A new way to celebrate Valentine's Day -- and one that doesn't involve shopping, crafts, or calories.

Today is Valentine’s Day, a day associated with romantic love and exchanging gifts with your sweetheart.

But you can use the day to celebrate other kinds of love, too. The Greek word agape is defined in various ways, but according to one definition, agape means a selfless, benevolent, active love for mankind.

One of my most important Happiness-Project resolutions is to Give proofs of love. As Pierre Reverdy wrote, “There is no love; there are only proofs of love.” In other words, instead of claiming to feel love, I must show my love through actions.

“But,” you’re thinking, “I can think of ways to give a proof of love to my sweetheart (bring home flowers, clean out the garage), but how do I give a proof of love to mankind in general?”

It’s easy!

Be an organ donor. First, sign up on your state’s registry (do this even if you’ve already signed an organ donor card, to make sure you’re in the online registry, which is far more accessible to doctors). Second, talk it over with your family.

This second step is CRUCIAL. States differ about what happens if a person has signed up to donate but the family doesn’t want to donate, but whatever the law holds, it’s a tough situation.

Organ donation takes place at a time of shock and grief. Make it easy on your family by letting them know – from your own mouth – what you want them to do.

So today, in honor of Valentine’s Day, while you’re drinking champagne, or eating chocolates, or grousing about what a silly, consumerist holiday it is, take a minute to PROVE YOUR LOVE by telling your family you want to donate your organs. (Yes, it’s slightly out of step with the mood induced by champagne and chocolate, but do it anyway.)

Most likely, you’re making the decision to donate your organs now, in the abstract, out of agape, but one day it may be your sweetheart who is waiting for that phone call from the hospital, to say that an organ donor has been found.

So, really. Bring it up at dinner tonight.

Your Valentine’s Day today could mean that, five years from now, several people’s lives will be saved. That’s better than cards or chocolate. That’s proof of love.

And appropriately enough, I just discovered, today is National Organ Donor Day.

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Along with agape, another kind of love is family love. Check out my one-minute internet movie, The Years Are Short.

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Comments

[Mrs. Micah]

I was so excited to become an organ donor last year (I signed up for it when I was 21, since at 16 I wasn't quite sure and maybe too young).

[jenny]

Thanks very much for the reminder, I dont think I was registered, so it was a very worthwhile thing to do on valentines.

Although its a tacky holiday, it was really nice to remind my husband how much I appreciate him with a card and a bacon sandwich.

[Gretchen Rubin]

One of things that surprised me most about organ donation is that it is a REAL PRIVILEGE. Not many people get to be organ donors -- something like 12,000 people out of the 2 million who die each year in the U.S. That's why it's so important that as many people as possible sign up.

[Dave Undis]

Over half of the 98,000 Americans on the national transplant waiting list will die before they get a transplant. Most of these deaths are needless. Americans bury or cremate about 20,000 transplantable organs every year. Over 6,000 of our neighbors suffer and die needlessly every year as a result.

There is a simple way to put a big dent in the organ shortage -- give organs first to people who have agreed to donate their own organs when they die.

Giving organs first to organ donors will convince more people to register as organ donors. It will also make the organ allocation system fairer. People who aren't willing to share the gift of life should go to the back of the waiting list as long as there is a shortage of organs.

Anyone who wants to donate their organs to others who have agreed to donate theirs can join LifeSharers. LifeSharers is a non-profit network of organ donors who agree to offer their organs first to other organ donors when they die. Membership is free at www.lifesharers.org or by calling 1-888-ORGAN88. There is no age limit, parents can enroll their minor children, and no one is excluded due to any pre-existing medical condition.

[Heather Awsumb]

I was just reading in the February issue of O Magazine that 95% of people approve of organ donations but only 8,000+ donations happen in a year. My youngest brother died a few years ago and was an organ donor. As somebody said above, it was a privilege for our family to give some of Spencer to other's.

[MJ]

I'm on the donor registry in my state, but God Forbid if it is ever needed, I don't trust my family not to muck it up. Partner is on the registry too and supportive, but I have crazy parents who don't believe in organ donation - they seem to truly believe that when a doc sees you are on the registry, they kill you in cold blood to steal the organs. I've tried, and tried, and tried, and as usual they can't listen to sense. Oh well, I've tried.

[Laura]

I had checked the box on my driver's license, but hadn't signed up before, so I did that now. I also think I've mentioned it to my parents before, but I just sent them an e-mail telling them again - it was an easy way to let them know without having to have a discussion about me dying that I don't want to have :(

[JohnW]

Parents - please have this discussion at the earliest possible age that you think your kids are ready. In 2010 we talked about it as a family after losing a friend who chose to be an organ donour.

My 11 year-old daughter told us emphatically that she would want to be an organ donour.

10 months later as her life slipped away after a violent car crash I could make that choice for her without any reluctance. Knowing that her lungs sing on and that her eyes still see the sunrise is the only good thing about this horrible experience.