I have some fun getting my "Style Statement" from consultants Carrie and Danielle.

The first of my Twelve Commandments is to “Be Gretchen,” and one way to do a better job of “Being Gretchen” is to increase my self-knowledge.

This lofty goal also provides a good excuse to do things like read books about the Enneagram.

When I read Cynthia Kling’s article in Domino magazine, Phone Date with (Style) Destiny, about her “Style Statement” appointment with a team of consultants, Carrie and Danielle, I was intrigued.

Carrie and Danielle's motto is "Communicate who you are in all you do." Their “style statement” is a two-word phrase that sums up your personal style. It’s descriptive, but also prescriptive, because it not only describes you, it’s meant to help you think about your decisions and actions with more insight into what makes you happy. The first word in the phrase describes your dominant style, and the second word, the individual edge – in an 80/20 balance.

Gosh, that sounded fun. Knowing my “style statement” might boost my self-knowledge, right? I also have resolutions to “Experiment with psychological shortcuts” and “Try something new.” I decided to give it a shot.

I made a phone date with Carrie (on the left in the photo). For about an hour, she posed a series of questions meant to reveal my values, priorities, aesthetics, and approach to life. Then we took a break. When she called me back, she gave me my style statement.

Her analysis: I’m “Constructive Insouciant.” (Cynthia Kling was “Cultivated Wonder,” Carrie is “Refined Treasure,” Danielle is “Sacred Dramatic.”) The first word, “Constructive,” represents my foundation and fundamental nature. The second word, “Insouciant,” represents my creative edge, and, if I understand correctly, also the aspect of my personality that, while important to me, is at risk for being overwhelmed and lost.

So did I feel that “Constructive Insouciant” is a phrase that gives me insight into myself?

“Constructive” absolutely does feel like a great fit. Some of the observations that rang true were: loves order, patterns, cohesiveness…likes making things happen…like being clearly expressive…wants to get things moving in the right direction…often very driven…needs sound foundation of love and family, or can be overcome with worry…likes a look and feel that’s sturdy, complex, detailed, strategic, tailored, social responsible…

There’s more but that’s the idea.

At first, I wasn’t sure about “Insouciant.” I sure don’t think of myself as insouciant. But then I realized – a desire for more play, more creativity, more light-heartedness was a major motivation for my starting The Happiness Project. I have resolutions like, “Force myself to wander” and “Take time to be silly.”

Obviously I felt the need to bring more insouciance into my life – and the way I did it was typically “Constructive,” by carefully building a structure to include “play” and writing down appointments in my datebook for things like “browse in a bookstore.”

So I guess my style statement was pretty darned enlightening.

Carrie and Danielle have a book about the “Style Statement” coming out in several months, can’t wait to read that. Getting a phone consultation is expensive, so I think many people will be excited to have the option to read the book.

The Carrie and Danielle website has their Manifesto of Style, which I found very interesting. Now I'm inspired to try to write a Happiness Manifesto.

Re-reading this post, it strikes me as kinda flack-y, but all very sincere.

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Comments

[Juggling Frogs]

The Happiness Project *is* a Happiness Manifesto.

I think “Constructive Insouciant” is spot-on. That's why this website is so addictive! It's helpful and fun.

Have a great weekend.

[zenparadox]

"Communicate who you are in all you do."

Odd, I think this focus on communicating my image is exactly what's made me unhappy. I'm not always feeling like Strong and Independent Woman, and after broadcasting that message for years, people are usually shocked and don't know how to react when I do something normal like cry.

[Jessica Rice]

Hi Gretchen,

Fun post. Just wanted to emerge from invisibility to let you know that I read & love your blog! I'm 31-years-old & live in Oakland, CA. FYI. ;)

Jessica

[Gretchen Rubin]

Hello Jessica! and I'm very glad to hear that I seem truly "Constructive Insouciant." I'm trying.

I wonder if occasionally we all want to flip over into the opposite of our usual style -- I, for one, am fascinated by destructiveness, though I don't indulge in it myself (I wrote that book Profane Waste about why people destroy their own stuff). Maybe as a "strong and independent" person, you want to embrace the opposite sometimes...

[Debbie]

Oh, I had my Style Statement done this week and loved it. Several of my answers took me quite by surprise.

At first my foundation didn't seem correct until Danielle explained exactly what "contemporary" meant. I've been trying to use my style statement ever since and have been somewhat amazed that now I am dressing Contemporary Sensual how many compliments I am receiving. It is also much easier to go through my closet and weed out. Also, walked around my house an realized the items that make me feel the best fall into this category.

Have to say I have been quite pleased and would highly recommend this to someone.

[Laura]

Hi Gretchen,

I love The Happiness Project idea and think having your Style Statement determined is an important step towards happiness. I had my done over a year ago and it was revelatory and affirming all at the same time. When Carrie revealed my SS as Simple Natural, my first thought was "how boring". I was confused, but upon reading through the long list of rich descripters I realized it was exactly right. Decisions I made almost 30 years ago - like choosing simple, white, clean-lined Wedgewood china -were affirmed as me being me, not someone who just couldn't make up her mind. And "natural" encompasses nature's infinite variety-from extreme to extreme-from which to accessorize my life. My SS has made it faster and simpler (love that word) to make decisions about every thing: fashion, decorating, entertaining, communicating, career decisions, etc. Now I know why I love what I love and that makes me happy!

[Jill]

I've been reading you for months now and I absolutely love it. I'm looking at myself in, well, more constructive ways and it is indeed making me happier. I appreciate your readable and easy to implement style. I don't feel pressured to make drastic changes in the pursuit of happiness but I've found plenty of changes that suit me very well. Thank you.

[Karryn]

Great comments and testimonials of the power of Style Statement. This process is now available to everyone in workbook form. It's a beautiful experience. www.amazon.com/Style-Statement - go from there and unearth your own personal treasure!

Shine,

Karryn

[kbsradio]

I love SS, the ladies behind the concept and the book itself. Honestly, though, I'm having a hard time translating the SS words (I'm Genuine Creative) into practice. The "genuine" and Taurus part of me is so literal and concrete that having the words alone is almost too etherial and intangible to effectuate change. Somehow, I'm left frustrated. HELP PLEASE.