This Wednesday: Eight tips for how money CAN buy you happiness.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Eight tips for how money CAN buy you happiness.

I think that the relationship between money and happiness is one of the most interesting, most complicated, and most sensitive questions in the study of happiness.

Studies show, unsurprisingly, that money’s impact on happiness is greatest when you have the least amount of money.

But if you’re one of the lucky people who has enough money to cover the basics – food, shelter, even a car -- does that mean that money can’t make a difference to your happiness?

Some happiness experts argue yes, but I think that’s…ridiculous.

The secret to using money to buy happiness is to spend money in ways that support your happiness goals.

Imagine that you have a certain amount of extra cash. How should you spend it?

One option: a fancy new TV set. Enticing. The fact is, however, that the new TV won’t give you much happiness bang for your buck. The “hedonic treadmill” describes our tendency to adapt quickly to changed circumstances -- which means you’ll get a big kick out of the TV for a short while, but you’ll soon take it for granted.

The hedonic treadmill means that buying STUFF isn’t very satisfying, but there are ways to spend money that are likely to help give you enduring happiness. Spend money to…

1. Strengthen bonds with family and friends. Studies show that having close relationships is one of the most important elements of a happy life. Pay for a plane ticket to visit your brother’s new baby, go to your college reunion, throw a Superbowl party.

2. End marital conflict. If you’re constantly arguing about the unkempt lawn, or the moldering laundry, see if you can throw some money at the problem. Can you hire the teenager down the street to clean out the garage?

3. Upgrade your exercise. Studies show that one of the quickest and surest ways to boost your mood is to exercise. If spending money on a new iPod, a more convenient gym, or a new pair of yoga pants will make it easier to get yourself off the couch, that's a good happiness investment.

4. Think about fun. Ask yourself – and be honest – what’s fun for you? Fishing, bird-watching, travel, hunting through flea markets, experimenting in the kitchen, skiing, scrapbooking? Make sure that your calendar reflects some activities that you are doing just for FUN. For happiness, you’re better off using your money to have a great experience than to gain a possession.

5. Serenity and security. Peace of mind is critical to happiness, so use the money to pay down your debts or to add to your savings.

6. Pay more for healthy food. It’s a sad fact that fruits, vegetables, and healthy food are more expensive than fast food, but eating healthfully will pay off in the long run, in terms of your good health and energy.

7. Spend the money on someone else. One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make someone else happy. Think about ways you could spend the money that would make a big difference to someone else -- whether someone you know, or a cause you support. How many new books could the library's children's room add to the shelves?

8. Think about YOUR priorities. Two years ago, some friends decided to skip an anniversary trip so they could use the money to buy a super-expensive Dux bed. I thought this was a bad idea, because the “hedonic treadmill” would mean that they’d quickly get used to the new bed. Oh, no. They still rave about their Dux bed. So maybe that fancy new TV set would mean a lot to you, although I, for one, would hardly notice the difference. As always, the key to any happiness question is to know yourself, and what makes YOU happy.

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Comments

[Marco]

A though-provoking post. Happiness is not on sale, this we all know, but using extra-cash judiciously can increase our well being, as long as we don't consume our life in the attempt to earn it.

[Debi]

Last year for Valentine's Day, my husband gave me an Amazon.com gift certificate that I was determined I'd use for a frivolous purchase. I thought about getting wine or chocolate or flowers but decided I wanted something I could enjoy daily. My solution? A heated towel rack. I'd enjoyed them at plush hotel stays, but never would have considered actually buying one. But getting out of the shower and burying my face in a warm towel every morning still makes me smile :)

[Modern Worker]

I've gone ahead with #6 a lot lately and the benefits are extremely worth it. I've cooked all my meals for the past two months and feel 10 times better =)

[Maffalda]

Gretchen, have you seen this article?
The author published a book with the same name as your post.
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/SaveMoney/InvestInYourOwnHappiness.aspx

[Julianna]

And LOSS of money (especially in a big way with life-altering consequences) can be absolutely devastating, even if its through no fault of your own, i.e. market fluctuations.

[Susan]

I have to agree with your friends who illustrated point 8. I invested in an expensive new bed last year, and knew after my first night sleeping on it that it was worth every cent.
Once i had the bed i decided to upgrade my pillows and sheets - i now sleep better, take better care of my bedroom to reflect the centrepiece that is The Bed and get a little tingle of joy in knowing that i valued myself enough to take the time (and money) to get The Bed.
Good sleep, excercise, food - they're the foundation stones for happiness.

[Alice Bachini-Smith]

Don't you think those things are all possible without money too? Letter-writing doesn't cost much, and is a beautiful and disappearing relationship tool. One could mow the lawn yourself rather than fighting with one's husband. I've never met anyone who can afford a kitchen and can't afford basic fruit and vegetables instead of Macdonalds. Obviously people will disagree with all my points- I'm just not sure that money is really the essential part of your ideas here, so much as creativity, self-nurturing, relationship-building etc, which are not financial activities. Unless you believe that everything is necessarily easier with extra money- that would make an interesting post!

I feel that living on a limited income makes things simpler and easier, but maybe that's as delusional as the idea that money solves all problems :)

[Face Natural]

Happiness to me is an aromatherapy facial. I benefit physically and mentally from the herbs.

[Jim Outen]

Interesting list, although I have to disagree with #6 on your list. I have found over the past two years, as I have improved my diet slowly, that eating healthy foods is cheaper than highly processed/fast food/junk food. I primarily believe this is true because healthy food is more satisfying (water, fiber, and in certain flavor dimensions) than fast food. Therefore I eat less, eat better, and spend less (case in point, my weekly food budget is now about 50-60% of what it was two years ago).

[Marc]

A proven way to spend money to bring lasting happiness is to buy a more expensive house that shortens your commute. Having that extra time is well worth the $.

[Andromeda]

Yes, the bed people are totally right.

We got a new mattress halfway through my pregnancy. I'd been having sciatica problems, and they were really exacerbated by switching the mattresses, and I went to bed with my whole pelvis just hurting, and woke up feeling absolutely fine. Sciatica never got bad again.

You can acclimatize to not being in pain and start to take it for granted -- nonetheless, I guarantee you, if I woke up with a stiff back or pain in my hips more often, I would definitely be less happy.

[Tracy]

Hello! My first visit here--you have a very wonderful blog, and great tips for living As a firm believer in all you need it love and an open heart, I find what you're doing here inspirational! Happy Day! :o)

[Warren Murdoch]

Perhaps happiness is not only driven by individual hopes and desires, but culture and the time we live in.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Hmmmm...I agree that money isn't NECESSARY for happiness, but I do think that in many cases money makes it EASIER to pursue happiness goals. Some of the best things in life aren't free.
The point about pain is an excellent one. I've been thinking a lot lately about chronic pain and happiness, and I try to say to myself every morning, "Feel this! no pain!" So easy to take it for granted until the pain hits.

[Robert]

These are very good points, and we have used some of them for years. For example, after the birth of our first child, my wife was depressed because the house was messy and she was too tired and stressed to make herself breakfast in the morning, after trying to breastfeed all night. We realized this was a situation where "throwing money at the problem" would actually work. We had housecleaners come in every week, and she drove with the baby to a nearby cafe for breakfast each morning for a month. Total expenditure on these two things was a few hundred dollars, but she was much less stressed, happier, and well fed. Definitely worth it.

[Cozy Bed]

Hail to the new bed! Had our fancy latex mattress for over 5 years, and still not a night goes by where we don't crawl in and think about how lucky we are to have a nice roof over our heads and such a cozy bed. That's happiness!

[www.theHAPPINESSblog.com]

I recently reported www.thehappinessblog.com on a similar article as your's from an MSN Money story. It is amazing how much evidence there is that money can not buy happiness. However, the more we examine the relationship, we understand that money well- spent can actually increase happiness.
It is a great topic!

[Isabel]

Interesting post. Most of it makes sense--especially visiting friends and thinking about priorites: I barely even watch TV but I love knitting, so if I were a bajillionaire I'd never knit with wool again, it would be all cashmere all the time! Mmmm cashmere.

I'm not sure I agree with #2 though. If the problem is, as it seems to be in a lot of relationships, that the woman is doing all the housework and wants the husband to help out, I don't know that getting someone else to do the laundry is going to really get rid of her resentment that he seems (from her perspective) to see housework as her role, even if she works too.

[AgentSully]

I love these ideas. Sometimes people want to hold onto unhappiness in order to be "right" or because it's a little harder to do. These are great prompts to change for the positive!

[penny]

I am a single mother living paycheck to paycheck, and I am happier than anyone I know. Why? Because extra money is not required to achieve any of the happiness goals listed, and could actually interfere with achieving them.

Strengthen bonds with family and friends? Ummm - wouldn't living closer than a plane ride away be more effective?

Ease marital conflict? Wouldn't consideration, maturity, and compatibility be more genuine and effective? And what if you can't agree on which kid to hire or how much to pay him or whether or not he does a good job, or, or..

Exercise? I am thinner and healthier than my wealthy friends, some of whom have personal trainers, because I dance for 30 minutes every morning - in my nightie & without an ipod.

Fun? Think about the most fun you've ever had in your life, then ask yourself how much it cost.

Serenity & security? Think of people you know whose serenity and security is primarily dependent upon how much money they have. Are they serene and secure?

Healthy food? Fresh meat & produce is much cheaper than fast food, and a whole lot cheaper than eating out.

Spend money on someone else? How about spending time with someone else?

When we're not scrambling desperately to earn more money to make ourselves happier to ease marital conflict to buy a plane ticket to visit our loved ones maybe twice a year, to join the best gym and purchase the coolest workout suit, to eat at organice gourmet restaurants, and of course to feel serene and secure, perhaps we will be able to give what is of greatest value to others: our time and attention. Who knows, that might ease marital conflict too.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Penny, I applaud your ability to get a huge amount of happiness without spending a dollar. For some people, though, money can really help. Not everyone can choose to live near their parents, for a variety of reasons. Also, people's natures differ, and so their passions differ, and some passions are more expensive than others. For example, I do not like opera, or music of any sort really. Therefore I don't want to buy tickets to operas or concerts. I don't have wanderlust, so I don't long to go to Thailand or Egypt. I don't have a big affection for animals. Gosh, people spend so much money on their DOGS! And that seems to bring them happiness.
So again, I would say: money isn't NECESSARY for happiness, but it can make happiness EASIER.

[MoreTimeAndMoney]

"Those who say money can't buy happiness, don't know where to shop."

Anonymous

[Snigel]

Brilliant post and not at all what I thought it would be when I read the title. Some of the points were obvious, but that's to be counted on (perhaps some of the ones I thought original were old to other readers).

I'll browse the site and see if I find something more of interest. I have thought a lot on many of the subjects you bring up, so it shall be interesting to see if any of the conclusions match.

[www.tripsavvytravel.com]

I agree with the comment, I’ve never owned nice furniture just badly hand me down junk that the family discarded. Although grateful to have it, with my last tax refund instead of paying off a credit card I bought new living room furniture and 3 tables that match.

I’m not a material girl to this point at nearly 45 years old the only nice things I own are my 2004 Intrepid, my beautiful bedspread, and my computer. I’ve never been one to buy stuff for the house after all I just live there…. I only have one picture on the wall and the other picture I own is resting on the floor in my bedroom.

It’s been about 3 months since I purchased the furniture and every day when I come home I can’t believe it is really mine, I actually feel like an adult, I own big girl furniture. I know how silly that sounds.

I run my fingers over the top of the couch when I come in and out of the door, (I have to stop that or it will get it dirty). To me it was a huge frivolous expense that I agonized over, because I do live paycheck to paycheck. I’m also a giver, and to purchase something for myself seems wrong.

But the joy that furniture has given me has surprised me; it helped me drag myself out of a depression since my car accident. I sleep on it almost every night (I still have the 30 year old hand me down mattress) I also used a portion of the money to start a home based business, to get me out of a job that I despise since the company reorganization.

I feel the same way as the folks with the new bed, I keep the dog off the couch, make everybody use coasters before they set their drink down, and keep my house a little cleaner too.

I never thought that I would agree with the statement that money can buy you happiness but in this case I do. I suppose it’s because yes, I am worth owning something nice, (my self esteem took a huge hit after the divorce). But I’m coming back strong.

Now if I had only known after 5 years I’d still be living in my apartment I would have painted the walls!

Sincerely,
Dolores

[Wes]

Chiropractic saves lives and in the long run, the money you will spend on get better quick drugs, that will kill you in the less long run. Be smart America