What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

If you want to encourage people to do something -- such as eat their vegetables -- why is it a bad idea to give them a prize?

FruitsandvegOne of my most important happiness principles is to "Follow my interests." Sometimes, I develop a passionate interest in some topic for no apparent reason. I used to try to restrain myself from going off on little research projects, so that I would stay more focused on work, but now I let myself go.

One issue that fascinates me is the rise in obesity in the U.S. Why is it happening? How do we change the trend? So I was very interested to see news reports that $1 billion of nutrition education didn’t seem to have any effect at all at how kids ate.

The theory was that if children understood the health benefits of eating properly, they’d make wiser choices. However, although they did learn nutrition facts, this knowledge didn’t change their eating habits.

In the descriptions of the various programs that appeared in The Week magazine's “Nutrition Classes Don’t Work” (7/20/07, not available online), a few facts grabbed my attention that might help explain the failure of these programs.

But in practice, kids given free fruit and veggies, a federal study found, were even more likely to turn to junk a year later.” --People generally believe that they get what they pay for, and therefore don’t value free stuff very much. (Is this the ultimate Giffen good?) Giving healthy food away may have sent the signal that no one would ever pay to eat it. This is ironic because in fact, you have to pay more to eat healthy than to eat junk.

“Other programs that offered prizes for eating broccoli, apples, and the like affected eating habits only temporarily.”
--Studies show that rewarding a behavior reduces people’s desire to do that behavior freely. Once the reward stops coming, they quit. For example, in one study, subjects were asked to work on an interesting puzzle. Half the subjects were promised money, the other half weren’t. At one point, the experimenter told the subject that there would be a break before the next phase, and left the subject alone. The subject could continue to work on the puzzle, read, or do nothing. Subjects who had been paid spent less time on the puzzle than those who hadn’t been paid. (I read about this in Kohn’s Punished by Rewards, a study of the problems of using reward to motivate people, recommended by a blog reader, thanks.)

What are the lessons to be gleaned from this? If you want to motivate folks to want to choose to do a certain thing enthusiastically (like eat vegetables or read books), don’t reward them for doing it or behave as though people can’t be expected to want to do it on their own.

Several years ago, we had brunch with a family we didn’t know well. After bagels, everyone got a bowl of strawberries, and the Big Girl said to me in a whiny voice, “I don’t want any strawberries!” and I answered, “Great, all the more for me, I’ll eat yours, too!” And I did.

The other mother looked a bit shocked. She told her daughter, “You can’t have a brownie unless you eat your strawberries.”

It was clear she thought I should have coaxed the Big Girl into eating the strawberries instead of eating them myself, and I’ve always felt a bit guilty about my reaction. But hey, looking at this material makes me think that I may have stumbled on just the right strategy for making her think that eating fruit is something that people want to do.

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I'm thrilled, because I just found out I'm in the Technorati "Top 5K," with a rank of 3,499. Zoikes. How exciting! Thanks to everyone who reads this blog. I so much appreciate everyone's comments, links, blogrolls, RSS subscriptions, email subscriptions, and all the rest.

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Comments

I think that's a very interesting result. I've heard the same thing happens with students who are given awards for reaching certain academic goals. It doesn't take long for the students to view the money as the reason for motivation, instead of the satisfaction of accomplishing a difficult task, or succeeding on a hard project.

And actually, I think your strategy seems like a good one. Kids may be picky, but their thoughts and opinions are shaped by what they see around them. If McDonalds is portrayed as only a special treat, they'll want it more. If they see adults gleefully eating a huge dish of veggies, they'll have a more positive reaction than if they're told that they "must" eat their veggies before they can leave the table.

I remember being told that I had to eat something, and it just made me resent it all the more.

Yup, it's true, extrinsic motivation (rewards) is not a reliable way to change behavior. We and others are most likely to change when we really want to (intrinsic motivation) vs when others seek to change us.

We have a 3 year old who loves vegetables, fruits, and whole grains. Maybe the fact that we only gave him healthy foods from day 1 has something to do with that.

Your approach with the strawberries was on one I would take. In fact, maybe strawberries should be the reward for eating a brownie.

Congratulations to your ranking. Wow!

I'd say that your approach to healthy food will work in the middle to long run. We take the "if you won't eat it, fine, I love it"-approach all the time and our son eats everything. He loves sweets but he loves vegetables and fruit too.

I wonder how well we can trick our kids, though. My kid knows I love coffee and she finds it disgusting. (Luckily, she loves strawberries.)

Ultimately, I make her eat her broccoli (she sort of likes it but requires coaxing) and hope that the fact that I eat a ton of vegetables will be enough to make her realize eating vegetables is something people want to do. My mother ate a lot of salad, I eat a lot of salad. Maybe it will work that way? I hope!

When I was a kid, my mom made a huge deal out of how special and precious asparagus and artichokes were.

On the other hand, we had lobster all the time because my dad had traps.

To this day, all of us love asparagus and artichokes, and don't eat lobster.

my parents used that same approach with bedtime routines. at the proper time they would announce “you may go to bed now”. i was always happy to do so (i got to read in bed for a while before going to sleep, so that was a treat, too). it was always more preferrable than staying around with my parents who just did boring stuff like watching the news, i never got the impression i was missing out on something. to this day, whenever i finish chores after dinner and the day is done i always feel happy that i “may” go to bed now.

I saw a great program about this a while ago (Alas, I don't recall the name, was on BBC2 in the UK).

One of the ways they got kids to eat healthy was to put some bowls of healthy snack food like raisins and dried banana or some such, and then while putting them in plain sight, telling the kids they weren't allowed to eat them until later, which built up desire and when they were finally allowed to go for them, the kids snapped them all up.

One of the other experiments that sticks in my mind is they apparently, if you get a kid to eat something they don't like about 20 times, there is a 60% success rate in switching them to actually liking it, which shows it is worth persevering in getting kids to eat even just a little bit of healthy foods.

The reward issue is similar to blood donation. When people are given money, they are less likely to give blood because it takes away their kindness incentive and turns it into a painful way to make a few bucks.

My mom's friend never allow her son to eat any sugar, but his teeth were rotten. Turns out he's been doing homework for other kids in school to trade candies. Hide them in his socks and eat them in bed at night.

I'm not a parent, but I have a much younger brother that I help taking care of. We never have any problem eating healthy. To make kids eat healthy, you must make healthy food taste good - according to their palette. Scientists have found that children are more sensitive to bitterness than us. That's why they don't like coffee, tea and vegetables.

If they don't like salads, try curry veggies. I have never seen any kids who doesn't like Japanese curry. It's not spicy and it masks the bitter veggie taste. They are very easy to make and are available in average supermarkets.

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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