This Saturday: a happiness quotation from the Dalai Lama.

“We find that not only do altruistic actions bring about happiness but they also lessen our experience of suffering. Here I am not suggesting that the individual whose actions are motivated by the wish to bring others happiness necessarily meets with less misfortune than the one who does not. Sickness, old age, mishaps of one sort or another are the same for us all. But the sufferings which undermine our internal peace, anxiety, doubt, disappointment, these things are definitely less. In our concern for others, we worry less about ourselves. When we worry less about ourselves an experience of our own suffering is less intense.” -- Dalai Lama

Read this very carefully. It's easy to miss the point that's being made. The FACT of the suffering isn't less; the EXPERIENCE of the suffering is less.

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Comments

[Alex C.]

What he said makes some sense, but I take the Dalai Lama's teachings with a big grain of salt. For example, he seems to have a problem with gay relationships, as well as oral and anal sex among heterosexual couples:

http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2007/nov/07110208.html

Yeah, if you Google it, you can find quotes where he seems to equivocate and back-pedal from some of his comments, but still... I don't trust him.

[Sharyn]

What a wonderful observation and truth, as would be expected from this source.
Unselfishness does, by the concept of the word itself, get your mind off of yourself.
As an added bonus, helping someone less materially fortunate, or someone who's going through what they may perceive to be great difficulty, can't help but make you appreciate your own life circumstances more.
And it can be selfish, therefore, to be unselfish. Everything comes full circle.

[F.]

In the moment of my life I'm currently at, I must say I find a couple of traps in that philosophy. There's a peril of focusing too little on oneself and avoid dealing with one's own issues. I believe that this suggestion is valid if you have everything and the main cause of your suffering is a lack of purpose because all your "basic" ones (so to speak) have been fulfilled - and these [basic purposes] vary to each individual, but may range from starting a family to building a career). On the other hand, if one's life is lacking of its basic needs, going out to help other people may be an act of neglect towards their own lives that leaves them bankrupt.

Also I've been recently reflecting on the fact that the excessive worrying about others and mirroring their pain *may* be a reflection of narcisism, when one finds oneself in the position of the "redeemer".

Just some thoughts. But yeah, I do see how leaving everything behind and volunteering to some refugee camp in extremely needy places (for example) can drive someone's mind off their broken hearts. Like in the movie Beyond Rangoon: http://imdb.com/title/tt0112495/
All the best to everyone.

[Julie]

Thank you for this quote. I think some people believe that altruistic actions have to be dramatic and big. Smiling at people you have even small interactions with, being polite, mindful of the elderly... all these "small" actions make a difference. Connecting with others even in a small way can make you feel good too.

[marina]

The art of giving benefits not only the receiver but mostly the giver. So giving makes most sense when we respectfully acknowledge the receiver's sense of human dignity and honor it accordingly. Human beings can learn a lot from dolphins and other more intelligent species about how to extend oneself in a respectful and creative manner. Namaste!