Why is it hard to throw something away, even if it has outlived its usefulness?

Well, I did it.

I had a white button-down shirt that I loved. I didn’t often have an occasion to wear it, but when I did, I loved it.

But a few months ago, when I put it on for the first time in a while, I wasn’t sure I liked it anymore. The shoulders seemed odd. I noticed that the white color was a bit off. And it looked like it might have a tiny stain.

Would anyone notice but me? Probably not, I figured – but I took off the shirt anyway.

A month later, I put it on – and took it off.

Last night, I put it on – and took it off. And then I GOT RID OF IT. I didn’t hang it up in my closet. I didn’t pretend that I'd wear it “next time,” or that I’d wear it under a jacket. I have another perfectly good white shirt, I’ll wear that one. The old shirt is going out the door.

One of my Twelve Commandments is “Spend out.” It reminds me of two goals: first, don’t “save” my favorite things, but use them up; and second, when something is broken, get rid of it.

Why? Because if I have something that I love, in perfect condition, but that I never use – that’s clutter. And if I have something that once worked, but now isn’t working, that I never use – that’s clutter.

It’s satisfying to have my one remaining button-down white shirt. Now I’ll wear it, I’ll use it up, I’ll let it go.

I’m always surprised by what a happiness boost I get from clearing clutter. It always cheers me up to pare down.

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The profession of "cool-hunter" intrigues me, perhaps because I suffer from such a lack of cool that I can count on the fact that by the time I've noticed a trend, it's over. My mother, by contrast, is a natural cool-hunter. I stumbled across the site Trend Hunter, aimed at cool-hunting, and I spent a suprising amount of time looking at all the stuff -- not that it's all "cool," but I came away impressed by people's ingenuity.

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Comments

[Armand]

You've taken a wrong step somewhere in this article... I covered it in a post on my blog.

[Maria Helm]

I have the same problem. Something will have a little stain, be a little off-color, or something, and I just can't get rid of it. My closet's been getting cluttered, and I can hardly justify buying NEW stuff if the closet is already full. So I just went through a round last month where I dyed a few items (and one still got thrown away), gave a handful to goodwill, and sent a couple others through with 5 loads of wash to see if those stains really would come out (some did/some didn't).

Now, I need to make the same resolve about jar candles. When they're so low that you can't burn them, but the jar is an awkward size and you can't fit another in, what do you do? Only once in my life have I actually melted other wax/candles to refill a jar candle...and it was so messy and hot I can't imagine I will really do it again. Should I find someone who will do it and bless them with those empty candle jars? Probably, but who am I kidding? They'll just sit in my cupboard until we move again!

[Travis]

Getting rid of clutter is terribly liberating. I've done this myself lately. There was a huge backlog of books I intended to read but, at my current rate of reading, I realized I had about 15 years worth. So, I made a list in case I really want to read them later, backed them into paper shopping bags and dropped the whole lot into the free bin out front of my neighborhood used book store. Got several "thanks!" from folks browsing and went about my day with a smile on my face.

[MJ]

I'm divesting myself of books I will never read again and got a giggle the other day by leaving one on the desk of a work colleague who reads material like that in the book. I left a note on it "From the Company XYZ book fairy." I think that she has no idea at all of who left it! TEE HEE!!

A few months ago someone left me a book, I still don't know who (it was a mindfulness and inner peace book, useful but just new-agey enough that I would not have bought it myself - hm, must have been showing that I had been having a terrible time). I'm still enjoying the not knowing part, hope my colleague is too!

[Beth]

Armand, you've taken a wrong step. How can using something up be interpreted as not caring? To not use something up is wasteful, and THAT is not caring -- about the environment, about the person who gave it (if it's a gift), about the effort that was made and the resources that were spent to obtain it, about the order in your home. P.S. Tacky way to get site hits.

[Kikipotamus the Hobo]

As I read this, I am sitting with my laptop behind a little folding table with a cash box in front of me. My boyfriend's family is liberating their living space from 30 years of clutter. My breathing is getting easier by the hour.

[Armand]

*MJ: I didn't necessarily say that throwing away stuff that you don't use anymore is bad. The way she put it was wrong...
It's not necessary to agree with me.
PS: It wasn't meant for site hits.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I agree, a great bonus to getting rid of clutter is when you can take something that's cluttering your house and put it in the hands of someone who is pleased to get it. Garage sales, clothes exchanges (a friend of mine organizes these periodically with her close pals), or the Salvation Army....we dropped off four bags of used books at Housing Works this morning. Feels great.

[Martha Garvey]

Ah, Housing Works. I always get a glow when I drop stuff off there.

Without getting too mushy here, I also think it's important to allow yourself grief after you throw something or give something away. If I've been hanging onto it without using it, then I've usually been hanging onto an idea of myself that can be both precious...and inaccurate.

Goodbye, broken punky earring. Goodbye, memory of myself from 1989.

[Suebob]

I always have a thrift shop bag going. Whatever I find that I do not use or need, I drop in the bag. About once a month, I go give it to the nice ladies at the Spay and Neuter Project Thrift store down the street. Sometimes it is just a couple items. Other times I have 3 bags full.

[Inihtar]

I've moved around a lot, so I hang on to things that I've gotten from people as a way of hanging on to them (in some fashion). I often realize though, that when I do let go, I often don't miss the things I gave up. . .

And on trendhunting. . . check out this story at http://jscms.jrn.columbia.edu/cns/2006-03-14/saminather-trendwatching/. It has a few more interesting trendwatching sites:)

[Diana Bartling]

I am not a saver, but when it comes to books I have a hard time letting them go! I recently went through my bookshelf and thought about who could use a particular book more than me. Giving my much loved books a new home gave me a lot of joy and the recipients told me they felt loved because I put thought into the gift.