The Happiness Project: It's Thanksgiving -- here are four questions to ask yourself, to help boost your feelings of gratitude.

The Happiness Project

THE HAPPINESS PROJECT is the memoir of the year I spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier – happily, it was a #1 New York Times bestseller. As one of the hundreds of experiments I've conducted, I started this blog. Here, I recount my daily adventures in pursuit of happiness. –

Gretchen Rubin

What Started Me Thinking

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain
“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson
"Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42
“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil
“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette
“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton
“A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison
“Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald
“Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

Happiness Theories I Reject

Flaubert: "To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."
Vauvenargues: “There are men who are happy without knowing it.”
Eric Hoffer: “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”
Sartre: "Hell is other people."
Willa Cather: “One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness; one only stumbles upon them…”
Alexander Smith: “We are never happy; we can only remember that we were so once.”
John Stuart Mill: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

Today is Thanksgiving. Here are four questions to ask yourself, to help you feel grateful for your ordinary life.

1. Do you suffer chronic or intense physical pain?

2. Have you recently received heart-breaking news?

3. Have you done anything that makes you burn with remorse?

4. Is every member of your family safe?

It’s easy to forget to be grateful for the most important foundations of daily life.

On a less transcendant note, if you're worried about overindulging at the dinner table today, check out thirteen tips for staying in control of holiday eating.

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If you’re coming via today’s New York Times or Zen Habits, welcome!

I’m very GRATEFUL to Henry Fountain, who wrote about the Happiness Project in his article, Let Us Give Thanks. In Writing. The importance of the emotion of gratitude to happiness is a fascinating subject.

One of my favorite blogs, Zen Habits, featured a guest post from me: Take this quiz: Are you an under-buyer or an overbuyer? I have to admit, I think it's pretty funny.

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New to the Happiness Project? Consider subscribing to my RSS feed: Subscribe to this blog's feed. Or sign up to get email updates in the box at the top righthand corner.
If you're starting your own happiness project, please join the Happiness Project Group on Facebook to swap ideas. It's easy; it's free.

Comments

Sorry if this is double-posted. Strangely, sometimes this post came up when I checked, and sometimes it was nowhere to be seen. So I re-posted, just in case. Ah, technology! But I'm so very GRATEFUL for it, even when it doesn't work perfectly.

Posted by: Gretchen Rubin | November 22, 2007 at 08:38 PM

Gretchen,
Great post! I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Oh and I am definitely an UNDERbuyer. Not that anyone should be surprised by that. :)
~Monica

Posted by: Monica Ricci | November 22, 2007 at 11:37 PM

Happiness is indeed a fascinating subject. I loved the quote about how you were annoyed with your gratitude journal. I too have followed Martin Seligman with great interest. Another fantastic scholar Dr. Stephen Post, Director of the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love, would be a super source for your work as well. Let me know if you'd like to be in touch with him. I reviewed his book Why Good Things Happen to Good People when it came out in May. A worthy read!
Wishing you great success, Gretchen!
Warm regards,
Christine Louise Hohlbaum
http://diaryofamother.blogs.com

Posted by: Christine Louise Hohlbaum | November 23, 2007 at 07:59 AM

Sadly enough I did get heart-breaking news which does seem to keep bumming me out. I do I stay happy when I know my big brother is going over to Iraq in less than 6 months?

Posted by: Jackie | November 23, 2007 at 08:30 AM

Sadly enough I did get heart-breaking news which does seem to keep bumming me out. How do I stay happy when I know my big brother is going over to Iraq in less than 6 months?

Posted by: Jackie | November 23, 2007 at 08:31 AM

What if the answer to a question is yes? I was still able to be thankful that we can all be together now as a family.

Posted by: Mrs. Micah | November 23, 2007 at 11:51 AM

Hey Jackie, my big brother is going to Iraq too, in January. I can't speak for your brother, but I'm grateful that mine loves his career and pursues it with a sense of adventure and optimism. I'm grateful I got to see him this Thanksgiving and he knows his family cares about him. I personally would prefer for him to be out of harm's way, but it's not what he would prefer, so I accept it. I hope at least that your brother has a sense of optimism and purpose - it sounds like you're definitely letting him know how much you care.

Posted by: TasterSpoon | November 24, 2007 at 02:51 AM

This past week received the heart-breaking news that I have a painful chronic disease. However, I too, was so thankful to be together with friends and family - and that they are all safe and happy - (and that my 20-something sons both pay their won bills!)

Posted by: maedreams | November 24, 2007 at 12:14 PM

Great post. So grateful, I can say no to all four. Okay, a little dental work. But it's not chronic.

Posted by: Martha Garvey | November 24, 2007 at 01:53 PM

Posted by: Martha Garvey | November 24, 2007 at 02:03 PM

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one wondering: what if the you can answer yes to those questions? I know it's not impossible to be happy when you DO fall into those categories, but it sure as hell isn't easy.

That's one of the reasons I'm here so often.

Posted by: NTE | November 29, 2007 at 10:06 PM

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