Not long ago, I had an epiphany – happiness projects for everyone! Join in! No need to catch up, just jump in now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.
One thing I’ve noticed with my own Happiness Project is the power of making all sorts of lists. I’ve become zealous about keeping a to-do list. I’ve listed my ever-growing Secrets of Adulthood in the left column. I check my resolutions chart daily (email me at grubin {at} gretchenrubin {dotcom} if you’d like to see them).
Making these lists keeps me focused on my priorities. Reading the list over and over keeps my priorities uppermost in my mind. And it’s surprisingly FUN to do.
I’ve noticed all sorts of interesting approaches to these kinds of lists. A to-do list is the most common kind, but a list can be so much more. It can be a statement of philosophy, or a collection of favorites, or set of life instructions. A humble list can be an important instrument of self-examination.
Most important to me are my Twelve Commandments (see left sidebar).
On his terrific blog, Work Matters, Bob Sutton has a sidebar of “Fifteen Things I Believe.” Among them, “Sometimes the best management is no management at all — first do no harm.” “Indifference is as important as passion.” “In organizational life, you can have influence over others or you can have freedom from others, but you can’t have both at the same time.” In a concise, interesting way, Sutton sums up his work philosophy.
Madame X of My Open Wallet has a list of “My Rules.” Her rules cover eighteen items, such as “Credit cards,” “Shopping,” “DIY vs. PAY,” and “Who do you think you are.” These sum up her attitudes towards money, saving, and spending.
An excellent site, Day Zero: Home of the 101 Things to Do in 1001 Days Project, leads you through the process of setting 101 goals and committing to completing them in 1001 days (the site even has a calendar calculator, so you can figure out the date). It also has some terrific tips for successful goal-setting.
43 Things, of course, is a great place to get inspiration.
On Our Happiness Project (a blog I love for obvious reasons!), the three contributors posted their own list of personal commandments.
I recently received an email from a reader who plans to keep two lists: one list of self-improvement goals that will evolve; one list for happiness goals that will never change.
It’s also very satisfying to make lists of favorites: favorite movies, favorite books, favorite traditions, favorite songs. You can also put a twist on it, to make it more interesting.
For example, I’m making a list of my favorite transcendent scenes from movies, moments where I felt a big jolt of pleasure at seeing someone perform some exceptionally kind or generous act — just because it gives me so much pleasure to call these scenes to mind.
I love the scene in Boogie Nights when the main character, Dirk Diggler (Mark Wahlberg) and his friend Reed Rothchild (John C. Reilly) eagerly ask the porn producer (Burt Reynolds) if they could make a different kind of porn movie, with plot and character. Burt Reynolds pauses and reflects, then agrees to take a chance on their vision. In the context of the movie, this is thrilling.
A reader emailed me that she was making a soundtrack of her life—the songs that conjure up each particular stage. That would be a very satisfying kind of list.
I’ve always been fascinated by the process of pulling ideas apart and trying to convey them in lists, Q-and-A format, True or False questions, or any other kind of very concise structure. I even managed to do that in my two biographies, Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill
I find the process of pressing ideas into these compact forms intensely satisfying; people’s minds absorb information differently, depending on how it’s delivered.
For that reason, I LOVED Chip and Dan Heath’s book, Made to Stick
Making a list is a way of figuring out your core ideas—about goals, about memories, about a subject that interests you.
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I just cracked open the December 17 New York magazine, the “Year in Culture” issue, and was thrilled to see that John Leonard’s TV round-up listed my sister’s new television show, Women’s Murder Club, as #1, as “Best new show” and described it as “genius.”
Not only that, but the show her husband worked on, The Shield, was listed as #3, for “Best Bad-Faith Scuzzball.”
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