It’s Friday: think about YOUR Happiness Project. How can you have more fun?

Not long ago, I had an epiphany – happiness projects for everyone! And people have responded enthusiastically.

Hundreds of people have emailed me to get a copy of my resolution charts, to use for inspiration. (If you’d like a copy, email me, grubin [at] gretchenrubin[.com] – ignore the anti-spam brackets.)

Jackie Danicki started the Happiness Project group on Facebook, and so far, almost 700 people have joined. Check it out.

Many people have started blogs themselves, to chart their own happiness projects. Our Happiness Project is an excellent example, really a great read.

One purpose of this blog, of course, is to help other people learn from my happiness project. But given this response, I’ve been thinking it would be a good idea to do a weekly post explicitly aimed at helping people design their own happiness projects, beyond just reacting to mine. It took me a lot of research and reflection to figure out how to set up a happiness project, so maybe I can help others to do it, too.

So I’ve decided to make this a new theme on the blog: how to design your own happiness project.

These posts won’t be arranged in any particular order. I love the peerless Flylady’s reassurance: “You’re not behind, you're just getting started!!” No need to start at the beginning or get caught up; just jump in whenever. So, without further ado...

Your Happiness Project: Today’s question for self-examination is -- how can you have more fun?

My First Splendid Truth about happiness is: to think about your happiness, you must think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.

Research shows that the absence of “feeling bad” doesn’t mean that you “feel good.” You must actually strive to find sources of “feeling good.” Having fun on a regular basis is a pillar of happiness.

Having fun sounds easy, but it’s not. Take the time to do some real self-reflection. As you ask yourself, “How can I have more fun?” keep two things in mind:

1. You must be honest about what’s actually fun for you. It’s a Secret of Adulthood: just because something is fun for someone else doesn’t mean it’s fun for you, and vice versa. Wine-tasting, skiing, baking cookies, reading mysteries—I personally would NOT enjoy any of these “fun” activities. They’re fun for some people; not for me. Don’t try to be self-improving, and don’t plan a “fun” event based on what other people would enjoy. Make time for something that’s fun for YOU.

2. Do have real fun. I often feel so overwhelmed by tasks that I think, “The most fun would be to cross some items off my to-do list. I’d feel so much better if I could get something accomplished.” In fact, though, I just make myself feel trapped and drained. If I take time to do something that’s truly fun for me (re-read Jane Eyre for the fifteenth time, call my sister), I feel better able to tackle that to-do list.

I’m going to break a lifelong vow here – never to quote Dr. Seuss for a nugget of life philosophy. When I was reading The Cat in the Hat to the Little Girl, these five lines hit me so hard I simply can’t resist.

Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun
But you have to know how.

So very true. You do have to know how to have fun -- and it takes serious reflection.

In case Dr. Seuss isn’t convincing, I’ll also invoke Samuel Butler:

“One can bring no greater reproach against a man than to say that he does not set sufficient value upon pleasure, and there is no greater sign of a fool than the thinking that he can tell at once and easily what it is that pleases him. To know this is not easy, and how to extend our knowledge of it is the highest and most neglected of all arts and branches of education.”

Have fun! Join me! Start a happiness project of your own! We’ll start a movement. And it really does work. You can make yourself happier.

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On second thought -- is this a bad idea? Is posting about "YOUR Hapiness Project" once a week going to seem redundant and didactic? Two great things about a blog is that 1) your readers can respond and 2) you can change what you're doing at any time. So let me know if you think it's a good idea or not.

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If you're starting your own happiness project, please join the Happiness Project Group on Facebook to swap ideas. It's easy; it's free.

Comments

[Keely H.]

I think that weekly posts that help other people with their happiness projects are a great idea. It goes with your "second groundbreaking insight into happiness." Writing the "how to create your own happiness" posts will make other people happy which will make you happier, plus you said you enjoyed writing these types of posts so just the act of writing the posts makes you happier which also makes others happier. (Assuming I'm interpreting the law correctly... hmmm) Bottom line: I say go for it. That's my two cents.

[Hanna]

It is A GREAT AND GENEROUS idea!!!!!

[Michael Sporer]

Dr. Seuss is real wisdom! "Oh the Places You'll Go" is a great one for high-school grads. It is one of my favorites. I've learned from and live by the ideas in "Green Eggs and Ham". After all, life is all about choices.

[Pippa]

Gretchen, what a wonderful idea! Since I met your Happiness Project and started my own, I have experienced so much good in my life. Any encouragement from someone on the same road ~ and with your lucid insight ~ in stimulating our thoughts and self-awareness ... well, that just makes me happy and excited!

Thank you. :)

[Jennifer]

I will echo the above sentiments and say that I think it's a great idea. I personally appreciate being nudged in the right direction by being given some ideas for increasing my own state of happiness.

[Broom]

It's a GREAT idea. Thank you, Gretchen. You have inspired me to introspect like never before and I'll be happy for some help.

[amanda]

this is a great idea!! Ironically I've been doing some career exploration and had trouble finding something that makes me happy. I need to find out more about myself. My career coach suggested reading your blog, and this post basically fits perfectly with our project!! keep it up! :)

[Donna]

It's a nice idea but please don't forget those of us whose Happiness Project IS reading your blog. Love the Wednesday tip day.

[Tamlyn]

I think it is a wonderful idea! I am starting up my own happiness project and these posts will be VERY helpful! :D

[Ann]

While I don't have a happiness project or blog, I think others may enjoy reading other people's happiness projects or blogs. You may want to consider "featuring" a happiness blog each Friday in addition to your regular post on "Your Happiness Project".

[Joy Weese Moll]

I love this idea. It will help me with my Happiness Project--I'm documenting it on 43 Things: http://www.43things.com/things/view/1730401

[HP van Duuren]

Dancing usually works for me.

To get an idea about having this kind of fun just have a look at my little post about the 'Happy Dance'.

http://hpshappy.blogspot.com/2007/10/happy-dance.html

All the Best,
HP

P.S. (feel free to let me know what you think.)

[Cecily]

Gretchen,
I think this is a great idea. As a writer it has inspired me to take more time in my day-to-day busyness to think about all the little things that make me happy. Whether it's a smile from a friend in the newsroom, a good joke shared with colleagues, and so on. I also feel that it will allow more people to use their (in some cases untouched and neglected) creativity. It will be a great way for people to reflect on something each day that makes them feel great and truly happy.
Well done!

[mieoux]

Thank You! This is a wonderful idea! I feel happier already because of it.

[LisaNewton]

I have found my "happiness" project. Thank you so much.............:)

[Pete Cohen]

I love your project, here's something sort-of related, here's a happiness formula i created with clinical psychologist Dr Carol Rothwell.

http://www.petecohen.com/go/life-coaching/happiness-formula/

best,
Pete