A romantic weekend without children – a happiness booster, as experts predict.

A common piece of advice given to married people is to try to take occasional vacations together, without children.

When the Big Man and I go on vacation, usually we’re with not only our children, but also with his parents or my parents. For the first time in a long time, the Big Man and I went away this weekend together, with no family.

It was great.

As much joy as children bring, they’re also a source of conflict. There’s more work to be done, more aggravation, and less freedom. Days have to be scheduled around their meals, naps, and interests.

When it’s just the two of us, we find it easy to be agreeable, accommodating, and thoughtful. It’s a reminder of the romantic love that is still there, hidden beneath the surface of everyday bustle.

Also, when we’re at home, we get absorbed in our own tasks. Nursery-school children do “parallel play,” where they play side by side without actually engaging with each other. The Big Man and I have a lot of “parallel play” time when he’s working on his laptop and I’m working on my laptop, or he’s checking the Internet and I’m answering emails.

During our get-away weekend, though, we spent minimal time on electronic devices, and more time with each other.

One of my resolutions is to Spend money to further my happiness-project goals, and spending money on a weekend trip was good bang for the buck.

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A question for readers: to make my site more visually interesting and less crowded with text, I've made the images larger and added some pictures here and there. I worry that this might mean that it takes too long for the site to load. If you've noticed a slow-down that's significant enough to be annoying, I'd appreciate you leaving a quick note to let me know.

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Comments

[F.]

I read with RSS; no delays! ;)

[shapes]

I normally read through GReader but thought I would visit just to check. Download speed seems fine.

I'm personally surprised that it has taken you this long to add photos to some of your posts. In fact, I think the photos could stand to be a little bigger and jump out a bit more. If the picture is a simple one, you can compress it more and the quality shouldn't matter -too- much (anyone who actually knows what they are talking about when it comes to digital pictures should jump in right now and save me from myself :) )

[Heather at Grace303]

Download speed seems fine to me too. Your weekend sounds great!

[Bob Airhart]

I like the changes, and periodically changing the design appeals to me.

We tinker with the "sit-arounds", art work and decorations in our home several times a year to keep it fresh. That lifts our level of happiness, and only costs time and imagination.

[sylrayj]

I'm not having trouble reading through Mozilla Firefox. If it's possible, could you add a link to your image sources? :) Some of them are truly inspiring and fascinating, and I'd like to see them with more depth. :)

[Hayden Tompkins]

"A question for readers: to make my site more visually interesting and less crowded with text, I've made the images larger and added some pictures here and there."

I've found it harder to read your site for a couple reasons - as you mentioned, there is little to break up your block of text. I think pictures are a good idea but also, I know this sounds weird, more space between your paragraphs.

I don't know what it is, but it seems like your paragraphs all run together. Probably the template, oh well.

[Maya]

My comment is on the article about time away from children, a source of conflict.
I usually love your articles and find them inspirational. I am quite sure that you didn't mean it this way, but we've been trying to have kids for 16 years, and I find this article very non-inspirational. Maybe they're a problem or conflict for some people, but it's not the kind of thing to share with the world. I think it's a more appropriate article for a parenting website, but this is your blog and your business. I think a more general article would be better, like suggesting time away from "responsibilities" or routine. A lot of people would love to be tied down w/kids buut it wasn't in the cards. I have plenty of things to be grateful for and I am really fortunate, but many people don't have much else than an unfulfilled wish to be a parent.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Maya -- one of my resolutions is "Turn complaints into gratitude," and your post is an excellent reminder of that -- that often, I realize that the things that I'm grousing about are the core sources of happiness in my life. Just a reminder that that's the case is a huge element of happiness. Very important point.

[David]

The article serves as a suggestion to "unplug" from the day-to-day tasks and experience life with someone significant to you. My wife and I will do something simple such as window shop at the local mall. The stroll allows us to unwind, chat, and continue to discover our taste in clothes, fashion, home decor, etc.

We also "disconnect" by taking trips from small (weekend) to big (several days). The variety helps to make the trip fun. A trip can vary from sleeping in and lounging to sightseeing. Anything to relax and unwind.

[Rose]

My kids are a core source of happiness in my life, *and* I need to get away from them sometimes. I think that is quite normal! Taking the occasional romantic weekend or overnight with my husband has been so helpful to our marriage.

[Karen]

I agree with Rose. Another way to look at it is that my husband and I each make time to spend with each of our kids alone too. Time spent with my daughter without her little brother around is a special kind of bonding, not an escape. Ditto for the other combinations: dad-daughter, dad-son, mom-son, and, yes, occassionally even mom-dad.