My HUGE happiness epiphany – happiness projects for everyone! Be happier now!

Yesterday, I posted a description of the charts I use to help myself stick to my resolutions, and I offered to send a copy of my charts to anyone who wanted to see them. (Just email me, grubin [at] gretchenrubin[.com], typed the usual way.)

I’ve had an overwhelming response. People are really interested in seeing those charts. I was surprised and extremely gratified, and then it hit me –

OF COURSE. My mission in life is to try to persuade everyone to try to undertake a happiness project! I am a happiness evangelist.

Somehow, I’d never thought about it quite this way – even though implicit in the idea of keeping this blog is the desire to help other people learn from my happiness project.

But I never thought about explicitly trying to help people figure out how to go about designing their own happiness projects, beyond just reacting to mine.

It took a huge amount of reflection and self-examination for me to design my happiness project. I learned a lot, I think, about the questions to ask yourself to devise a happiness project. Everyone's happiness project is going to be unique, that's clear.

So I’ve decided to make this a new theme on the blog: discussion of how to design your own happiness project, and then how to carry through on your resolutions.

Join me! Start a happiness project of your own! We’ll start a movement. And it really does work.

Here I go, on The Happiness-Project Project:

Role models: Benjamin Franklin, Samuel Johnson
Mission: Be happier now.
Motto: Do good, feel good.
Symbol: Bluebird
Patron Saint: Saint Therese of Lisieux
The Two Splendid Truths:
1. To be happier, think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
2. One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy.
One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

More to come…I need to think about this.

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A new site that has a huge amount of fun information is Truemors. It's a place where people can post any news they want to make public to the world -- a kind of online newspaper to which you can submit a bite-sized article. Perfect if you feel like hopscotching around a bunch of different topics, sampling here and there -- or if you have a piece of news or opinion you're dying to share.

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Comments

[Mrs Micah]

I like this new idea. And think, by helping others be happy (through sharing how to start a happiness project) you can be even happier.

Today the Red Line Metro in DC was painfully slow. It took maybe an extra 10 minutes for my normal commute. As I was standing there, fuming angrily to myself, I thought "What would Gretchen be doing/thinking right now?" Unfortunately, I couldn't reframe it and I let it get to me. Having that pop into my head, though, is an improvement. Now I can address it as a happiness issue, instead of thinking about how stupid metros and people can be.

-MM

[HP van Duuren]

Yes an intersting idea,

As a matter of a fact I already have some sort of 'Happiness Project' going on it's about having created a 'VISION' for it.

I 'heared' you talk about 'Happiness Evangelist' I actually created a new word for people that work on their vision I call somebody working on a Vision for it, a
'VISION VIBER' this word actually has been on 'NR 1' on the Google Search engine for a short moment! :)

Recently I asked a few friends to give me some honest feedback about what they thought about my site, I listened carefully and improved it now.

So I would be delighted te get some feedback and hear what you think of my Happiness Project, I would be Happy to receive some feedback.

Because just as sticking to resolutions by letting others look at it, getting good feedback is an important part of making things happen.

All the Best,
HPvD.

All the Best,

[Jecca]

Congratulations on your epiphany! I love that you have a symbol and patron saint.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I feel sheepish that this wasn't clear to me before. I mean -- what did I think I was doing with this blog? but sometimes the most obvious things are the hardest to see.

[adora]

I have a Keep-Tryin'-blog to help me overcome fear of failure. I was upset for a long time after rejected by Harvard grad school. (Yeah, totally crazy) It's my version of Happiness project. It isn't always focus on the theme, but keeping log of some progress helps me grow and thus happier.

-adora's Keep Tryin' project-
Role models: Mozart, Lu Xun, Irina Slutskaya and everyone who works hard to achieve excellency.
Mission: Overcome fear of failure.
Motto: Keep Trying!
Symbol: Lotus flower
Theme song: Keep Tryin' by Utada Hikaru
One Truth: Talent is a myth - high-level achievement is impossible without hard work & persistence. (a.k.a. Passion)

Now I'm going to draw a lotus for my blog. This movement is fascinating!

[Susannah]

Have you considered making the forms available for download from your blog?

I just stumbled upon your site 2 days ago and am totally addicted. I'm not even really into blogs. Anyway, nice work!

[Hanna]

I think many people who stay on your site already are on a mission for more happiness in their life. I know I am, but I think it became clearer when I found your blog in the beginning of this year. March? Anyway, I just smiled when I read about your epiphany, why do you think we all come here? Why do you think there is so many blogs popping up with advices and lists about everythiing in life from productivity to zen life? :-) But I agree with you, a segment with your help not only about your life but about how I can improve my life, would be awesome. On my wish list would be:
How do I write my own commandmends?
I've been thinking about writing my own since I read your list, but it is diffucult... I don't know why. It just becomes a list of TO DO's for me. My friend told me I'm so ambitious that I don't get things done because I have to much I want to do - each day! :-)

thanks gretchen, again.

[Steve]

Gretchen, this blog is wonderful. I've been meaning to ask-- can you please post a more detailed explanation of one of your truths: "To be happier, think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth." Or maybe you did post about this earlier and I just missed it. Anyway, this is a very intriguing statement but it's not 100% clear to me. Many thanks.

[Gretchen Rubin]

These comments are really helping me figure out how to start helping other people design their own happiness projects.

Adora -- I love YOUR happiness project. So fascinating, so creative to see how you filled out the categories for yourself. I need a theme song! What are other descriptive categories that a happiness project should have? A friend of mine went to a conference where you had to describe your work in three words, which is how I came up with "Be happier now." But you described yours with "Keep Tryin," just two words!

Coming up with my Twelve Commandments was tough. I know just what you mean, it turns into a to-do list when you want it to be more transcendant. I need to think about how I did that...also I'm going to do a series of posts on how I came up with each phrase and what it means. The commandment "Spend out," for example, is pretty cryptic.

Ah, the First Splendid Truth! Zoikes it was an exciting day when I figured that out. Here is a post where I talk about it:

http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2007/02/a_refinement_of.html

[Gretchen Rubin]

Also -- if you'd like to get a copy of my resolution charts, just email me at grubin [at] gretchenrubin [.com]. I put in the brackets to frustrate spammers, but just type it like an ordinary email. I'm happy to send you a copy. Anytime -- don't worry if you read this six months from today, doesn't matter.

[Juhli]

You have inspired me to read more about happiness and choice and to start to apply your principles to my life. It's having a payback already. I just finished the Paradox of Choice and am getting ready to read both How to Want What You Have and Boswell's Life of Johnson. No formal happiness project yet but it is a great idea!

[Michael M]

Gretchen, because of you my partner and I made a scrapbook about our trip to Montana. It made us happy, both individually and collectively.

[Jean Browman--Cheerful Monk]

My CheerfulMonk blog is "Devoted to happiness as a spiritual practice.". It's a concept I've been playing with for years, so it's nice to find some company. Thanks!

[Beth]

Gretchen, I just giggled through this whole post - your effervescent delight just shines!

I had my own "happiness epiphany" last night - at the end of a long, stressful, busy summer following a fairly quiet spring. I'm really happiest when I'm incredibly busy, but being that busy all the time is hard, and stressful in harmful ways. So my new "happiness project" is to find a sustainable middle path, with enough of both invigorating eustress and neccessary self-nurture. Hmm...

[Justin Roepel]

Here is the beginning of my personal happiness project.

My 12 Commandments:
1. Forgive Yourself.
2. Treat Myself As I Would Treat Others.
3. Be classy
4. Experiment—get out of the rut; boredom
will kill you and your relationships.
5. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.
6. Get Outside.
7. Become the Person You Want To Be.
8. Baby Steps
9. What Other People Think of Me is None of
My Business.
10. Breathe, Relax.
11. Keep Learning.
12. Lock away the past, and forget about the
future. All that exists is now.

[Mike]

Find more ways to break the mold of marriage with new tantric positions or new foods or less family routine; nobody like each day to blend into the next do they?

I'm posting a Noblopomo since it's a listing them or theme of lists -

Have a great new 36 months until next leap day!

[Shaki Hussain]

Hiya!

Please can you send me a copy of the charts you use?

Many thanks!
Shaki.

[Gina]

I have only recently found your site, but I am loving the idea of starting my own happiness project and documenting the progress on my own blogs. (one is for my shiatsu practice, in which I want to include tips for achieving well-being... top of the list: proper perspective!)

Thank you!!

[Jim Travisano]

Wow, what a great site! Inspired by this blog, I've decided to create my own happiness project am keeping an online photo essay entitled Muddling Toward Simplicity (URL above), wherein I share the joys of the first harvest of new potatoes, the benefits of a rain barrel and the colors to be found in the garden after a June sun shower. Please stop by!

[gilda]

hello. i decided to start my own happiness project too! and linked your site in it. people need to be happier. me included. :)

[Aaron Agassi]

The problem with my happiness project is that it I can't do it alone. So, won't you join me? Know more at: http://www.FoolQuest.com

[william eckert]

More shameless self promotion for financial gain....."it will be on the shelves...." tapping into the room temp I.Q. public who want the quick fix to a legitimate concern and are too lazy to do the work. Is there still enough room on the "Self Help" shelves for more of this garbage?

[Lawrence J. Danks]

Hi Gretchen,
Your "Happiness Project" is a great idea. I've read many happiness and self-help books in preparation for writing "Your Unfinished Life", which should be available by early November. Chapter samples appear on the website of the same name. The book's goal is to help bring happiness to the lives of givers and receivers. It's premise is that if we're kinder, we'll be happier and also get to know ourselves a lot better -- and a whole lot sooner. It's taken me almost sixty-four years to realize that. I hope it doesn't take others as long and that the book will help.

While there isn't a solitary road to happiness, one that is clearly consistent with your Motto of "Do good, feel good" and with one of your Splendid Truths, that one of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy, is just to be kinder. It is consistent with the thoughts of Aldous Huxley,The Dalai Lama,happiness experts Martin Seligman and Sonja Lyubomirsky, and many others I've quoted, who agree that genuine happiness and gratification is found in helping,service and kindness. Best wishes for "The Happiness Project" and for every success with your upcoming book.

[jane]

WHY do I need a happiness project? You don't even know me! This is one of the most shallow blogs I've seen in a long time. "Happiness" like it's a tee vee commercial or something. Whatever for? Life is both and, hon. Happiness is when you recgonize that. How about just living with ups and downs, anything else is ignorance.

Splendid Truths? What publicist came up with THAT? Sounds like the name of a soap opera, and about as deep. How can one be happy when this is what passes for intellectual pursuit in our culture.

[Larry Danks]

Hi Gretchen,

I wrote a comment to your blog on August 18th. I should have the finished book "Your Unfinished Life" in about four weeks.It's currently a pre-order on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. My happiness project has been this book and I'd like to send it to you. You're doing a good thing. I believe you'll find kindred thoughts in it. Just let me know any address where it could be sent to you. Please feel free to use anything from it to foster your good purposes.

Best wishes and continued success with your Happiness Project.

Cordially,
Larry Danks

[Laura Tlhalerwa]

Hi Gretchen
I am only 20years and i have attempted suicide twice so far but i have come to realise in more than one ways that there is more to life than trying to satisfy evryone around you. It has been almost 2months now since my attempted suicide and i am more than proud to inform you that i am undergoing psychological rehabilitation and i am starting my happiness project, something i have always wanted to do. It makes me happy to make others happy as well as myself, i have learnt it the hard way but all i am happy for is that i found my nirvana somewhere along my life and at quite a young age.. Now i'll be able to live a happy life all my life, atleast most of it as we can not stay at our nirvana forever.

Lots of Love

Laura Tlhalerwa

[Plato69]

Happiness is not a condition or a state of being, but an ephemeral emotion supplied by the neutrons of the brain; it is an illusion invented by capitalists so more people believe in it. What we should seek is balance and harmony--the true path.

[Tanya Monteiro]

Hello Gretchen,
I love this idea of the happiness project and its been mulling in my head for weeks now. I've not been able to find your email add. as what I want to discuss is not really related to this although it is one of my happiness projects. Could I email you privately?
Thank you
Tanya

[Brad Clark]

Re A Treat will cheer you up. I think you've hit it right on the head, Gretchen, and when you work at it long enough you will not even be able to attain that momentary "rush" of self-indulgence because you will know up front that ultimately the behavior you are pondering IS BAD FOR YOU. You say you want to be happy? Do the dishes!

[Randy Zeitman]

Perhaps the insight you have is that you OWN responsibility (or have become attached) for helping make people happen.

As for Jane..."WHY do I need a happiness project?"

Well that's why...because what's the happiness level of a person who posted that?

"You don't even know me!"

Ok, well I know lots of people that I think are exactly like you and they all need a happiness blog.

Did I have to know you to know you need food and water and sleep? Course not. Happiness (well being) is a basic need so no one needs to "know you" to know what you need.

[sd st.claire]

thank you, gretchen. joy is a gift, like faith. let us think to ask for it, pray for it. joy is enlivening. people who are happy do so much good AND do no harm. it's revolutionary!

[Mark downmom]

Please involve science: http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090518/sc_livescience/happinessisbeingoldmaleandrepublican

[p.laughter (twitter alias)]

I suffer from clinical depression. Basically I've got my hands full just staying sane on a day to day basis

However, along the 'do good, feel good' lines, I've started a twitter account at @ProjectLaughter, to which I post anything that could (possibly, hopefully) make someone smile or laugh.

Twitter's one hundred and forty word restriction makes contributing to others amusement simple and manageable...two elements essential for anyone battling depression. It helps that I've got an archive of bookmarks to stuff that makes me smile...something I stockpiled during a particularly bad stretch.

Just thought you should know.

@ProjectLaughter

[Eleanor Covino]

I would like you to talk about the disappointments of AMERCIAN parents who's children apply for Med-School close to home but have to leave the state because their spots are taken away from them by all the people outside our country who have first choices.
It is so wrong and it is hard to remember to be happy. Why should our children be taken advantage of?

[Rebecca]

Hi Gretchen,

I think what you're doing here is very cool and inspiring. I found The Happiness Project through Sarah Fain's Starfish Envy blog, and I'm trying to decide if a) blogging is for me, and b) if starting a Happiness Project would be the way to go. I'm DEFINITELY on a quest for renewed happiness, since having a baby has led me into a little happiness detour. What are the parameters of a Happiness Project? Can I just start to blog and invite others to join me in the search for happiness? Can I shield my identity somewhat so I can be more honest than I might otherwise be?

If there's a page that addresses all of this, just point me to it!

Many, many thanks,

Rebecca