In which I learn the meaning of the terms "extraversion" and "neuroticism." They're handy concepts.

Two psychological terms that get thrown around a lot are “extroversion” and “neuroticism.” For a while, I’d suspected that I didn’t quite understand exactly what they meant.

Daniel Nettle’s short, fascinating book, Personality, made it clear – and both terms are both extremely useful concepts in thinking about happiness.

As I've posted about before, Nettle’s book sets forth the “Big Five” model of personality. This five-dimension framework has emerged in recent years as the most comprehensive and dependable of the various personality models out there.

The five factors are:
1. Extraversion – i.e., response to reward
2. Neuroticism – response to threat
3. Conscientiousness – response to inhibition (self-control, planning)
4. Agreeableness – regard for others
5. Openness to Experience – breadth of mental associations

In this framework, the opposite of “extraversion” isn’t “introversion,” it’s “neuroticism.” So what does it mean, exactly, to be extroverted or neurotic?

I’d always thought “extraversion” was basically “friendliness,” but according to this scheme, high Extraversion scores means that people have very strong positive reactions, so that they consistently report more joy, desire, excitement, and enthusiasm. “Friendliness” is actually closer to “agreeableness.”

And although I’d often thrown around the word “neurotic,” in the Woody Allen sense, I hadn’t quite known what it meant. Turns out that people with high Neuroticism scores have very strong negative reactions—fear, anxiety, shame, guilt, disgust, sadness, very often directed at themselves.

These two concepts gave me a lot more clarity in thinking about human behavior.

They account for the fact that some people just take things harder – things are more infuriating, or scarier, or more anxiety-provoking. Other people find things funnier, more fun, more interesting.

The Extrovert laughs at hearing a woman talking loudly into her cell phone on the bus, while the Neurotic complains about it for days.

Learning these two terms was fascinating, and explained a lot about human nature, and it also had a very beneficial affect on me: I’ve become more patient with people who, I suspect, score high on “Neuroticism.”

Instead of feeling impatient with -- what sometimes seems to me to be -- unduly high levels of anxiety, irritation, or general negativity, I remember that this is an aspect of their personality. I don’t think that salmonella or black mold poses much of a threat in my life, but now I understand why my friend is more anxious about it.

Also, this framework reminds me that although it often seems to me that a certain situation automoatically evokes a certain response, that’s not true.

As a “low-medium” scorer on both extraversion and neuroticism, I can often choose whether to tap into my extraverted or neurotic side.

When my two-year-old daughter proudly shows me how she pulled an entire roll of toilet paper off the roll, I can choose to laugh at the ridiculous sight, or I can react with exasperation. I constantly try to remind myself that although it’s harder, it’s nicer for everyone, if I can choose to laugh.

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Today on the terrific LifeRemix network, I posted a list of the ten tips I used to transform myself from a couch potato to a gym enthusiast (well, if not always an enthusiast, at least a regular). If you’re trying to stick to an exercise regimen, check it out.

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Comments

[Jennifer]

Interesting.... I've never read or heard those definitions before or thought of it that way.

I just thought of extraverts as happy outgoing joyful people. But it really is about response to stimuli - or situations. So extraverts see everything as funny or in a joyful light and the neurotic sees everything as a threat.

While I think we are born with natural tendencies, we have to remember that life is ALWAYS a choice. That's such a great thing. If we have a natural tendency to maybe look at things in a negative light, we can learn and train our minds to think of them in a positive light and have a positive reaction. Isn't that great!!! Makes me want to work harder to be more positive.

[Alex]

Is Nettle really saying that the opposite of extraversion is neuroticism? That doesn't make sense to me.

To me the opposite of extraversion, what I'd call introversion, is a lack of dependence on interpersonal relationships, specifically in the search for happiness, validation, and meaning. Some people don't need a whole lot of help...they can be happy on their own. That's far different than neurotic, in my book. Maybe I'm misinterpreting something here -- I'm not sure how that fits in the five factors.

You might check out Anthony Storr's book called "Solitude: A Return to the Self." It's an interesting look at the whole introvert vs. extravert discussion. His point is that society stresses interpersonal relationships as the key to happiness, when in reality there are plenty of happy introverts out there...and that's okay, too.

[adora]

"Personality" is a wonderful read. (I love the cover art too.)

Before I read the book, people call me extrovert because I have a lot of friends and tend to keep them for long time. (I'm still friends with someone I took a drawing class with when I was 6.) Turns out I'm actually high on Agreeableness. I'm only 50% on Extroversion.

For thought who have not read the book. There is a FACEBOOK application for the big five personality test. It's amazingly accurate. You can also compare yours with your friends.

http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=2490151219

[Alex Fayle]

Those are great definitions. I think I've been mis-labeling myself as neurotic for years. I'm a reward junkie. I love to get praise (I am a Leo after all). That would mean that I would score high as an extrovert. And when I don't get rewards, I have nothing to react to and so get panicky.

Fascinating!

Cheers,
Alex

[John]

Hm, be careful of one thing, that book is actually redefining the definition of a word in order to give an interesting perspective on personalities. Extravert (extrovert), in the psychological sense simply means someone who is more focused on the outside world (other people, nature, etc.) vs. introvert is someone who focuses more on their inner world (thoughts, etc.)

If you really want to get a better grasp of the Introvert vs. Extrovert conversation, you should check out the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. It gives an excellent insight into personalities.

Regards, John

[gwen]

The "definitions" of extrovert and introvert that I always liked are these: An extrovert is a person who is energized by being surrounded by other people and an introvert is a person who finds that type of situation exhausting and/or stressful.

[Will]

Speaking of Woody, here's his best neurotic quote ever:

"I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible would be like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable." -- Woody Allen, ANNIE HALL

[M.]

Not related to this post - but did you read this from the NY Times.
Trying to keep too many open doors is certainly in the way of being happy:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/26/science/26tier.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5087&em&en=c56122843b1ec447&ex=1204261200

[sara]

I'm glad to see other folks have spoken up about this. I'm a proud introvert (check out "caring for your introvert" a manifesto of sorts in the Atlantic Monthly: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch).I am not irritable or negative, IF I get adequate time alone to "recharge" each day. I am learning to guard that time zealously...it is one of my secrets to being happy. :)

[Annette]

Ooh, I was just about to type a comment, but all of the above comments said exactly what I was going to say. Right down to the link to "caring for your introvert" - this article has been invaluable to me in relationships, it has really helped extroverts to understand a little more about what I need as an introvert to recharge and be content! :)