The Happiness Project: The happiness of COMING HOME from a vacation.

THE HAPPINESS PROJECT is the memoir of the year I spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier – happily, it was a #1 New York Times bestseller. As one of the hundreds of experiments I've conducted, I started this blog. Here, I recount my daily adventures in pursuit of happiness. –

Gretchen Rubin

Twelve Personal Commandments

Four Splendid Truths

First: To be happier, you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
Second: One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
Third: The days are long, but the years are short. (click the link to see my one-minute movie)
Fourth: You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy.

30-Second
TV Commercial

What Started Me Thinking

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
"Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
“A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
“Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
“Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
Sartre: "Hell is other people."
Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

The happiness of COMING HOME from a vacation.

As much as I’ve enjoyed our vacation, I’m happy that we’re heading home tomorrow.

I always feel this way on a trip, and it has bothered me that I don’t seem to be able to enter into the holiday spirit more completely.

Am I a slave to routine? Lacking in a zest for new experiences? A workaholic? Overly dependent on my familiar creature comforts?

But I’ve decided to “Be Gretchen” without judging. I should be happy that I’m always thrilled to be going home, instead of getting the Sunday blues that a lot of people feel at the end of a vacation. Why look for a reason to criticize myself, instead of feeling grateful for feeling that way?

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Posted August 10, 2007

Comments

My parents always told us, when we were kids, that one of the great things about vacation is that it makes you appreciate home that much more! Don't feel bad: I think it shows that you like your life! I think people with the "Sunday Blues" are the ones who have the bigger problem!

Posted by: Jessica | August 10, 2007 at 01:21 PM

Yet again, I know exactly how you feel. I love to travel and see new places, but I am very comforted by coming home to the familiar, and appreciating what I have. I am naturally a creature of habit, and I think we all feel a somewhat more sense of control when we're back in our routine. I really just don't want to be one of those "old people" who get to where they don't want to ever leave home and/or complain about everything when they do travel!

Posted by: Sharyn | August 10, 2007 at 02:23 PM

I know exactly what you mean with this. I always love coming home and my house always seems to look different somehow when i come home, which is strange.

Posted by: Steven Aitchison | August 10, 2007 at 03:34 PM

Well I think that the way we think determines how we feel,

So you might have a few thoughts or unconsiouss thoughts that make you feel like that. You probably just might have a lot of 'good thoughts' about being home. Don't think that there something wrong with that. Maybe we just better not think to much :)

All the Best,
HP

Posted by: HP van Duuren | August 10, 2007 at 04:45 PM

I'm going home from vacation tomorrow too and I am happy to be going home as well. Though it in no way indicates that I haven't had a good time. We always say in my family that that's how you know you've had a good vacation; when you are rested and have had enough fun and you are ready to return to the daily routine. Though I have had those vacations that I wished would never end, there is always so much relief to be found at home. I think of it as a blessing to feel this way.

Leanne

Posted by: Leanne | August 10, 2007 at 05:27 PM

I've always thought that one of the best things about vacation is coming home. I don't think it takes away from the trip or means you didn't enjoy it. It means you love your life and your home -- and that's a great thing!

Posted by: Beth | August 11, 2007 at 07:03 AM

I think that being excited to return home is one of the keys to happiness, since being home is where you are most. It is completely consistent with your Secrets of Adulthood: "What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE."

Just think how awful it would be if you hated coming home and pined everyday to be on vacation? What a miserable life that would be, and yet we all know people like that.

Sounds like this piece of Gretchen is wise without even realizing it! :-)

Posted by: Louise | August 11, 2007 at 12:23 PM

I don't tell many people that I was happier on the first day my husband and I got back to our half-organized apartment than on the two weeks of honeymooning which preceded it. The apartment was HOME! Ideally, one could be at home anywhere, but I think it's best to love one's everyday surroundings better than one loves vacations (even if you're the vacationing type). Because otherwise, that would be an unhappy life.

-MM

P.S. I find your site fascinating. I think I'm going to read back through it, as one reads a book. :-)

Posted by: Mrs. Micah | August 12, 2007 at 12:04 AM

Travel takes us away from our common days, into a different place. The difference rejuvenates our delight in the common days. We see it in perspective, get ideas, and renewed energy as we catch our breath. Once we feel refreshed, we start anticipating our new insights and want to get back to those common days and make them special. Loving to go away, and loving to return is what makes all the work worthwhile!

Posted by: travelinoma | August 12, 2007 at 12:32 AM

I know people who are not as happy as you to come home from vacations. It's because they hate their real lives and jobs. Be really happy that you aren't one of them.

Posted by: ciocia | August 12, 2007 at 05:22 AM

I’ve nominated you Rockin’ Girl Blogger. The point is to mention some blogs you like, so others can discover them too. You can send this nomination forward if you want to, or not. No pressure :-)

Posted by: HildeC | August 12, 2007 at 04:04 PM

everyone shares my sentiment above, and I've definitely been on "that vactation that lasted too long" and boy, that sucks worse than a vacation that ends too soon. i am having a similar sentiment about getting back to "work" in that i've had almost 3 months "off" to a degree and i'm really looking forward to getting into the office/colleague/productivity routine next week!

Posted by: funchilde | August 12, 2007 at 05:47 PM

Just had this experience last week and boy did it feel good.

Posted by: Modern Worker | August 16, 2007 at 11:17 AM

I recently went on a three-week academic trip to China, and I admit that the best part was getting home to Harry Potter, iced tea and Mac'n'Cheese.

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Gretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.