Make yourself happier by re-framing: reality doesn’t change, but your feelings do.

We all have little things that bother us more than they should, and one of those things for me is library fines.

Maybe it’s because I love libraries so much – I hate to feel that I’m not in good standing. Obviously, the librarians don’t glower at me just because I have an overdue book, but I feel as if they might. Also, it’s such a dumb way to waste money (at ten cents a day, it’s not a huge amount, but still).

I recently had some overdue books at my beloved New York Society Library. The three books were stacked up by the front door, ready to go, but I hadn’t been able to visit the library for several days.

Finally the day came when I could return them. Feeling guilty, I walked up the stairs with my stack, when it struck me, “Hey, this is the LIBRARY. If I pay a fine at Video Room on a late DVD, they just make a little more profit. If I pay a fine at the library, they have a little more money for books! I give money to this library every year; this is just another way of making a contribution.”

Of course, the good library citizen returns her books promptly. Others might be waiting. But realizing that I could re-frame the fines from “breaking library rules” and “money thrown away” to “giving money to the library” lightened my mood considerably.

(I recognize that this is an absurdly small thing to dwell on. But the fines really did bother me. And if nothing else, it’s a good example of the power of re-framing.)

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I came across an interesting post on Productivity 501 in which people wrote in to answer the question, "What is the single biggest way people waste time without even realizing it?" Now, you might think that READING a post on the topic of how people waste time might, itself, be considered a potential time-waster, but there was some really interesting commentary on how to make better use of time.

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Comments

[karen]

Good points

I personally do not like to waste time on watching TV, surf web, instant messaging

I spend my time in listening to personal development audios etc and update my blog with useful reflections on experiences so that my readers can visit

My blog is catered for people who need more insights on how they can use law of attraction to bring better things into their life.

Cheers!

[evilbunnie]

You've chosen the perfect example to demonstrate the power of reframing. I know exactly how you feel, as I had the same "library fine revelation" a few years ago. Sure, the fines are meant to encourage prompt return, but the limited amount of the fines demonstrates that they're much more of an administrative fee than a true penalty (if the library really wanted to press you to return the books, the fines per day would be measured in dollars, not dimes). And when I thought about it, instead of feeling guilty that I inevitably incur fines, I realized I'd much rather borrow the books (even with the small "administrative fee" that I know I'd rack up) than spend the money to buy the books new or secondhand, and then have the book clutter that that would create. Not every book is a keeper, so being able to return the books to the library is a benefit in itself. Thinking about the fines as a donation makes the whole deal seem altruistic and fine, rather than just one more example of my disorganization or inability to jam one more errand into my time-deprived day. Thanks for your insights.

[Mella DP]

Good example and an important point, Gretchen. However, got to be a spoil sport and let people know that this specific perspective might not be technically correct in all cases. At my municipal public library and others, the library doesn't get to keep the fines it collects - all those revenues go into some mysterious pot in town hall. I'm sure this annoys the librarians, and I've heard them explain it to patrons, so that people aren't misled about it. Other cities likely have other policies, and of course, Gretchen's specific example pertains to a subscription library (I think?) which would be different. Anyhow, just felt compelled to set the record straight on behalf of the library - I'll stop being pedantic now. :)

[Gretchen Rubin]

Good point! New York Society Library gets to keep its fines, I'm pretty sure, but I imagine lots of libraries don't.

[Rich]

There's a fine line between "reframing" and "excuses". The person waiting for those books you're late returning probably thinks that framing overdue books in terms of library donations is making excuses.

The due dates aren't there for the library's benefit, after all -- the library would prefer to have its books in readers' hands. Due dates are there for the other patrons who want to read the books you have.

[M]

I just had the identical situation, and adopted the same approach. Our library is awesome, but it suffers from a lack of funding. I actually felt pretty good about 'donating' to the public library.

[Mark Shead]

Reframing library fines might make you feel better, but if it gives you an excuse to put off returning books, it could cost you much more than the amount of the fines.

Many libraries now turn overdue books over to collection agencies which means it will show up on your credit report. This isn't probably going to happen if you have a book out an extra day or two, but it is something to be aware of.

[Kathy Irwin]

Hey Gretchen,
Love your blog, keep on writing! I'm an academic librarian, and I am a passionate user of my public library. I have books checked out from multiple libraries at a time. I constantly owe fines, which is such an ironic thing. Anyway, I came to the same conclusion as you that my fine money will be rolled back into materials and services that I love. And the return on the investment in tremendous.

(By the way, I was a teacher before becoming a librarian - and teachers are the worst students!)
:-D
Kathy

[Ariane Benefit, Neat & Simple Living]

wow....I "reframe all sorts of negative stuff like this. Mark Shead makes an interesting point about using it as an excuse. It hasn't worked like that for me..but it sure does reduce the stress of the moment and help me bounce back to a better "frame" of mind : )

[Shirley]

I love that idea Gretchen. It's a great example of having the same "reality" as before, but finding the positive in it. Anything that brings more peace into your life is a good thing.

(In fact your idea was so good, I'm almost tempted to "purposely" be late a few times. I just love libraries, and all those wonderful, wonderful books.) :0)