This Wednesday: Two easy steps for improving your life.
Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Two easy steps for improving your life.
There are two traps in happiness.
The first trap is deciding to make a tiny change when a big change is needed. If you hate your job, figuring out a way to stop working on the weekends isn’t going to solve the underlying problem.
The second trap – and I think the more common trap – is believing that a small change won’t make a difference, that only radical change can make you happier.
I’m constantly amazed by the big boost in happiness I get from small changes. Sometimes, though, it can be hard to identify the places where a small improvement could yield big happiness benefits.
So try these two steps if you feel like you need a happiness lift.
Step one:
Look for one of these…
…for a drawer or closet that’s packed too full to shut easily
…for an accumulation of objects that don’t have a place to go
…for a subject that fills you with guilt (“I really owe my grandmother a call”)
…for a part of your body that hurts or worries you (“That mole looks funny, but I’m sure it’s nothing”)
…for an object that you keep wishing for (“I wish I had a decent knife”)
...for something that you’d like to do, but don’t think you have time to do
…for a friend you haven’t seen in a while
…for an obligation that you haven’t fulfilled (RSVPing to a wedding, sending a baby gift, sending in an insurance form)
Step two:
Take action! Don’t delay. Just pick one item, that’s all. Take care of it. You'll be AMAZED by the effect.
These kinds of things weigh us down. They make us feel trapped and overwhelmed. Tackling small, annoying tasks is energizing – and sweeping the small stuff out of the way makes it seem easier to tackle bigger changes.
That’s why the two happiness traps are related. The need for small changes can sometimes make it feel impossible to make a big change – even when a big change is needed.
It seems bizarre to say that you might find it easier to look for a new job if your kitchen isn’t messy, but I really, truly believe that for many people, this is true.
Samuel Butler wrote, “Arrears of small things to be attended to, if allowed to accumulate, worry and depress like unpaid debts…If we attend continually and promptly to the little that we can do, we shall ere long be surprised to find how little remains that we cannot do.”
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Lots of great information lately at Dumb Little Man.
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Conversely, though, you shouldn't let tackling small problems keep you from the large problem. I, for instance, never get more housework done than when I have a looming writing deadline.
Posted by: sprite | January 09, 2008 at 05:54 PM
I could not agree with this post more. I often let small tasks build up, and they can make me miserable!
Posted by: Erica | January 09, 2008 at 08:33 PM
This is so very true. It's very often that there are piles of unclaimed clutter in my house (papers, books, mail) and even though I am usually not the one who made the mess, there is still a really great feeling after straightening up and putting everything in it's place.
I feel like if my desk is cluttered my head feels cluttered and cleaning off my desk can help me think much more clearly.
Posted by: Reese | January 09, 2008 at 09:19 PM
I agree, I'd have to say like, 90% of the stuff that weighs us down is "small stuff".
Ever read Kaizen? It's got some of that small philosophy in it. I've never read the whole thing but the parts I read were pretty cool.
Posted by: Loi P | January 09, 2008 at 10:48 PM
Some people won't even think about making that large life-changing decision.
Largely out of fear.
And apathy.
They 'accept' their reality.
They give up.
They resign themselves to a life they never planned or wanted.
What upsets me the most is seeing beautiful, amazing, talented people living a life of complete compromise.
They wait for a miracle.
A white knight perhaps.
Hoping that their life might 'turn out' amazing.
They use dis-empowering expressions like "oh well, we'll see what happens", when they could be saying "I'll tell you what's gonna happen... "
But the irony is that by not making a decision, they are making a decision.
Posted by: Craig Harper | January 10, 2008 at 06:51 AM
And doing one thing can often be enough to unstick you from doing nothing at all and getting the ball rolling on doing more.
Unlike Sprite, I often find that I will not do the housework before doing the writing, because I really needed to do the writing, but I'm stuck on the writing--so at the end of the day, I would have neither done. Whereas if I did a bit of housekeeping, it would unstick my brain and suddenly the writing (or whatnot) seemed that much more manageable. The trick for me is to simply do something, anything, instead of nothing.
Posted by: Liz | January 10, 2008 at 12:27 PM
God you're so spot on it's scary. Not just in your point but your examples are ME! I'm going to call my grandmother right now...
Posted by: grimo1re | January 10, 2008 at 01:36 PM
I just got this e-mail from Jack Canfield
Dear Heidi,
Rhonda Byrne, creator of "The Secret" wrote...
"The shortcut to anything you want in your life is to BE and FEEL happy now! It is the fastest way to bring money and anything else you want into your life."
An acclaimed "Secret" teacher and co-author of six Chicken Soup for the Soul books, my dear friend Marci Shimoff, passionately agrees and has cracked the code on happiness.
Marci's developed a remarkable 7-step process to boost your happiness and the rewards that come with it in her new book: Happy for No Reason.
This book presents a definitive, broad-based approach to becoming truly happy that combines great spiritual depth, top-notch research, and psychological practicality.
I'm certain that if you follow the practices in her amazing new book, you too will manifest a lifetime of happiness.
Marci will guide you through a straightforward test of 20 questions to determine your level of happiness...
You'll then be given a practical 7-step strategy to increase your level of happiness and decrease the risk of slipping into your old habits.
By the time you finish reading Happy for No Reason you'll know how to experience an authentic state of sustained happiness for the rest of your life.
This book should be on every desk... in every office...
every school... every nightstand.
It should be in the hands of everyone you know.
I invite you to Visit her website to learn more about all the great gifts she's giving you, and most importantly, get your copy of Happy for No Reason:
http://www.HappyForNoReason.com/MyBook?aff=JC1HR0108
Affirming Your Happiness,
Jack Canfield
CEO, The Canfield Training Group
Founder, Chicken Soup for the Soul Enterprises, Inc.
Hope you read and review this Happiness book for us :)
Posted by: LaVidaPura | January 11, 2008 at 11:07 AM
Thanks for some great ideas. Just by making a list of those things that are on your mind, you can give yourself an opportunity for happiness. Getting rid of those worrisome items, even one, makes you feel lighthearted and free. Thanks for the timely reminder!
Posted by: Shirley | January 16, 2008 at 10:46 PM
Hi, interesting blog, get to know your blog from CPP.
It seems so simple but it is really effective, many times, when I'm feeling overwhelmed or stress to do anything, that's about the time that I can do something, such as doing my chores, doing laundry or ironing or clearing the stack of papers in my table, and from that I gain much sense of achieving something.
It's a feeling as if I'm doing something useful that day, and it boost my happiness.
Great insights that we often miss out.
Don't feel overwhelmed in life, take and pursue your dream, one step at a time!
Smile,
Robert
Posted by: Robert @ reason4smile | January 20, 2008 at 10:15 AM
Actually, this reminds me of a great article by some professor (if I only I could remember who) who said that what he achieved in life, he accomplished by leveraging the power of procrastination i.e. he would always have the 1 big project he really really didn't want to do and then have several other projects that would get done purely because he was avoiding working on the main one. I *love* this idea! If one is a class A procrastinator (like, ahem, me), might as well have it work in my favour...
Posted by: Maxine | February 05, 2008 at 10:37 PM