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My Twelve Commandments

  • 1. Be Gretchen.
  • 2. Let it go.
  • 3. Act as I would feel.
  • 4. Do it now.
  • 5. Be polite and be fair.
  • 6. Enjoy the process.
  • 7. Spend out.
  • 8. Identify the problem.
  • 9. Lighten up.
  • 10. Do what ought to be done.
  • 11. No calculation.
  • 12. There is only love.

If you'd like a copy of my resolutions chart

  • Just drop me an email. The first part is grubin (then that familiar symbol). The second part is gretchenrubin (then a period, then a com). Sorry to be convoluted--because of spam.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

Secrets of Adulthood.

  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It's nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don't require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they are fake holidays, it's nice to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day.
  • If you can't find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It's okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don't have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What's fun for other people may not be fun for you--and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.

Month-by-month goals for the Happiness Project.

  • December: The way of perfection.
  • November: Take the extra step.
  • October: Try hypnosis.
  • September: Write a novel.
  • August: Contemplate the heavens.
  • July: Buy a white t-shirt; throw away a white t-shirt.
  • June: Eat a peach.
  • May: Laugh out loud.
  • April: Remember birthdays.
  • March: Start a blog.
  • February: Sing in the morning.
  • January: Clear my closets.

My areas of focus for the Happiness Project

  • 1. Order
  • 2. Marriage and Family
  • 3. Work and Leisure
  • 4. Friends
  • 5. Conduct of Life--Exterior
    (loving-kindness, the duty to be happy, etc.)
  • 6. Conduct of Life--Interior
    (accept myself, live in the moment, etc.)

Happiness theories I reject.

  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”
  • G.K. Chesterton: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, and should never be rationalised.”
  • Solon: “Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.”

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« What I learned about happiness from my love of Harry Potter: lesson #2. | Main | If you want to encourage people to do something -- such as eat their vegetables -- why is it a bad idea to give them a prize? »

This Wednesday: Seven tips for having an original thought or finding a solution.

Lightbulb2Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Seven Tips for Having an Original Thought or Finding a Solution.

We all know the feeling of not being able to come up with an idea, a solution, or a strategy. Sometimes my head feels as empty as the Diet Coke cans that rattle around the corners of my office. So what can be done to get those brain wheels turning?

Here are seven tips for having an original thought. Some are backed up by hard science, some are folk strategies that I keep hearing about.

1. Go for a walk. Nietzsche wrote, “All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking,” and studies show that the combination of exercise and sunshine increases alertness, focus, and energy. Leave your cell phone behind to allow yourself to think without interruption.

2. Do a headstand. People who practice yoga swear that a headstand stimulates ideas – whether by the increased blood flow to the brain, or the reversed view of the world.

3. Think about a problem, then go to sleep. The dreaming mind keeps working and sometimes presents a solution. In one famous example, Friedrich Kekule dozed off while puzzling over the molecular structure of benzene. He dreamed of a snake whirling with its tail in its mouth, and when he awoke, he realized that benzene’s structure is a closed ring – a discovery for which he won the Nobel Prize.

4. Touch. Several friends have mentioned that touching, or being touched, helps them think—for instance, petting a dog, cuddling children, or getting a massage or manicure/pedicure. It certainly reduces stress, and maybe that’s why ideas begin to flow.

5. Public transportation. For me, looking out the window of a bus or train stimulates ideas. The changing view, the constant speed, the sense of progress, and the temporary suspension from the outside world frees my mind.

6. Shower. Taking a long shower works for lots of people.

7. Talk it out. My friend Michael Melcher, a career coach, pointed out that some people hit on their best ideas by “extroverting their intuition”; by talking to other people, they gain better access to their own ideas. Once he mentioned this notion of thinking-by-talking, I realized that how often, for me, a good idea came out of a conversation.

So what strategies am I overlooking? Do you have a way to spur yourself to think?

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I have a real fondness for reading blogs by economists, such as Greg Mankiw's Blog, because although the discussion often goes over my head, it sometimes exposes aspects of human nature that fascinate me -- as in Greg Mankiw's post today, about Giffen goods -- goods for which a lower price means LESS demand.

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If you're new to the Happiness Project, you may want to consider subscribing to my RSS feed: Subscribe to this blog's feed. Or sign up to get email updates in the box at the top righthand corner.

Comments

I check-out what some of the most creative people on the planet are doing:
http://www.apple.com/hotnews/

Number 7 is the one for me -- being a "verbal processor," I've heard it called. I often feel as if I don't know what I think until I actually hear myself saying it.

Great tips! I'm a visual person, I also find it helpful to just doodle on scrap paper.

I've been observing many creative people and see what their tricks are. There is a surprising correlation between daily rituals and creativity. Creative people tend to follow a rigid daily schedule. e.g. Scott Adams of Dilbert. He wakes at 5am every day including Sundays, walk downstairs, eat a banana, get a diet coke, walk to office, pet the cat, write the blog... He says what you need to be a cartoonist is banana, diet coke, cat and touch screen monitor. The blog post about his ritual: http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/06/how_to_make_a_c.html

Maybe it's because everything is on auto-pilot, they are more likely to free up their mind for more unusual ideas.

That's a very, very interesting point about daily ritual. Ritual would accomplish two things: removing distracting choices, and also keeping your rear in the chair (probably the hardest part of creativity). We tend to associate routine with "rigidity" and lack of creativity, but maybe it's just the opposite...
I always thought of myself as a person who thinks by writing, but now I'm seeing that talking, and even drawing, are very useful too. Bottom line: thinking is tough.

When I'm stumped on a problem, I often find that I must do something else. Something absorbing so that I won't keep thinking about the first problem. It breaks my thinking out of an unprofitable loop so that it can go explore other avenues of creativity.

Brainstorming is an old staple of engineers working on solving a problem that needs an original solution. Best with a group of people so that one person's wacky idea can spur the great idea of another. Start with a problem statement and start listing any idea - no matter how silly or far-fetched- that might be a solution. Also, there should be a rule against any form of censure or criticism - no "that's stupid" or "that won't work". After generating and tallying a bunch of ideas, then you can go through and evaluate them. See also "mind mapping".

3. Think about a problem, then go to sleep.
great! now i’d like to hear 7 tips on how to go to sleep when you have a problem on your mind. that’s really one of my biggest problems, not being able to stop thinking about a problem when wanting to go to sleep.
i like the tips, though. i usually use #1, and if that doesn’t help, #7. the public transportation tip amazed me - i hadn’t realized how many inspirations i get when riding the tram, but it’s true.
another one that helps for me: when i’m kind of “stuck” with a project and don’t know why, i make a list about what makes me uncomfortable about that project, what distracts me. often i proceed with a list how i’d rather have this project to be. that often leads to very creative insights.

I use visualisation. I think of the situation when the problem is solved: how is everybody feeling, what are their facial expression, body language etc., how does the room look, where are people situated etc. - as much detail as I can. I think of what people are saying to each other after the problem is solved. Then I start to go backwards, thinking of what just happened, how did we get there, how did we get to this feeling of relieve from a problem well solved? Somehow this often makes a solution obvious.

Usually when I can't come up with a solution to a problem I "let it stew." I think in pictures, so I visualize my brain as a stove with four burners. I use the front burners when I am actively working on something, but sometimes I need to put a problem on the back burner and let it stew for a while. I find that my best solutions come when I am not actively working on a problem, but just letting it sit for a while. My brain keeps working on it...probably even when I sleep.

Sketching is a lost art - especially with respect to problem solving outside the space of "design" or artwork. It's also a way to leverage the visualization and spatial aspects of how we think. Of course I'm a complete charlatan with the above assertion since I have yet to have a good idea. However, I'm basing it on reading Bill Buxton's "Sketching User Experiences" and he's fairly qualified in that regard.

Great tips, thanks =)

I often get stumped when I'm writing, so I go off and relax and read a book or magazine. Usually I'll stumble on an article or a passage that will help me with whatever topic I'm writing about.

Great post!

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My earth-shattering happiness formula.

  • To be happier, you need to think about FEELING GOOD, FEELING BAD, and FEELING RIGHT, in an atmosphere of growth. Clunky, but it works.

My second ground-breaking insight into happiness.

  • One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

LifeRemix

  • LifeRemix

What started me thinking.

  • "Whoever is happy will make others happy, too." Mark Twain.
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so.” St. Therese
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.” Samuel Johnson
  • “I must do the work that I am best suited for…” Edward Weston daybook
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope
  • “How slight and insignificant is the thing which casts down or restores a mind greedy for praise.” Horace

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