Can you think of movie scenes in which someone does an exceptionally kind or generous act?

The other day, on the subject of “YOUR Happiness Project,” I posted about trying to cultivate an “area of refuge” for your mind – that is, when you feel yourself beginning to brood, wrench your thoughts away to think about happier subjects.

Along those lines, I’ve been making a list of scenes from movies where I felt a big jolt of pleasure at seeing someone perform some exceptionally kind or generous act – but I’m having trouble coming up with a lot of examples.

Off the top of my head, I thought of the scene in Boogie Nights when the main character, Dirk Diggler (Mark Wahlberg) and his friend Reed Rothchild (John C. Reilly) eagerly ask the porn producer (Burt Reynolds) if they could make a different kind of porn movie, with plot and character. Burt Reynolds pauses and reflects, then agrees to take a chance on their vision.

One reason I love Boogie Nights so much is that the setting – the porn industry – is such an unexpected context in which to see a working out of the questions “What is the nature of loving action?” “What is our responsibility to others?” “What does virtue look like?”

I also thought of the scene in Steel Magnolias, in the beauty shop, when the sick, pregnant daughter (Julia Roberts) tells her mother that she wants to cut off her beautiful hair, to make her life simpler. Her mother (Sally Fields) pauses and thinks, then answers, “I think that would be just precious.”

In both cases, it is in the pause before speech that grace descends. The audience sees that the answer could go either way – to the loving, generous response, or the hasty, thoughtless response. Very Flannery O’Connor-ish.

I’d love to have more examples, and I know there must be a million. Please post any great scenes that come to your mind – and the more widely known the movie, the better. There are a ton of examples from the movie After the Wedding, say, but not very many people have seen it.

I posed this question to the Happiness Project group on Facebook, and got a terrific list — not of transcendent scenes that I recognized, however, but rather of movies to rent! I think I’d only seen three or four of the movies people mentioned.

I had never thought of Groundhog Day (a movie I love) as a forced, inescapable Happiness Project, but that’s certainly what it is.

My number-one project for vacation is to rent Amelie.

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The main way that I find an "area of refuge" is to open up a book. I was very excited to discover Bookdwarf, a great, funny blog about books and bookworld news that captures the delight of reading and makes me want to read everything the writer recommends. A lot of people write about books in a way that I find interesting, but that doesn't make me feel like reading what they're discussing. Bookdwarf inspires me to make a list and head to the library.

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If you're starting your own happiness project, please join the Happiness Project Group on Facebook to swap ideas. It's easy; it's free.

Comments

[Jackie]

I love that "Steel Magnolias" scene too-- the relationship between them as mother and daughter is full of those kinds of lovely pregnant pauses.

Nick Hornby, in his book "Songbook," talks about moments in songs where he could hear a moment of grace or holiness-- not sacred music, but times when the music just opens up a moment of beauty. His example is a duet between Rufus and Martha Wainwright, but I bet you could think of more if music is more your thing.

Also, I agree on the books as refuge-- this has been true for me my whole life.

[Jean Browman--Cheerful Monk]

I've just become addicted to the Gilmore Girls, a sweet and funny TV series. I just bought all 7 seasons. They have a number of touching incidents. And I just watched Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont...a simple and heartwarming movie.

[Jean Browman--Cheerful Monk]

I've just become addicted to the Gilmore Girls, a sweet and funny TV series. I just bought all 7 seasons. They have a number of touching incidents. And I just watched Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont...a simple and heartwarming movie.

[Leslie]

I highly recommend Cinema Paradiso - the gift of the reel at the end. Early in the film, the local priest previews each movie before it will be shown at the Paradiso, using the power of his office to demand that all kissing scenes be edited out. Over the years, life goes on. Salvatore leaves, never looking back. In the end, Salvatore returns for Alfredo's funeral and receives his bequest: a film reel containing all of the kisses removed from the movies shown at the Paradiso over the years. It is a profoundly moving moment on so many levels - one last fatherly reminder to embrace life... and a reminder of what it feels like to be alive.

[mel]

Oooh! Yes! DO watch Amelie!

I love the moment in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Charlie chooses to offer his ONE birthday chocolate bar for sharing with his family. Even though his family doesn't take any in the book, his choice to act generously is inspiring (and not a little humbling).

[Emily]

Ah yes, I read this post about halfway through and thought, Amelie! It's not just about helping others, but becoming more comfortable with yourself through those connections.

[Debi]

The scene that came immediately to my mind was the scene in Field of Dreams when the young Moonlight Graham comes to the rescue of Ray Kinsella's little girl, but in order to do so, he has to leave behind his ability to continue playing baseball. He pauses, just for a moment, at the edge of the field and then steps over, becoming the elderly Doc Graham. His self sacrifice brings me to tears every time. (James Earl Jones giggling just a few minutes later brings me to laughter, so it balances out.)

[Cara]

The scene that came to mind was in "Shawshank Redemption" when Andy played opera over the speakers for the rest of the inmates as a way to show them how to forget about their hard lives, if only for a moment. He gets punished for this, but he says it was worth it. The quote from his friend Red (the Morgan Freeman character) says it best: "I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are better left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was as if some beautiful bird had flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free."

[Doug S.]

"Pay It Forward" is a movie entirely about exceptionally generous random acts of kindness. The premise being that you would do something very generous without expecting anything in return other than that person must do another random act of kindness to someone else. I had a "Pay It Forward" moment earlier today. Even though I was late for a meeting, I stopped to help a mother stranded with her children in a car that had a flat tire. I changed the tire and sent her on her merry way with nothing more than a "Happy holidays!"

[BrotherJohn]

I have to agree with Leslie up above, the final scene in "Cinema Paradiso". It is the effect of an entire life time of small sacrifices that are enduring homage to film, love, and humanity.

I also have to say that almost the entire movie "Life is Beautiful" is dedicated to the idea of happiness and sacrifice.

[Jess]

I have to agree with BrotherJohn, Life is Beautiful is the perfect movie for moments of kindness and generosity.

It is simultaneously the most uplifting and most depressing movie I can think of. Make sure you have a large box of tissues on hand when you watch it.

[Steph]

It's not quite the same as witnessing a truly generous act, but I often think of the scene in Mr. Saturday Night when Buddy tells Stan that he has been generous and inclusive his whole life and Stan contemplates and responds, "You could have been nicer."

There's many times in my life when I feel like I've done the right thing, but I could have been nicer.

[Matthew]

Babette's Feast is a wonderful movie about this kind of gracious act. The act is, in fact, the whole plot of the movie, but it's full scope is revealed later in the movie. I don't want to give too much away.

[emilie]

Hi Gretchen, I've been (with great joy) working on this assignment since the facebook notice.

In the film RED, when the woman takes the dog she accidentally hit with her car, and finds the dog's home, and then the cascade of events that lead to the dog owner's redemption. Many moments of honesty and compassion and love, shining through the despair.

On another note, a couple of links you might enjoy, on reading, on writing:

http://timetowrite.blogs.com/weblog/

http://kimbofo.typepad.com/readingmatters/

best to you and your family for Christmas and new year!! x

[Rachel]

There is a scene in The Royal Tenenbaums just after Owen Wilson's character crashes into the house and runs over Ben Stiller's dog. Stiller looks at his father, played by Gene Hackman and says, "I'm having a hard time." And his father says, "I know you are, son. I know you are." It was the first genuine moment of caring between them and I get a little teary just writing about it.

If you are going to see Amelie, pick up A Very Long Engagement to the list as well (same director and cast)--it is extraordinarily lovely.

[Steve]

Gretchen - you should check out Blake Snyder's blog - he's a screenwriter and author, and his book Save The Cat is named after those movie moments where a character acts in a way that causes the audience to like and bond with them. His blog is great, too:

http://www.blakesnyder.com

[Dominic]

Some films that you might not have discovered, and that I find are good for happiness in general, are Jacques Tati's "Mr. Hulot" movies.
Mr. Hulot (played by the director) is a sort of prototype Mr. Bean who finds himself in all sorts of confounding situations that constantly escalate to proportions way beyond the point where anyone would lose their cool. Hulot responds to all of them with a Zen-like grace that speaks of a true inner calm, making him both endearing and humourous throughout. Relevant to your post, his response to the situations almost always ends up to the benefit of persons around him, so that he spreads his happiness through his actions by choosing not to respond typically. This "paying forward" of peace of mind extends to the viewer; I find the movies relaxing to watch and think about, and find Mr. Hulot an atypical role model for situations that would normally cause anger.
Tati's films can be hard to find, but they're worth the search. They include "Traffic", "Mon Oncle", and "Mr. Hulot's Vacation" (or "Les Vacances de M. Hulot" in the original French).
Oh, and the films are in French, but that's nearly completely irrelevant, as the dialogue has little to no bearing on the comedy of the films. Strongly recommended.

[Suze]

Well, since it's the holidays, I have to go with Love Actually. There's lots and lots of little scenes in the film but my favorite belongs to Emma Thompson at the very end of the movie. (She has lots of great moments within the movie itself).

Her husband, Alan Rickman, is coming home from a trip -- she has been brutally hurt by his actions in the movie -- and she looks at him and says, "It's good to have you back". I get teary just typing that line.

There's something about the way it was filmed and the way she delivers the line that really affects me. It's incredibly generous on her part because she could be -- justifiably -- cold and cruel to him.

Great topic, Gretchen.

[Ella]

I love the scene in Chariots of Fire (one of my favorite movies) in which Eric Liddell refuses -- in the face of the Prince of Wales -- to run an Olympic race that falls on the sabbath. Lord Andrew Lindsay enters the room and offers to give Liddell his spot in the 400 meter dash, which will be run on a Thursday, so that Liddell can compete. Lindsay's remarks and demeanor are so matter-of-fact and calm that Liddell is not put in a position of having to prostrate himself with gratitude.

[phquaryn]

Ooh, Gretchen, please do post your review of Amelie after you watch it. What a special movie. Some movies are good and some make you want to just get up and *do* something afterwards. Amelie is one of those "do something" movies.

[Lisa]

The new will smith I am legend movie has a seen of heart wrenching self sacrifice both of sam the dog and will smith and its something the young men in your life will go see

[Alex]

Sounds corny, but the end of Terminator 2 where Arnold sinks himself into the molten whatever-it-is after defeating the other Terminator guy. Edward Furlong's attachment to Arnold makes it a touching scene.

So was it kind or generous? I think so...can't remember the plot line that well but I'm pretty sure it was a necessary sacrifice given all the time travel complications, etc. etc.

I agree with the I Am Legend comment, although I hope it didn't ruin the movie for anyone!

[Gretchen Rubin]

Zoikes, MORE movies to rent! I'm making a list to take to Kansas City with me (although the last time I visited, my parents still hadn't fixed their DVD player...maybe that will be a holiday challenge).

All of these posts got me excited to see the movies. Except SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION. I have an odd quirk -- I can't STAND any story that involves unjust accusation. So this movie, Othello, Oliver Twist, Atonement, The Fugitive...can't bear to read or watch any of them.

And Life is Good -- I know it's supposed to be wonderful, just haven't been able to get myself to watch it. But now is the time! and all the others, too.

I saw Cinema Paradiso, but can't remember it well enough, so will have to re-watch some movies, too.

Thanks for all these great suggestions! Now I'm off to look at those websites...

[Debbie M]

Speaking of Nick Hornby, in "About a Boy" when the older "boy" buys the younger boy some sneakers. I also liked how they showed that swearing (at the terribleness of someone's predicament) can be an act of kindness. In fact, that whole movie, to me, is about how to help people in situations where it seems impossible to really help them.

And speaking of the Chocolate Factory, [spoilers in this paragraph] in the earlier "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" movie, the scene where Charlie gives Wonka the candy which has been requested by the bad guy, right after Wonka tells him he doesn't get a lifetime supply of chocolate after all due to not following the terms of the contract.

There are several scenes like this in "Fargo" involving the main cop character. I've always been struck that a movie character finally has tact. In most movies, there's no time for tact. There's usually not even time for "thank-you." But in a scene where one of her co-workers is being an idiot, she just patiently describes the obvious solution as just another possibility and asks what he thinks about that. And when an old friend comes on to her, she tries very hard to let him down easily.

[Ria Kennedy]

Blade Runner is filled with "happiness projects" which may feel bad, feel good or just feel right.

(1) Sebastian helps Pris and later, Roy, even though he has no reason to trust them (of course, that doesn't end well!).
(2) Leon sees Zhora get killed and tries to avenge her. (Yes, not his best moment, but it spurs Rachael to action to save another's life.)
(3) Deckard seduces Rachael and reminds her she is a unique and beloved individual.
(4) Roy saves Deckard and tries to remind him (and all of us) not to miss a moment of life, precious, precious life.
(5) Gaff let's Deckard and Rachael go, even though he is supposed to kill Rachael (and Deckard?).

I'm sure there are other scenes, but those are the ones that come to mind.

[Dean]

Gretchen ... re Shawshank Redemption: I would not/could not bring myself to watch this movie. Prison, the wrongly accused, all sorts of things. But one day my wife convinced me to give it a try. And I am glad I did because it is really a fantastic movie about the human condition. Take a chance. It is good and the scene mentioned earlier is one of the best in the movie.

[Thayne]

So many movies I love, but there's only one I've ever given as a gift. Tops on my underrated/underappreciated list is "Searching for Bobby Fischer." Ben Kingsley was robbed of an Oscar for his performance, and the entire movie sings. It's handsdown one of the best movies about sports ever made, and for my money, THE best movie about parenting ever made.

_/\_, Thayne

[hiker7]

'Amelie' and 'Life is Beautiful' certainly qualify as life affirming movies, but Matthew nailed it with 'Babette's Feast'. Here is a rare, sublime feast of a movie. It gets better each time I watch it. Only get the original movie in Danish, not the English dubbed movie - too much lost in the translation. Ignore any critics who call this a 'food' movie - they've missed the point. Enjoy.

[KM]

The scene in _Searching for Bobby Fischer_ in which [SPOILER ALERT] the chess prodigy offers his opponent a tie so neither one will have to lose.

I also like the last scene of _...say anything_ [ANOTHER SPOILER] in which Lloyd pep-talks Diane through a flight because he knows she has a severe phobia about flying.

[Melissa]

One movie scene that will always stay with me is the very end of "A Simple Plan". I do not want to give the plot away but at the very end of the movie Billy Bob Thorton's character makes an offer that is extremely moving. Overall, that movie is a great study of ethics and morality.

And Gretchen, thank you for the wonderful blog!!

[mel]

A little late to the game, but I noticed that CNN posted a list of "Top 10 Life-Affirming Movie Moments." You can check it out at http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/12/20/top10.lifeaffirming/index.html

[Alex C.]

I'm very fond of a scene in "Heaven Can Wait" (1978) in which Warren Beatty (playing rich industrialist Leo Farnsworth) gives a rousing speech to his company's board of directors. Beatty argues that the company has been acting unethically, and that it makes good business sense to stop polluting the water, stop killing dolphins when canning tuna, etc. It's quite a good scene.

[Michele Scales]

Recently, I viewed "What Dreams May Come. After Robin Williams Character journeyed from Heaven to Hell to rescue his soulmate he was decided to stay with her. He knew she did not deserve to be in Hell and he risked his eternity and sanity to be with her. When she could not forgive herself he helped her to see that she had not lost everything, and that it was all still there. He helped her to never give up and nearly lost his sanity in the process.