What Started Me Thinking

  • "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
  • “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
  • "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
  • “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
  • “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
  • “It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
  • “A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
  • “Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
  • “Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

  • Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
  • Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
  • Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
  • Sartre: "Hell is other people."
  • Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
  • Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
  • John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

This Wednesday: Four tips for surmounting boredom or irritation.

Hourglass2Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Four tips for surmounting boredom or irritation.

Samuel Johnson wrote, “It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery, and as much happiness as possible.”

One “little thing” that can be a source of unhappiness is being stuck on a task that’s boring or irritating. Sitting in traffic. Doing laundry. Waiting in a doctor’s office—or worse, having tests done.

The more you focus on your boredom or irritation, the more you’ll amplify that feeling. Here are four tips to “re-frame” the moment; even if you can’t escape a situation, by re-framing your emotions about it, you can transform it.

-- Put the word “meditation” after the activity that’s bugging you. (This is my invention.) If you’re impatient while waiting for the bus, tell yourself you’re doing “Bus waiting meditation.” If you’re standing in a slow line at the drugstore, you’re doing “Waiting in line meditation.” If you’re cleaning up after Halloween mayhem, you’re doing “Cleaning meditation.” Just saying these words makes me feel very spiritual and high-minded and wise.

Dig in. Diane Arbus wrote, “The Chinese have a theory that you pass through boredom into fascination and I think it’s true.” If something is boring for two minutes, do it for four minutes. If it’s still boring, do it for eight minutes, then sixteen, and so on. Eventually you discover that it’s not boring at all. If part of my research isn’t interesting to me—like the Dardanelles campaign for Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill—I read a whole book about it, and then it becomes absorbing. The same principle holds when doing boring or irritating tasks, like washing dishes.

-- Take the perspective of a journalist or scientist. Really study what’s around you. What are people wearing, what do the interiors of buildings look like, what noises do you hear? If you bring your analytical powers to bear, you can make almost anything interesting. (Perhaps this is a key to the success of some modern art.)

-- Find an area of refuge. Have a mental escape route planned. Think about something delightful or uplifting (not your Christmas list!). Or maybe review photos of your kids on your phone (studies show that looking at photos of loved ones provides a big mood boost).

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One way to deal with frustrating moments that involve sitting in front of your computer -- waiting on hold to talk to the cable company, for example -- is to have a bunch of fascinating blogs on your "Favorites" list or in your RSS line-up. I cruise through a ton of great blogs; some that I always enjoy reading include: Marginal Revolution, Lifehacker, Unclutterer, and Galley Cat.

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New to the Happiness Project? Consider subscribing to my RSS feed: Subscribe to this blog's feed. Or sign up to get email updates in the box at the top righthand corner.
If you're starting your own happiness project, please join the Happiness Project Group on Facebook to swap ideas. It's easy; it's free.


Comments

I do #3 all the time when I'm in long, boring meetings. I check the male/female ratio in the room (it was around 8:1 on my old project, while my new one is closer to 1:1) or count the number of wedding rings I see. Even when the information being presented is boring, the personal details and the group dynamics can be fascinating! Plus, I even look like I'm paying attention. ;)

Hmm...sitting at work doing nothing meditation. I'll see how that works out. :-/

I'm already planning my escape route.

For the waiting in line or during a meeting, my technic is to always have reading material with me or observe the people around me for ideas (what is this guy story ?)
If I am feeling creative, instead of reading, I draw or write fiction. Usually goes unnoticed, and I never get bored.

Like Mrs. Micah, I always have a book with me, so that I never get bored when I'm just standing around...waiting. (I'm a total book-tard.)

Your first suggestion made me giggle. I think I'll need to use that one whenever I'm feeling impatient or irritable. Perhaps when driving?

Thanks for the tips. I have a job that can get rather tedious and I need to try and cheer up about it so this has come at a great time.

My tip for not getting frustrated in traffic is to listen to talking books. I wish I'd discovered this earlier! I'm currently being transported around france with Julia Child's 'My life in France' and its wonderful. I now look forward to a decent traffic jam!!

I actually did think about the first of your tips on the treadclimber at the gym this morning, I find it quite meditative getting on a machine and working out and clearing my mind...

OF COURSE, how did I forget one of my most important rules of life: "Always have something to read with you." I must add this to my Secrets of Adulthood.

Audio books transformed the life of my friend. She turned a horrible commute into a pleasure, and she said it made a difference completely out of proportion to how hard it was to make that shift.

Great suggestions.

Thank you for a very entertaining Blog Reading Meditation! (One that was never boring.)

I just found this post after a long day of intractable computer problem meditation. What a boost it gave me, to discover what a spiritually uplifting day I'd had! Thank you, I'm smiling now.

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Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. Here, she shares her insights to help you create your own happiness project.

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