, if someone asks if you want something to drink, say ‘yes.’”
This is a generally applicable tip about the use of power. If you want to read more about this rule, and why it’s true, check out my book, Power Money Fame Sex: A User’s Guide.

6. “Remember, the person you hire today might be hiring you tomorrow.”
The TV business is in constant flux, and there are abrupt shifts of fortune. You’d think that as a result, people would feel compelled to be nice to everyone else, out of pure self-interest if not altruism, but they don’t.

Comments

One could also read advice from folks who are doing it. Jane Espenson is an excellent example with lots of TV writing tips!

http://www.janeespenson.com/

And your #1 is absolutely dead on.

Thanks for this blog. I don't comment normally, but I was a Journalism major with emphasis in TV, radio and film, so I found this post particularly relevant!

I ordered "Power Money Fame Sex" in January on Amazon, but they eventually (in May, I think) canceled it saying they couldn't fulfill it - where can a order a copy?

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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