I've made an important new resolution: no more complaining about how tired I feel.

I’ve decided to nip a new bad habit in the bud.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been complaining constantly. “I’m exhausted,” “I feel so drained,” “I don’t have the energy to go to the park/organize a family playdate/run that errand.”

I’m sticking to my exercise routine. I’m going to sleep at a reasonable hour. I’m not sick. I’ve been trying the various tips I know about how to get a quick energy boost. I think that, from time to time, I just feel worn out. Then I feel better. This has happened before.

But I’m not giving myself a boost (or anyone else, certainly) by constantly repeating that I’m tired.

One of the critical pieces of information I’ve learned from the Happiness Project is that I should act the way I want to feel. If I want to feel more energetic, I need to act more energetic: pace when I talk on the phone, walk more quickly, put more energy into my voice.

This sounds like magical thinking, but hard science show that the “Fake it ‘till you feel it” strategy really works.

The least productive approach is to do what I’ve been doing – dwelling on my feelings of tiredness.

Of course, if this tiredness persists, I’ll go to the doctor. But I think it’s just a periodic bout of lethargy.

And with that last comment, I vow, I’ll stop talking about how tired I feel. As Samuel Johnson observed, “To hear complaints is wearisome alike to the wretched and the happy.”

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For a long time, I've been fascinated by Chris Anderson's theory of the Long Tail, put forth in his book, The Long Tail. I visit his blog The Long Tail to hear what new insights he has.

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Comments

[Valerie-Anne]

I am another proof of «When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.» I've been feeling exhausted for the last two weeks...and complaining a lot about it! I am definetely going to try your tip! Thanks!

[Debi]

I had this same epiphany a couple of weeks ago. My solution (other than "No Whining") was to make myself take a big drink of water every time I said, or started to say, "I'm tired." Many say that dehydration is widespread and a prime symptom is tiredness. It, combined with trying to get a reasonable amount of rest, is really starting to help. (I've got a night-waking 4-year-old, so it's been a struggle to get my rest.)

Thanks so much for your continuing inspiration and I hope you feel better soon! 8-D

[Taylor @ ImprovLifestyle]

Where I work, we are constantly pushing our bodies to the limit. And everyone says "I'm tired", and I think, "why are they saying this?"

I think it has 2 things involved:

1. If someone else is also tired, you now have a common struggle, and have instant rapport.

2. If someone else ISN'T tired, you are asking for sympathy from them (which can be boiled down to needing attention). I don't think that's a bad thing, when used in moderation. Everyone needs attention.

[Liz Craft]

Gretchen -- I know this isn't your style, but I suggest going for a facial/massage/body scrub. Forced relaxation!

[lovelydisturbance]

what a great idea!

sometimes, just speaking about the glass being half full, instead of half empty... you begin to embrace the positive aspects of your life.

i am trying to stay on my exercise regimine too... it definitely improves my spirits and my energy level by frequenting the gym.

[Pippa]

I am SO with you on this one, Gretchen. This is just what I decided yesterday about being happy. Funny, just saying "I am happy" or "I have energy" really does make a difference! Language is powerful!

All the very best in finding that energy and making your own miracles.

[Ella]

I know you are already very focused on bedtime, but you might try this: try going to bed even earlier than you ordinarily would, per your post about the 9:30 night. I get into these periods of lethargy too (am going through one right now) and the only thing that seems to help is to go to bed at 10:00 every single night without fail - if I do that for a week or so, I feel better. (I have a four-year-old and a baby, so if I don't get into bed at ten there is no chance that I will get enough sleep.)

[Rich]

Gretchen,

That is an excellent resolution... so excellent that I have a follow-up question:

Your advice is just perfect for someone I know. But how do I convey this advice to her? Sending a link to your post could be (mis)interpreted as "Stop complaining!", whereas what I really mean is, "Here's a way to feel better." Any thoughts?

[CLH]

I guess I don't understand why the first step wouldn't be reflection or investigation? Checking in with yourself about your physical or emotional landscape, the patterns there, and bringing more awareness or change through understanding. The cycle of exhaustion could be some way you're trying to communicate something to yourself, and the message might be more revealing than simply "Say something else about this." There's an important Buddhist teaching about the dangers of what's called spiritual bypassing . . . skipping the curiosity, difficulty and discomfort and heading straight for the fix/cure/comfort/change. One tool -- positive thinking -- might not be appropriate in every situation. Or, it might not be the FIRST tool to use in the situation. I just think there could be something else to learn and know, and grow around, in how you're feeling and in your habitual response/articulation. And I'm not suggesting rumination, rather investigation. Gentle curiosity. Just wanted to offer another way of thinking about it.

[Heather Lin]

I went through a six-week period of feeling tired and drained. It took a NYTimes article for me to connect my feeling tired with my training to run a marathon. I wasn't getting less sleep than I thought I was; I needed more sleep than I thought I did. Perhaps your sticking to your exercise regime is leading your body to want a little more sleep than you are used to needing.

Just a thought - and I love your blog -

[HP van Duuren]

That seems to be a good idea, because what you think has a lot to do with how you feel.

I usually replace such a 'Bad thought' with an other, thought like for example:

"I take some time to recharge".

Also it usually helps to be phisically active, like for example going for a walk.
and it goes without saying the things I wrote on my blog some time ago about 'Ridiculous energy levels' you can find at:

http://hpshappy.blogspot.com/2007/07/ridiculous-energy-levels.html

All the Best,
HP

[Robert]

You could be overtraining. How often do you exercise? Overtraining is more common than most people think. Also, your diet might be holding you back.

Maybe try evolutionary fitness (http://www.arthurdevany.com/)