If you're in the mood to watch a movie about the nature of happiness and love.

On the last day of every month (if I remember), I post a list of recommended reading on the subject of happiness.

October 31 fell on a Wednesday Tip day, so I'm posting my list today -- and I'm posting about movies, instead of books.

If you're in the mood to watch a movie that has a particular focus on the nature of happiness and love, these are all outstanding. Great movies, very provocative, all favorites of mine.

These aren't comedies that are guaranteed to send you away in an upbeat mood (that would be a great list for another day). Nope, these are movies that tackle big questions like: what does it mean to be happy? how do we express love? how do we think about our responsibility for other people's happiness?

Well, that makes these movies sound like work, but each one of these is FANTASTIC, I promise.

1. Junebug
2. The Piano
3. Saturday Night Fever
4. Husbands and Wives
5. All That Jazz
6. Fight Club
7. After the Wedding
8. Terms of Endearment
9. Boogie Nights (this movie is an extraordinary meditation on the nature of love and happiness, and also work, but I do want to warn folks that it's about the porn industry, so be prepared).

Am I missing some good ones? I'm sure I am. Please post any suggestions for additions to the list. The Big Man just got back this morning from a trip to India, so I'm sure we won't do much this weekend beyond renting a movie.

*
The contributors to LifeRemix take turns posting a piece to the site. This week was my turn, and I posted on Eleven tips for feeling happier RIGHT NOW.

*
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Comments

[Laura C.]

Gretchen, I meant to comment on this before: I rented "After the Wedding" on your recommendation, knowing nothing else about it, and my partner and I both *loved* it. I gave it 5 stars on Netflix.

One of my favorite movies on happiness and love is "My Life Without Me." Oh, and "Away from Her." Both are unusual and wonderful, in different ways. I think Sarah Polley (star of the first, director of the second) is brilliant.

[Heather]

Junebug is great. I'll have to check out Husbands and Wives and All That Jazz. Fun post- thanks. By the way, I've started a blog (grace303.blogspot.com) and added your blog as a "favorite." Take care.

[Heather Lin]

Muriel's Wedding.

It's all about her pursuing what she thinks will make her happy, getting it - and moving on.

[Mike]

That old standby - Citizen Kane. Some quotes (from the Internet Movie Database):
Charles Foster Kane: A toast, Jedediah: to Love on my own terms.
Leland: That's all he ever wanted out of life... was love. That's the tragedy of Charles Foster Kane. You see, he just didn't have any to give.
Susan: Love! You don't love anybody! Me or anybody else! You want to be loved - that's all you want! I'm Charles Foster Kane. Whatever you want - just name it and it's yours! Only love me! Don't expect me to love you

[Teresa]

Once. It was at the Cannes film festival this year. Not a big budget film, but sweet and simple. Most of the music was written and performed by the two leads, and I couldn't stop humming it for days.

[Sara G]

Laura C said: "Gretchen, I meant to comment on this before: I rented "After the Wedding" on your recommendation, knowing nothing else about it, and my partner and I both *loved* it. I gave it 5 stars on Netflix."

I could have written that comment :) So ditto what Laura said :) We just watched "After the Wedding" Sunday night and loved it. And I have Junebug here and haven't gotten to it yet.

[Laura C.]

Other, more lighthearted movies, on love and happiness: "Kissing Jessica Stein" and "Russian Dolls" (sequel to "L'Auberge Espagnole") -- all enjoyable, smart and fun.

[Rich D]

I would recommend Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It is a beautiful if surreal look at a love affair from end to beginning to beginning again.

[lilybear12345]

We have to add "An Affair to Remember" to this list. The love jumps off the screen and right into your heart.

[Sarah Salway]

Born Romantic - just caught it the other day and it's lovely. So too, and similarly about dancing, Strictly Ballroom.

[so-called "Austin Mayor"]

GR,

This may be a little off base but I gotta suggest Bladerunner. If you look at it from one point of view, it is nearly nihilistic. But from another point of view -- my point of view -- it is filled with life lessons for all of us.

The basic plot is that a handful of android warrior-slaves lead by Roy Batty -- played by the brilliant Rutger Hauer -- have serepticiously returned to Earth. They are dying of accelerated decrepitude and are on Earth to have their lifespans extended -- "I want more life!" -- by their maker, the Tyrell Corp. Tyrell's motto is "More Human Than Human". (Side note: I suspect that you would agree that "More Gretchen than Gretchen" would be an accurate restatement of your first commandment.)

Androids are banned from Earth and hunted by sanctioned human killers called Bladerunners. Harrison Ford is the titular Bladerunner coerced into hunting Roy and his group.

Eventually, the hunted android Roy Batty turns the tables on Harrison Ford, the human pursuing Roy and his friends. Hauer then asks, "Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave."

A life of fear is a life of slavery. In the 21st century, what truth is more important?

And the final moments of Roy's artificial life prove him to be more Alive than anyone in the film. Probably more than anyone watching the movie.

Roy's final monologue can teach us all an important lesson about living -- really Living -- right in this moment.

-- SCAM

Here is a link to the Bladerunner trailer: http://tinyurl.com/3xwevy

Here is a link to the film's climax (but seriously, go rent it instead of watching this link!): http://tinyurl.com/22s9bl

[Helen]

I watched Junebug on your recommendation about a year ago. I couldn't stand it at all. It made my skin crawl for days afterwards.

[caterina]

Dear Gretchen,I love your blog,but I don't agree whith your choise of movies.
I would rather suggest Some like it hot, It's a wonderful life, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Harold and Maud, Amelie...

[Sarah Thompson]

The Princess Bride http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093779/
My favorite line ever: "Anybody want a peanut?"

[Matt Langdon]

Into The Wild has a lot of tings to say about happiness. Especially that it only works when shared.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I've got my list and out and adding suggestions, these are great.

Ah, Eternal Sunshine -- yes, yes!

Caterina, you and I don't have similar tastes at all! Though I did love Harold and Maude and have been meaning to watch Amelie for about two years.

We tried to rent Bladerunner a few weeks ago and the VHS tape had literally been worn out and the picture died. Now I'm inspired to try again.

More, more, more suggestions!
Helen, I know what you mean about Junebug making your skin crawl. I loooove it, but it's a tough movie in a way that's hard to put your finger on. There are so many moments of missed connections -- but then the moments of connection are all the more satisfying.

[Gretchen]

I've been meaning to comment for awhile but I'm a little shy I guess. I guess you can imagine how I found this site if not..lets see.. Happiness..Gretchen... Well bizarre as it is, My name is Gretchen and I am also from KCMO..and needed a little happiness in my life..I was a bit depressed and found you. Wow how fun..lifted my spirits right away. I don't live in KC anymore still have friends and family there. I live in Norway with my beautiful family and have nothing to be sad about, but sometimes you just want to be home. Anyway, hello and thanks for being here. BTW I love Knotting Hill..I know there are more, ok Wizard of OZ..but I must think, I am not a movie person but there are some that I love..ok Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood? Is that the name..I am more of a book person and I loved that book ! Gretchen

[Jen]

Love Actually is a great one.
I'm going to add all your recommendations to my Netflix queue right now!

[janecr]

The Lives of Others
http://www.livesofothersmovie.co.uk/

So good I had to go and see it again the next day!

[Zac]

Your Atom feed looks a little messed up again.

[Phil Schaefer]

I also just recently watch "After The Wedding" based on your suggestion and loved it. To return the favor, here are 3 under- appreciated films that fall into the "happiness" category:

Volver
The Painted Veil
The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio (great movie with a bad title!)

I also second the vote for "Into The Wild" for a movie still in the theater.

Phil

[Andrew Peacock]

Oh, so many I could recommend:

Little Miss Sunshine - a solid film about goals, success, happiness, family.

What Dreams May Come - actually set in an after-life, it's the most intense story about a man's love for his wife and children

Amelie - the most joy-filled movie I've ever seen, about achieving happiness through bringing others what they want.

Chocolat - how simple things (chocolate) can bring people together and bring more pleasure in life than the things people think they want.

The Shawshank Redemption - about finding inner happiness even when external circumstances are against you.

50 First Dates - all about love.

ET - As a 38 year old man, it embarrasses me that I still fight back tears when ET is dying and Elliot is trying to stop the government people hurting him. The love that comes through from Elliot (and the rest of the family) for ET is ... palpable.

That'll do for now, I think,
Andy

[Phil Schaefer]

Am I allowed a second post? I forgot to list one of my all-time favorite movies, "In America". An absolute must see film about an Irish family moving to New York City in the early 80's.

Phil

[jim]

Amalie, a French movie, has a woman going around doing secret things to make others happy.

[Doug]

There are two foreign films about food that I find to be superb metaphors for happiness:

1) Babette's Feast-the Danish classic about a woman who uses food to loosen up a stolid village. Words don't do it justice.

2) Tampopo-the famous Japanese "noodle western" about a hero's quest to help a damsel open the perfect noodle restaurant. The episodes and little side scenes are funny and show how food and life and happiness all intertwine.

Both of these movies were released in the USA in 1987. I don't know if that means that was a happy time in my life or that I'm just old. Either way, I love these movies.

[Tom Weeks]

Second vote for The Shawshank Redemption, absolutely perfect movie.

[Pippa]

I agree with Andrew: "Amelie" and "Shawshank Redemption" are my two favourite movies when I want to feel happy. There is something so free and quirky about "Amelie" it always puts a smile to my face. And "Shawshank Redemption" is a truly inspiring story about how you can be happy even in prison.

It just struck me that if my own life were a movie, would I watch it to make me happy? Hmmm...

[Aimee]

Kinky Boots. A very good movie about happiness. :)

[caterina]

I forgot Wim Wender's Wings of desire.

[mattie]

I'd recommend Afterlife, a Japanese movie and my all time favorite. It's a breathtakingly lovely movie about the memory you'd choose to take into eternity.

[Mattie]

My all time favorite is a Japanese movie called Afterlife, about choosing the memory you will take with you into eternity.

[Amy]

Yes, Little Miss Sunshine is outstanding. And Finding Neverland, (JM Barrie bio pic starring Johnny Depp)while weepy in spots is also terrific.

[Ravi Vora]

Crash, Finding Neverland, Million Dollar Baby, 3:10 to Yuma... I could go on and on, I love these kinds of movies. The manly ones though, not the chick flicks.

[phquaryn]

Seconding "Fight Club"! I found that movie to be very uplifting. All of the rag-tag characters are looking for a non-traditional route to happiness, and even enlightenment.

[Laura]

GRAND CANYON

[Gretchen]

The Family Stone is a good one about knowing yourself and choosing wisely in relationships. There's a great quote by Craig T. Nelson (don't remember it, but it's about how we can often choose to be paired up with the wrong person if we don't really know ourselves). A holiday weepy, but with really funny moments! Yup, my name is Gretchen, but I'm not Gretchen Rubin. Love your blog!

[Courtney]

A couple of great ones:

Return to Me
Keeping the Faith

I believe they both came out the same year, and are definitely required viewing.

[Tara Brennan]

I agree with Matt above. "Into the Wild" delivers a poignant message about the nature of happiness (excuse the pun, the story revolves around Chris McCandless's relationship with nature). It's a must-see.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I must see Amalie, that's clear, also Little Miss Sunshine. And so many others are also added to my list.

I can't see Shawshank Redemption, because I have an INCREDIBLY strong aversion to any movie, book, or play with the theme of unjust accusation. Can't stand it. That eliminates Othello, Oliver Twist, Atonement, The Fugitive, and a million other stories. I have no idea why I have this aversion, but it's powerful. Everyone else -- sounds like it's worth seeing!

[m]

I know where I'm going by Powell & Pressburger (never get tired of it)

Also recommend Lives of Others

and The Squid and the Whale (but not if you academically minded parents divorced when you were a child or you are very anti 'bad language')

[m]

oh and I totally agree with Tampopo and the other films by the same director he also made A Taxing Woman about a woman tax inspector...

Kind Hearts & Coronets

Whiskey Galore

[Kate]

Hi Gretchen,

I recommend "Lars and the Real Girl." I found it to be a very touching movie about happiness and love.

Kate

[Trish]

McCabe and Mrs. Miller

[Brittany]

I second 'Eternal Sunshine' and 'Amelie' for sure, those are the first two I thought of. I also think 'Joe Vs. The Volcano', 'Wings of Desire' and two Japanese films, 'Memories of Matsuko' and 'Casshern'. All of these are among my favorite films of all time.

[Bob Meade]

Like caterina, It's a
Wonderful Life heads my list. Not a Love Story, but plenty about love. And happiness.

[Angela]

I second "Shawshank Redemption"; for me, happiness and hope go hand in hand, and this movie is a testament to the power of hope and a positive attitude.

I'll add "Gone with the Wind" to the list because the contrast between Melanie and Scarlett is a great example of how much our choices and our values directly impact the happiness we feel.

[Sonia]

I recommend "Shall We Dance?" - the original Japanese version, please, NOT the Hollywood remake starring Richard Gere & Jennifer Lopez! The original, about a Japanese career man trying to find some passion in his life, is sweet, understated and quietly humorous, and the cultural setting is vital to the story.

[Michael Melcher]

"Manhattan Murder Mystery," a fantastic Woody Allen comedy, and also an accurate portrayal of long-term marriage. My partner and I have seen this about 8 times.

"Brother from Another Planet" -- a John Sayles movie from the mid-80s about a black extraterrestrial who lands in Harlem. So refreshing and innovative.

"American Dreamer" -- about an ordinary woman in a dull marriage who finds herself in the middle of a European mystery caper of the kind authored by her favorite author Rebecca Ryan. About the hidden potential of all of us.

Oh, I love these movies. Oh and also, "Babette's Feast." A wonderful Scandinavian movie about FOOD and community and what pleasure really means.

[kimberly]

I'll add some suggestions about love and life that affected me greatly: Stranger Than Fiction, Big Fish, Punch-Drunk Love, Wings of Desire, House of Flying Daggers, and True Romance. If you can find it, the film Ali: Fear Eats the Soul. It's beautiful.

[HP van Duuren]

Any Suggestions...?

Oooh Yes, I really love movies!
(As a matter of a fact I even had some education in screenwriting)

a 'moving movie' that I like to suggest is

'House of Cards'

BTW I recently put up a great
'Movie Widget' on my blog where

you can watch 'Movie Trailors' !!!

Now you can have a little 'sneak previews' of a lot of great Movies & TV show's.

All the Best,
HP

[Hannah]

Just to add onto the list...

American Beauty
The Breakfast Club
Big Fish

I don't know, but watching those almost always make me feel a lot better. :]

[Mary Beth]

Groundhog Day

[Julie]

You all have named some great films, but two that appear missing are: Sliding Doors and About a Boy

[Annette]

I have a few personal favorites not listed. Moonstruck is my all time favorite. Love chooses us we do not choose it. Camelot is about human frality mistakes and one of the best routes to happiness-forgiveness. I also love Gone With The Wind sometimes it takes a long time to know what will make us truly happy-perhaps so long it will be too late. Strive to learn the lessons and make your own happiness is what I get from these favorite films.

[Jen]

I have to second, third or twelfth Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
I love The Wizard of Oz (we all have it in us all along!)
Big Fish
Lost in Translation
and
True Romance - one of my favorites of all times. I love films that remind me of the happiness amid all the muck that makes us human, and that those are inextricably linked, and always present.

Thanks for your site, and this post and the continued comments! This is a great giant list of inspirational films! My DVD player is going to get an excellent workout!

[cw]

punch drunk love. especially if you are from the valley.

[Cindy]

Harold and Maude - Maude is great - so full of life and happiness
Under the Tuscan Sun - about a woman seeking personal happiness and fulfillment

[Mary G.]

Hands down, the movie Antonia's Line makes me think, feel and love more deeply EVERY time I watch it. Happiness for one may not be happiness to another but if you follow your heart and let your own spirit guide you, the beauty we reflect when truly happy is the gift we give humanity. This is a foreign film (Danish) with subtitles but worth the work it will take to find it! This movie changed me!

[Jake Stone]

Based on your recommendation, I watched The Piano and Junebug. I would not recommend watching either one. Junebug was a TOTAL waste of time.

[natiboy@bezeqint.net]

a movie that I loved - The Straight Story -
detailing an elderly man's trip in a seated lawnmower from western Iowa all the way to Wisconsin to see his ailing brother who he hasn't talked to in years but wants to see before the latter dies - wonderful

[jacquelyn]

Great recommendations in your list and the comments. To these, I would also add:
"Ordinary People" for its exploration of love and happiness in a family.
"Babette's Feast" for its look at how one woman's gift of love transforms a small village.

[Chris]

Volver
In Her Shoes
Sense and Sensibility
Harold & Maude

[Nia]

The Pursuit of Happiness (its a rough ride to getting to happy, but because of the struggle, that getting there is so much sweeter)

Eat, Pray, Love - (though I recommend the book a million times over the book, I think you could get happy looking at all the amazing food and the even more amazing/picturesque landscapes).

The Descendents(in the theaters now, such a beautiful but emotionally complex movie)

Shortbus (read up on it first. this is NOT for everyone. but it is an interesting look at how people get their respective desires met)

Babies - the documentary.

Mad Hot Ballroom

[dougaljess]

I can't believe no one has suggested 'Pleasantville', an early Tobey Maguire movie, where he gets sucked into a 1950s black and white TV show where everything is so pleasant, it's practically perfect. Tobey's urging the town's citizens to change their minds about things they believe in (but don't know why) incites debates about freedom vs morals, happiness versus responsibility and most of all, it begins to turn the town and its people from B&W to colour.

[Barbara]

I think the happiest love story ever is the movie "Enchanted."

[Kay]

Grand Canyon.
One of those movies which reminds you that you are part of something much larger than yourself. It's a movie that makes you stop and think about the human spirit, and the possibilities which exist when people step outside their 'bubble' and connect with each other in authentic ways.... How the small decisions in a day change the course of life more than the big decisions we often focus our attention on.
A severely underrated film. Don't understand why it's not on more "best of" lists!!! :)

[Jessica]

I think the movie "Living Out Loud" (1994, with Holly Hunter) is a superb movie about happiness and the forms it takes and what we think it is. One of my favorites!